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Recent Blog Posts
Like many of you on my previous blog, we were definitely still concerned about the whole SD situation, but unsure how to approach it without making it blow up. DH and I did send BM another message being more firm, but not threatening CPS instead expressing the concern and how if roles were reversed BM would be asking questions too. Seemed like BM didn't think there was really a problem which lead to sharing what the teachers had relayed to DH (minus the first teacher sharing the note BM sent in).
I'm frustrated because SD 14 almost 15 forgets belongings each week. She's generally a good kid involved in extra curricular a and good in school, a bit jealous if our two kids I think and sometimes bullies but that's besides the point, we have written a list of belongings on her mirror and ask her every transition day to please comb through it and make sure she doesn't forget anything.
I posted gift suggestions for older adults last year but here it is again for new members. DH87 and I 79 have all the "things" we need and, actually, we are trying to unload stuff on our poor kids, lol. We still live independently in a middle class suburb. I've also included suggestions other Steptalkers added last year. Please feel free to add more.
My partner has recently decided to stop helping monitor the SK time so they don't miss their bus. They have clocks, SD has a watch and alarm goes off over an hour before bus arrives, it's too taxing to read an analog clock for them, (not sure why it matters when our oven and microwave literally provide the numerical time stamp) blah blah....
So today SS barely missed the bus. He was too busy messing around to give a crap til minute of. But he made it.
So I finally had a conversation with my SO about what I need in this relationship and what I envision. I do realize he's had zero and I mean zero examples of what a healthy relationship looks like. He's got plenty of childhood trauma that he knows affects him and how he "reacts" to conflict. I don't see it changing immediately overnight because he's spent years "reacting" that way (deflecting, gaslighting and blame) but I am thankful he sees it.
Ours was overall outstanding. We flew out the Friday prior to TG. That week was the 31st anniversary of our first date. I only know the week because it was the week before TG. Otherwise that would be nowhere near my Man-RADAR.
BM just sent a heart emoji to the last message DH sent, but it was actually me who sent it because DH is at work and over the phone told me to say what his response was in the app...
EW.. and wtf?
This morning we heard back from SD's resource teacher that DH had emailed last week inquiring about SD after SD's general teacher shared that SD has been more emotional and about the note BM sent to school that the family is going through a difficult time. SD's resource teacher shared that SD has been getting more frustrated lately, about to cry at the smallest thing, and that if asked about it, SD says "her and her sister are going through a lot right now." Also, SD has been unable to sit still and is dropping things "A LOT" all of a sudden.
I swear to God I am going to get a divorce before we become empty nesters, with the finish line just 2-1/2 yrs away, and 9yrs of step-hell will have been for nothing.
SS18 has been at college since August. I posted about how we think he's probably going to be coming back for his HS gf, hopefully just transfering to another college, but who knows at this point. Either way, NOT living with us long-term, just for the summer at most- hopefully staying with Crazy. But I digress.
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