Does anyone feel they are in a never ending circle? I love my DH to pieces but I am so tired of the cycle whether it be a week, a month, 3 months, it is always the same. We talking about changing the pattern and the communication rhythm but we always go back to finger pointing normal for us. Of course it is miserable...could I do it alone sure I could..BUT there is no other man in this world I would want to "live in this hell with" if that makes any twisted sense at all lol! Break the circling chain of events so we can flow into something more is that possible?
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In a previous post I wrote about BM needing to call SS9 every single day to “help him study” his spelling because he got ONE bad test grade. She wanted to call him outside her parenting time per the CO, and my SO said NO. She persisted, she manipulated, she begged, she threatened court, etc. My SO still said NO.
I try to give credit where credit is due and for BM’s part, at least she realizes that Little Idiot (SD 19) isn’t the perfect little princess DH makes her out to be. She recently shared a post on Facebook and tagged Little Idiot in it. The post was about how Her first child (not DH’s) was well mannered and gave her the confidence to be a good mother but her second child (SD) was the “wild child” and taught her not to judge other mothers lol. I showed it to DH. He was, of course, indignant over what he Believe to be an unfair mischaracterization of his daughter.
I have to vent...
This morning, my husband and I took the smallest step child (age 4) shopping with us as we both needed new hiking boots for an upcoming trip. The closest stores are about an hour away.
The car ride there: smallest step child demands to listen to certain songs (which my husband gladly plays), throws a fit about not getting to visit his mom (does wonders for my mood), repeatedly asks to turn the music up or down (again, which my husband gladly does), and plays with his water cup (splashing the window multiple times).
I have been in my Step daughters life since she was 4 years old she is now 16. We have had joint custody for 12 years! We have always had a great relationship. Recently she turned 16 had a 19 year old BF that Father and I didnt promote and had strict rules around. Like he can come to our house until we establish a relationship or build trust. Well daughter just up and moves out in with mother in August 2018 we are still batteling with courts and havent seen her but 3 times in 9 months.
We check SS13's phone sometimes, just to make sure everything is on the up-and-up. If I find anything, I tell my SO. I don't usually find much noteworthy though, so it's not really an issue. This time, I saw a text he had sent Crazy for her bday. "I know I don't always show it but I love you so much and thank you so much for working so hard to provide for us, blah blah blah, I wouldn't want to have any other mom than you".
Back at mommas grungy apartment. All is good now.
After her failed attempts at forging and cashing 3 checks stolen from momeee, she has apologized, admitted that she is an addict (we dont know what...) and they will work together (momeee and Feral Check Forger) to rehabilitate her (how exactly?).
DH, his take on things is "she is still my daughter, and I care that she is not homeless, on the street and/or shacked up with bad people. At least I know shes somewhere safe."
Those were DH words this morning. It is so sad and my heart breaks for him. He has and always will do so much for his boys. One is appreciative and loving and the other is a selfish, ungrateful little punk. How is it possible they were raised the same way in the same home and be so different? I know I know - humans but just WOW!
We actually had the first vacation in 10 years without drama from home. Only calls or texts I received were for birthday and anniversary and after months of no contact I actually got a bday text from SS16. Sent back just a Thx.
Psycho messaged DH this last week. She wants to move summer visitation back a day because: "Well the 16th is father's day, so this way you actually get to see them on that day."
Per the CO, DH gets the girls 8AM to 6PM EVERY Father's day regardless of "who's time" it may fall on. So no Psycho, he gets to see them either way.
Why does she want to change you may ask? She was ordered to do 100% of the transportation. She doesn't get them until the 15th at 6PM and would have to return them to us the next morning by 8AM. So basically, too hard on her, so let's swap dates.
This is not really geared toward Step Parents perse however I know we can all use some assistance & guidance in healing and being more loving and kinder to ourselves. I know we place ourselves on the back burner a lot due to lifes responsibilities and not to mention step life. So I thought this would be helpful for anyone that is interested.