They're your babies, not your pawns
Does anyone else's husband's first wife hate his second wife with the fire of a thousand suns? No? Just me? Man, it sure feels that way. It's been 11 years since my husband's divorce. His ex wife didn't want the divorce. Still behaves in a way that seems to convey she'd take him back in a heartbeat if only he'd ask her to. Full disclosure, my husband and I had an affair and he divorced his 1st wife to be with me. This is not, nor has it ever been, something that I'm proud of or am looking to excuse. I fucked up, acted impulsively and childlishly. It is something that I am deeply remoresful for. I do not regret it because I can't change it. I do regret causing pain and suffering to another and very much wish that I could somehow heal the wounds that I have caused. It is this harsh reality and the burried, undiscussed truth of our situation that has lead me to this platform. Surely there's someone out there reading this who is living something similar?
She's remarried, has been for 7 (ish) years. I thought/hoped when she remarried some of the bitterness, the resentment, the mean-spirited behaviors would cease. They haven't. She continues to be vengeful and uses her children as pawns in her and my husband's long expired chess match. Having a neighbor pick up their son and bring him home to an empty house while she and her husband are traveling in lieu of having his dad pick him up and bring him to our house until their plane lands. Having a friend take their daughter to practice even though she knows my husband will also be there (he's the coach of her team and we live right up the street). Hearing of a trip we're planning and then taking them on said trip before we do. Hearing of a concert we'd like to take them to and then, since it's on "her day," taking them to said concert. It's been 11 years of these kinds of behaviors with no end in site. It feels hopeless and exhausting to think about the future.
I'm sure there will be many who think/respond with fire to this post. The "Well what do you expect" responses. I expect humanity. I expect humanity...