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OT: Disengaged Grandparents/In-Laws

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DH's dad lives about 5 hours away and is remarried. Grandparent is early 70s and retired. He constantly complains about not seeing his grandkids. He does not call or Facetime to check on them though. He makes comments to DH such as "I wish we could all go on a beach family vacation." Grandfather continuously guilts DH, even though HE is the one with the flexible schedule and makes no effort. 

We just don't care...

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BM (38) just had another baby last week. She has a 20 y/o son, SD14, and now a newborn. All different fathers. She is currently living with the boyfriend, but has no plans of getting married and still has DHs last name. 

I try to avoid interaction at all costs with SD, but we were stuck in the car together yesterday. She made multiple random comments about BM...

- She was sooooo sick while she was pregnant, IDK how she had a big baby

- I was only 7 pounds, IDK how ____ was a whopping 9 pounds! 

- and something else I can't even remember. 

Mentally Disturbed SD14

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DH called out SD14 yesterday for her out right MEAN and DISTURBING comment about my dog. 

I heard my dog throw up in the other room and yelled, "Oh no, was that ____? Did she just throw up?"

SD14, who is in the den, proceeds to say to my dog "____ you should go outside in the thunderstorm and sacrafice yourself." 

DH: "Well, THAT'S mean. Why would you say a thing like that???"

SD: "Geez, I was just joking." *eyeroll*

DH: "Don't roll your eyes at me."

SD: "What, she's just a dog."

FUMING! DH footing the bill for SD13

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The offical CO has SD13 living with us 50/50 and no child support being paid. BM is a piece of sh!t and never follows the order and declines visitation when having SD13 doesn't fit her schedule. DH has said NOTHING to BM for the past 1.5 years this has been going on. IMHO he should have taken her back to court and filed for CS. 

Dinner Routine Sucks

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Dinner at our house is forced and I hate it.

I do homemade meals maybe 4 nights a week. The other days are leftovers or pizza. Usually around 6:00pm. DH was running a little behind from work, but I still made tacos. Myself and DS3 sat down with our food and I also told SD13 dinner was ready. I usually DON'T yell upstairs because 1. pet peeve of mine for yelling in the house and 2. SD13 can have the decency to come out of her room if she's hungry. 

Annnndddd this is EXACTLY why I disengaged

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Been disengaged from SD13 for about 3 years now. Sometimes DH makes snide comments like "I know you guys (me and SD) don't talk." or "I know you don't have much of a relationship." etc. So I think sometimes it definitely bothers DH that I am staying disengaged. 

Well, SD13 was here all weekend with no plans so DH had the wonderful idea of making us all go grocery shopping and do a CostCo run together Sunday morning... to feed his "one big happy family" fantasy. Literally, the ENTIRE time SD13 has something negative to say. 

SD: "_____ doesn't like me" referring to DS3. 

DH wants SD13 to babysit?!

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I had asked DH a few days prior if he could put DS3 to bed and watch the baby monitor Thursday night. He was a maybe, but said SD13 would be home and she could definitely "babysit." I immediately said, nevermind I'll just cancel my plans. I think DH was offended. Not that I care. He said "SD needs to start taking on more responsibilities." NO WAY I would ever let her solely watch my son. She completely ignores him when they are in the same room together. Typically only in the kitchen when SD13 comes downstairs to get food. They have no relationship & don't interact.

Do you think BM is fishing for a reaction??

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SD13 shared with DH back in Decemeber that BM is pregnant with her BF and having a boy. Ever since then, BM always seems to bring it up when texting with DH... but he never acknowledges it directly with BM.

Examples #1:... BM texted DH asking for Christmas present ideas and the amount of gifts. Proceeded to say "she has enough kids" to buy for. 

#2... BM told DH she needed to change drop off time because she had an "important doctor appt" in the morning. 

Rose Colored Glasses Came Off!

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WOW. I am shocked to tell about the conversation DH and I had yesterday. 

Quick backstory: Been with DH for 8 years and SD is 13. 50/50 CO with BM. Disengaged for my own mental health and to prevent arguments with DH.

I've posted more lately about all the issues with SD13. Vaping, mess of a room, friends over, poor grades, etc. 

DH and I were on the phone otw home from work. Simply asked if SD was going to be at our house this wknd. Change of plans were up in the air earlier in the week.