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Recent Blog Posts
How do I tell my DH I don’t want to give his son a gift? I think of gift giving as a “want to” not a “have to” and I honestly don’t want to. I don’t think he should receive a present from someone that he doesn’t “respect” or “like”.
And if I don’t give a gift to SS, can I still give one to SD? She’s been nothing but sweet and respectful.
For five years we have been locked in a legal battle. BM first married a guy for a week, had it annulled, the. There was husband number three. A man with a volatile temper. He broke a tv in front of the kids by slamming it to the ground repeatedly, and spanked the oldest SS so hard he kicked him back in the genitals to get away. Then (while still married to number three) she starts dating a convicted sex offender, and with every new love interest there is a paycheck and a move for the Steps. That was just in a year and a half.
Let me start by saying I know this post may cause some emotional reactions. I don’t want to be a grandparent, step or otherwise.
Some context for you:
I am 43 years old with two bio kids, 25 and 21 both studying at university and nowhere near looking to have children. I married my DH (65) 5 years ago and he has 2 kids now 35 and 29.
SO and I moved in together recently. I have a 6 yr old daughter who’s been sleeping in her own room since she was 6 mo old. SD is 5 yrs old and has always co-slept, shared bed with BM, and with SO until we came in the picture.
In reference to the incident between SD and DH on Thanksgiving, BM called DH "freaking out" to tell him that SD told her counselor about it and there is now an investigation. DH yelled at SD and threw her cellphone (flung it down the hall like a frisbee and it didn't break but the cheap $5 case did) because she was throwing a fit like a baby about making mac and cheese because she refused to eat dinner with the family. He had had a few beers but wasn't drunk. What should we expect from this?
I'm going to try to keep this as short as I possibly can. The wounds are still very fresh
Back in October, Ss12 was diagnosed with depression after SO found some very dark/distorted entires in his relfection journal. He's been seeing his therapist since. Both SO and Bm are very involved in his treatment. His therapist advised them at the divorce is what triggered it- apparently it's more common now(that's sad to hear).
As we begin the countdown to Christmas, my anxiety is in full swing as I anticipate DH's splurge to buy SD18 everything under the freaking sun. Now over the years I have tamed his craziness in what he buys, but I feel the guilty parenting is about to kick into overdrive as she's not at home with us, so he probably (i'm guessing) feels he needs to do MORE since GMA isn't financially capable and has already taken on the "burden" of housing her and BM doesn't ever do crap for her. So with that being said I've given DH a few ideas of what to get her.
With your step and bio family, do you allow others to draw the boundary of family where they need or want to? Or do you dictate where boundaries need to be drawn?
Years ago, my girlfriend was going to have brain surgery to remove a tumor. One of the risks was losing her memory . One of her biggest fears was forgetting her children and not being able to love them again. They were preteen and teens and not at a pleasant age. She actually confided in me she didnt think she could love them if they didnt come out of her body. Lol
I guess thats how we feel about the skids. We would like to love them but it cant be forced. I think the younger you get them the better the bond but BMs still get in the way.
Yes, I stalk my DH ex-wife. I never did, really… it never crossed my mind. But after she abandoned her kids, I did… why???