A while back, I had posted asking about self-help books or techniques. I've been blogging a little bit about my journey in individual counelling, DH's individual counselling and marital counselling since the beginning of 2021. It's totally changed my life and marriage except there's one lingering major, very long-standing pattern that I can't seem to figure out. 

I was looking for our court order in DH and my joint email account today to look for a clarification to an upcoming visitation. The clarification I needed wasn't in the most recent CO, so I started looking for the old COs in our email. While we keep physical copies of all our COs and court documents, it is less stressful to keyword search for the document we need instead of sifting through thousands of pages of printed documents. While looking for said court orders, I ended up coming across packets of emails between BM and DH that we had sent our attorney for our court battle 3 years ago.

So..as I was walking through what SS will need to do tomorrow, we happened to touch on a few more other things, including his long shower without soap (see other post for this. What bothers me was the water waste, but per SS15 he thinks not knowing how to shower correctly is something embarrassing and would rather us not to talk to his therapist about it).

Out of all of the topic, SS made a snarky and creepy comment:

SS: So...I have a question for you

Me: Okay?

SS: So...what was the thumping noise in your room the other day?

Just thought I would hop on to share the straw that broke the SMS back and allowed me to completely check out from step hell and the last of the Skids. 
 

For reference I have been married 11 years.  Three SSs ranging from 25 to 16.  The only one that we see or hear from is the youngest.   I have had an ok relationship with him but we aren't buddys.  He will say love you when I have to take him places but other then that we don't really speak much. 
And I think we were both ok with that.   No one taking it personally.