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They're your babies, not your pawns

reclaimingmypower15's picture

Does anyone else's husband's first wife hate his second wife with the fire of a thousand suns? No? Just me? Man, it sure feels that way. It's been 11 years since my husband's divorce. His ex wife didn't want the divorce. Still behaves in a way that seems to convey she'd take him back in a heartbeat if only he'd ask her to. Full disclosure, my husband and I had an affair and he divorced his 1st wife to be with me. This is not, nor has it ever been, something that I'm proud of or am looking to excuse. I fucked up, acted impulsively and childlishly.

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Help I Hate My Stepdaughter

Deyacat's picture

I'm married to a great man, we're a blended family, I have a daughter (14 year old) from a previous marriage and he has a daughter (13 year old from a previous marriage), we've known each other over a decade, because we were friends first and married other people before and then after our failed marriages we rekindle our friendship and ended up dating and realized we're meant for each other, however, my husband got full custody of his daughter on his divorce, and she's a nightmare.

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Puppy Problems

goldengoat's picture

I'm finding FSS18 to be kinda awkward to type so often, so I'm just gonna go with Guzzlord (it's a Pokemon reference) since that's what I jokingly call him in my head, anyway.  *biggrin*

We've had our puppy, River, for almost a year now.  We picked him up when he was 9 weeks old after an old friend back home pulled an irresponsible-pet-owner move and wound up with a litter.  I was planning a trip to visit, anyway, and the timing worked out just right.  

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Thank You

Primal Scream Therapy's picture

Thank you. It may be odd to be the first words you read from a stranger who's blog just started; but I wanted to express my gratitude right away. For awhile I've needed an ear to bend about step parenting. At time of writing I am in my early 30s and a step mom of two teens. Perhaps it is the fact that they are teens I am screaming out, although I recall a few instances in their younger years I would have liked some guidance.  I'm here now though. 

 

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Everything is different.

Outside's picture

Well, it happened. We knew it might. He was bound to have a child or two from his past wild behavior. Cut to last year, 6 kids in, and suddenly there's a new addition to the family. Surprise, it's a six foot tall 230 lbs uhh, 14 year old boy. We had talked about it several times. About how we would feel, how we would cope, how we would adjust... But life just happens, you know? I expected to be happy. And I was. I expected to be excited. And I was. What I did not expect was to feel an undeniably and deeply disturbing feeling of being an outsider in my own family.

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The Light at the End of the Tunnel: Things I Didn't Worry About

JRI's picture

I'm the veteran BM & SM of 5 reflecting on my steplife as I read the posts. DH & I feel blessed that we survived it all.  Here's what wasn't worth worrying about when all 5 lived here:

Eating Habits:  Some of the SKs were (and one still is) picky eaters.  If DH wanted to give one of them fast foid money if they didnt like the meal, whatever.  I now believe it was a desire for the taste considtency of fast food.  They hadnt been exposed to a big variety of food.

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The Light at the End of the Tunnel: Parity

JRI's picture

I'm the veteran BM & SM of 5 reflecting back on my steplife as I read the posts.

Parity was my stepparent religion.  Our kids were close in age & once we were all living here, parity seemed the wisest policy to prevent jealousy & envy.  At Christmas, I not only spent the same on each but made sure each had the same number of gifts to open.  I spent the same amount on birthdays and school clothes.  As they reached driving age, we handled each the same.  Lather, rinse, repeat for everything.

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The Light at the End of the Tunnel: Shelter from the Storm

JRI's picture

Im the mature BM & SM of 5 flashing back as i read the posts.  I wanted to talk about something all of us dread:  adult kids moving back in.

DH always liked the idea of having a spare room "in case".  He felt he hadn't had much family support and wanted to be able to offer that.  Four of our five kids have moved back in at one time or another.  The bottom line is each case is different.

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The Light at the End of the Tunnel: Hellish Vacation

JRI's picture

The recent blogs about hellish vacations have reminded me of mine.  Back on the '70s, i naively thought it would be a good idea to plan a vacation for all 7 of us.  I booked a big cabin at a nearby lake.  DH's friend generously offered to lend his outboard motor boat.

We packed our van & took off.  I can't remember what the 3 boys were doing in back (these were pre-carseat days) but whatever it was, DH was incensed.  He yelled at them half the way there.

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