You are here

NotYourAverageStepMama's Blog

SD Tonsils Continued

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

So last night we heard back from SD's teacher in regards to asking if SD has complained in school about pain or had trouble eating, etc. SD's teacher's response:

"She has not complained to me about anything. She eats breakfast, lunch, and snack pretty well. She will occasionally ask to have things open f she needs help, but other than that no problems. I will keep a closer eye for anything and let you know if there are any issues that arise."

Hmm... well that is funny because BM claims SD has "constant throat pain" so bad that she "will refuse to eat." 

DH spoke to the doctor

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

So the doctor from yesterday's appointment called DH to discuss SD's visit and tonsils with him. Basically, this doctor recommends SD's tonsils be removed solely on BM's claims of SD having sleep apnea. DH explained to the doctor that these symptoms BM is saying SD has had for years, DH has never witnessed and years ago he had primary custody, then he also had 50/50.

Surprise, Surprise - NOT

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

So DH called the doctor SD saw yesterday and guess what? DH is not listed anywhere on SD's information for not only the ENT specialist, but SD's peditrician either. We were wondering why BM put SD on BM's insurance when DH is supposed to have SD under his. At first we thought to make it easier when she takes SD or her other child to the doctor that they can go to the same doctor rather than finding a doctor in DH's network for SD. However, now I think it is so BM can get away with not listing DH on any of SD's paperwork and it is all under her control. 

A bit of an update on SD's tonsils

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

So for those of you who read the blogs regarding SD and her tonsils, SD had a second opinion appointment today. 

1. BM did not tell us SD had this appointment until we asked BM 

2. BM gave us the date of the appointment, but no time or other information until BM was asked yesterday

3. BM took SD to the appointment and then did not share any information about the appointment until messaged 3 hours after the appointment when BM did not send any information

O/T - vaccine, shooting, and honeymoon

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

Much has happened in the last week and unfortunately things will remain pretty hectic for the foreseeable near future. To go in order, DH and I made an appointment to get our first dose of the vaccine. Now that the Pfizer vaccine has been FDA approved and we are going to try to get pregnant, we decided it was time for us to get the vaccine. The good news besides the obvious is now that we will be vaccinated we are able to do what we wanted to do for our honeymoon. We booked our cruise to Alaska for our honeymoon in the spring 2022!

People who have never had to deal with custody issues

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

So I love my parents very much. They are so supportive and there for not only me, but DH and SD. Counting my extended family, there has only been 1 divorce and custody battle. My dad's brother divorced his ex wife and the BM did not want full custody of their two children, she only wanted to see them when my uncle gave her money to host them at his house. So basically it was a very atypical situation my uncle had full legal and physical custody of both children.

Update to Tonsils

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

So after DH and I spoke and then I spoke to my mom, DH sent a message to BM. He requested a second opinion, medical documentation which shows tonsil/throat issues for an extended period of time, stating the guidelines that are published by reliable medical sources and the american pediatric journals, stating the negative reviews of the doctor especially specifically related to tonsil removal surgery, and saying that at this time he does not agree to surgery without further evidence that this is in the best interest of SD especially during COVID.

Need advice or insight, SD tonsils

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

So if anyone has read my blog from a couple weeks ago might of read about BM's concerns on SD's tonsils. To sum up a long story short BM messaged DH telling him she is concerned about SD's tonsils. That SD has had an ongoing issue for several years, but BM changed SD's doctor because BM did not feel the doctor was taking her seriously on the issue. BM also then relayed that she never once has mentioned this issue to DH because the doctors didn't take her seriously so she did not think it was anything to mention to him.

O/T - Mental Health

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

As everyone knows it is REALLY important to take care of your mental health. I was having issues with mine just over a month ago. As many of you know, we moved cross country in May and besides 3 people (my husband's co-worker, my husband's boss and his wife) I don't know anyone here. At the end of the day that has not been the real issue, but rather the fact we moved to where I know no one, I work virtually from home for my firm still in VA, and with COVID, just makes meeting people to make friends, not easy.

Christmas Break

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

So since we are just over 4 months until Christmas, DH and I started looking into flights for SD to come since it is our year to have SD for Christmas. Since we are continuing to fly SD as an unaccompanied minor we wanted to look ahead as they only allow so many per flight, plus wanted to get a good deal on flight prices. Once we agreed on which days that are within DH's window of his visitation time, we booked SD's flight this morning. We will be getting her for 11 days!