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I have been Stepmum for 3.5 years to a now 7 year old boy. I was Stepmum prior for 7 years to 2 other kids & that was a very positive experience all round with the children & their wider family.
My kids (14 & 13) & I have a great relationship with my Stepson & he is really happy with us, going as far as saying he wishes he could live with us. Of course, he loves his Mummy though.
Alittle background info, I have been with my DH for 5 and a half years. Married for 2 and a half years.
When we met, his son (SS) had just turned 5.
Our relationship moved pretty quickly, but we both knew it wasn't a throw away thing.
I accepted his son, I have gone out of my way to make him feel comfortable, do activities with him, buy him clothes/presents.
Over the years my relationship with SS has somehow completely been destroyed. I cannot even pin point it to one thing.
Although I am disengaged from SKs and not invested in parenting them. It does drive me a little crazy that SO makes it a point on a daily basis to flat out deny SKs obvious behavioral issues or completely ignore they exist when talking to me.
SD30 just used my credit card to pay her $270 past-due cellphone bill. I put her on my card last month in an emergency when she had a car accident & needed a credit card to rent a car. DH made it clear to her that the card was for that & emergencies only & she was to call him before using it. I have alerts set on the card so I know immediately when it is used. Needless to say, she didn't call us & a cellphone bill is hardly an emergency. I am furious!
After the mediation that went horribly wrong, a lot of very good friends and family intervened, I am grateful they did really. I couldn't see any light at the end of the tunnel and dh was quite broken too. First we had the it's so close to Christmas just get through it for the kids (considering it was our fiest ever Xmas with ss 11 that I fought for probably an idea) so he went in bd room and she came in with me and tried to crack on. And Christmas was actually lovely it really was, I actually forgot for a while that bm is always there about to cause trouble.
Maybe I am reading too much into this, but here goes...
SD7, SS4, and I were playing. We acted like me and SD7 switched bodies and SS4 and DH switched bodies. We were trying to find the “magic lamp” that could turn us back into our own bodies. SS4 says, “let’s go to our step mom’s house.” And SD7 said, “we don’t have a step mom (insert SS4’s name).” And SS4 said, “well I’m going to call her step mom.”
I'm sorry for sounding negative... but I don't have anywhere else I can turn to.
First of all....I am so happy I found this blog. I feel it's the only thing that has gotten me through the last few months. Here's my story: BF and I have been together since 2011. In 2014, I moved away for work reasons, but we kept our relationship long distance. From 2011 to 2014 everything was perfect. His son did not live with him and we only picked him up on weekends for a few hours. Once I moved away in 2014, his son started having problems at school. At some point, BF decided to have the son go live with him.
Okay posting twice in a row really soon, but I'm alone for the first time In a month so I'm basking in it. The boys are at their BM's for the weekend and my husband had to work an extra day to clean the shop. I don't have work or school to do today. I havn't gotten out of bed other than to get a handful of Oreos and a glass of milk. The house is already clean... my cats are in my bed giving cuddles, and everything is quiet. I think I am enjoying it too much... I feel bad because I love the Step Sons, but honestly I don't even miss them or my husband.
Okay, Kind of a rant, also want input. So I take care of the SKids most of the time, two boys whom I adore even though they are little terrorists. Their BM is kinda useless when it comes to anything but yelling at them, my husband, and me.