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Recent Blog Posts

How to protect myself

New_to_this's picture

Knowing everything I know about my situation, how do I protect myself and my kids, both mentally and physically.

1) SS17 Can Only Spend Very Limited Time in the Main Rooms with DS5 and DD2 and Only When Adults Are Present.

2) SS No Longer Lives With Us in 1.5 Years Or Less.

3) SS Does Not Get Money For College.

4) I Get Ready to Return to a Career.

5) I Take Control of My Finances.

6) I Prepare to Move to a New City Close to Family.

7) I Prepare to Fight for Primary Physical Custody of My Children.

A cautionary tale

ITB2012's picture

Hello, folks.  I haven't been on much in the last few months. Thought maybe reading everyone else's dilemmas was making me extra sensitive to my step life. Nope. My step life is making me sensitive to my step life. 

And like others who have said not to expect it to get better when the skids are adults, I must add the same warning. 

I mistakenly thought that the intense time together during this pandemic had brought us closer together. Nope. Cue the holidays to prove to me that nothing has changed. 

NSMR...but am I the @sshole here..its my mother

halo1998's picture parents live about an hour away from me out in the middle of BFE...I'm mean they live out in an area where they are surrounded by corn fields.   They moved to this midwest state from the great city of Wind on the lake.  When they moved there they wanted land...glorious land.  I tried to tell them..yea living out in the boonies is fun for about 5 minutes...until you have to have your gas trucked in and drive 30+ minutes to get ANYTHING.  I had BTDT while living in another corn filled midwestern state.

And so it begins....

Ashleytenorio17's picture

I'm home by default right now and DH is doing is photography job right now which I thought was earlier. I saw all my family with out SD11! Thank god! DH took SD with him to run his errands . He left for his photography job a few minutes ago and he said he wouldn't be long since it will be gettibg late soon. I agreed to let him Keep SD here since so far things have been good and he wouldn't be gone late... I'll already annoyed!!!! I'm not sure if SD 11 is jealous of DD 18 months toys or belongings she has here or what but SD has been really extra about the room they share.

Why SD needs to live at BMs

Jcksjj's picture

For a recap: BM flipped out randomly and said DH needs to go to therapy because SD said he doesn't spend enough time with her. And now she can only be here 1 weekend a month (oh darn). 

SDs version of why she wants to be there: our house is boring, she has a better tablet there with more games and a texting app.

I guess letting her do whatever she wants all day just wasn't good enough. Sorry, DH.


SD copying me on everything

Goldish's picture

My SD is 16 and I've been married to DH for 2 years. At the start she was hostile to me and wanted nothing to do with me. Now, although she does not like me much she copies me in every way. She is becoming me. The small face expressions, gestures, talking with my hands, tone, phrases I frequently use, she is changing rapidly and becoming me. It's not just mirroring me, it is literally everything. It is like she is studying me and turning into me. 

Feel like a door matt

Trying2KeepCalm's picture

Il try an summarise my issue.

im step dad. My partner has 4 kids. 
We have been living together for 8 years.

her eldest is 21, who has moved her partner in who is 26 semi-permanently about 18months ago. Eating everything In Sight, leaving mess everywhere they go, using all the towels, filling the kitchen of dirty dishes, and even complaining if there favourite food isn't there.
they are both working, but neither chip in towards household costs. money MonEEEY.....oh Beaver must need money

halo1998's picture

Ah nothing says hello weekend like a message from the Beaver.  **insert eyeroll**


I didn't get to claim GWR last because he aged out at 17.  Therefore, I am claiming SD this year.   You got the first year that GWR wasn't claimed and I get the second year, so this is my year.



MMkkk...there Beaver.  

DH's response

Please provide proof that you didn't claim GWR last since he was 17 and you were/are still receiving child support for him as a dependant.


Beaver's response

Oh and another thing

Jcksjj's picture

DH this morning said he doesn't do anything with SD because I don't let him.

No, I started out including SD in everything. She acted like a psychopath and over time I've put up boundaries to the point that I avoid her as much as possible due to her behavior. DH knows this. But he's so effing weak that as soon as she gets here he gets all emotional and makes me the scapegoat since he can't take it out on her.