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Recent Blog Posts
I would be grateful for any advice you could give me. I'm sorry this is long and not entirely about stepchildren... I'm going to try to tell my story in 3 parts because it's so long.
Part 1: The Beginning
8 years ago I started dating a single dad, "D", to a 13 year old boy. We met on a dating site. At the time I was 27 and I had never dated a man with a kid before, but I was not worried. I have younger brothers around the same age and I enjoyed watching them and being around them and all their friends. In my family, I was the babysitter and I really enjoyed it!
Most people won't remember and my posts. I invte you to check it out.
Last time I posted here I said my husband's daughter left our home and went to live with her mom which was starting a business, a physical therapy clinic.
Next year the girl was approved in one of the best colleges in Brazil, she chosen Physical Therapy.
Well, everything went well for everybody until 2020.
I seem to be at the end and let me say its a painful place. Not because I fear losing anything but my sanity. My dear husband still hasn't downloaded the court docs. He actually called me a bad name which we never use to talk like that but SS10 is going to moms more n it seems the break makes me dread his presence even more. He comes back stinky n won't eat for a couple days (mostly healthy food he will say he isn't hungry) so annoying for me because I know he just wants to eat junk. My husband told me SS10 is afraid of me.
My boyfriend has 2 children. He has GPS. We have very little time alone. My 14 year old is amazing, well behaved and patient. His kids are loud. Rude. Inappropriate. Hyperactive and destructive. There is sarcasm and tantrums from his 9 year old and I'm sure his 4 year old is autistic. He has them enough. 5-6 nights a fortnight. Now he wants them more. I have ME and fibromyalgia. I can't cope with them taking over my house, leaving mess everywhere. Speaking to me like crap, causing arguments. I can't watch my own tv or cook food I want. They will only eat crap.
Just anohter night of DH working until 7... SS13 running from his bedroom window to the glass door "watching squirrels" then dicking around in the middle of the road all while I'm trying to get DD2 to finish dinner without being distracted by his antics.... I put her to bed SO EARLY on the nights he is here because I just don't want her around him. He pretends to fall and lately she's been doing the same. I know its small but its a behavior that was learned through watching SS and I hate it.
Recently I have had some issues with my step daughter coming home from her moms house with a bad attitude/acting older/not kind. She is only 6 almost 7 but her mom tells her things that arent age appropriate and lets her watch pg.13 movies/grow up to quick. I have been in her life since she has been 1 and her dad and I have her for the majority of the time.
So in my last post I ranted about BM asking for some food items- I know and I realize that was just my knee jerk reaction because honestly her request is NOT unreasonable in the least. We will be bringing a few items. Of course one on the wish list was an elaborate carved out fruit plate in baby theme, to which I said absolutely not.
SD is going to homecoming with her friends. She asked that DD and I take her for a dress. She asked nicely and well DD loves to shop for dresses so we went. I did ask SD point blank if this was something she would like Beaver to do since its a "mom" sort of thing. Sd replied that no..she didn't want Beaver to take her for two reasons.
1. Beaver's taste in clothing sucks. (I agree with SD..Beaver dresses like a cross between a 80 year old women and a homeless person)
Do you initiate affection with your step kids or do you let them? I always get nervous when saying bye to them when I go somewhere or if they are going back to their moms. I always second guess myself on whether I should hug them or not. Any advice?
We went to a concert Saturday night, and who should pop up briefly, but Feral Forger SD22. We live in a small town. It was a sort of pricey ticket at a really nice local venue. Granted, she had the less expensive balcony seat, but for someone who is not working and crying "poor me, no one loves me, life is so HARD", well lets just say that ship has sailed big time. For anyone remaining under any illusions of FF SD needing sympathy and help, the concert took that away.