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NotYourAverageStepMama's Blog

Me and my big mouth

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I talk to my mom usually every other day on the phone during the week. Yesterday, I was catching up with my mom and she was asking about SD. I told my mom that we were sending SD a couple Christmas gifts this year since it is the first year we are not going to see SD for Christmas break or a couple weeks before or after. Next thing you know my mom was like, OH! We want to send SD something for Christmas too! So I told her that she could, but to send it to our house and we will send it with what we are sending.

Has anyone ever written a letter to the judge?

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I was wondering if anyone has ever written a letter to the judge who was the judge in their custody case when it is not an open case? Something we have been considering that could be a total waste of time is writing the judge who oversaw the court ordered testing and made a ruling that DH has no legal rights to SD's sister. Finally yesterday we received in the mail the CD court records of the divorce, custody, and paternity case. Of course the CD was broken into three pieces so we emailed back the woman at the court who was sending the records.

Blog Hog - Christmas Gift Dilemma

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Nothing to do with steplife, but I find you all give good advice, can't say ladies because some men on here too, so I am faced with a dilemma. I found this GREAT Christmas gift I want to get my parents this year as a joint gift. It is a digital photo frame that connects to their wifi so other people can send photos to their digital frame and upload to it for them to see. With DH, SD and I so far away, my sister 9 hours away at college, and then half my family lives states away as well, I think it is a great way to stay connected and is more personal then sending pictures in group messages.

O/T - How to handle this situation

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Tomorrow is DH's best friend's birthday and he is basically DH's family. DH doesn't have a relationship with majority of his family because they are toxic so FIL and DH's best friend are basically it. We send Christmas cards to his aunt and uncle too, but that is about all. Anyway, DH told best friend we would take him out to dinner this weekend for his birthday and asked where he would want to go. At first best friend wanted to go to a $ place and we were like okay cool, what time? Then his friend replies and says, nevermind lets go to a $$$ place.

FIL wants to see SD after 5 years

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I have talked about FIL before and DH's relationship with his family. FIL is one of the few people on DH's side we talk to and have a relationship with because DH's family is toxic, even with FIL it is rocky. Last night DH gets a text from his dad asking DH to give him permission to see SD since SD is now back in the state FIL lives in and it has been 5 years since he has seen SD and he would like to see her. He did say he is not interested in talking about the past or having a relationship with anyone other than with his granddaughter.

BM is trying to do the cheapest way and easiest route to

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remove DH's name off the birth certificate now. Today she is claiming she was advised to wait and file for the change in her resident state and in the county the birth certificate is from. Apparently BM didn't follow through on getting everything she was supposed to over 3 years ago so now she needs a judge's signature on more paperwork.

According to BM "it isn't my fault that this paperwork was not correctly completed. Over 2 years ago I ordered specific documents so they were court official. I wasn't told that I needed a specific statement so was led in circles."

Blog Hog - "Mystery bio father" words from BM

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DH messaged BM today after talking to the attorneys from BM's new state and the state this case was filed in. DH brought up how the adoption route isn't exactly possible with DH on the birth certificate unless she knew who the bio dad actually was and then would be able to go that route to remove DH and change the child's name. At this point for us it looks like the best option is to get this written CO from the VA court and file contempt for BM not following through with the judge's order. We can do it ourselves, but would be best probably using an attorney.

BM still has not removed DH off birth certificate or changed name

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It has been over 3 years now since the CO DNA test results came in and the judge removed DH's rights to BM's older child. BM has had a variety of excuses and two months ago it was because BM's DH was going to adopt her child and she didn't want to change the name twice.

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