DH loves his DD15 and I love DH. He thinks she is wonderful in every way and I think we all feel that about about our own kids to an extent. I try to see her as he sees her. I seek out the positive traits in her and then hold onto them - sometimes desperately. She is very intelligent. She gets good grades and makes a natural leader. She is quick to defend those who are intellectually disadvantaged from being bullied. She is athletic and good at basketball. She supports her teammates and motivates them to do their best.
"You not the boss, your just bossy" her dad would say with a laugh. This would be his response to his daughter when she was 5 years old and standing there with her hands balled into fists at her sides, legs planted together tight and very straight to the ground, her eyes squeezed to mere slits, and her lips pressed tightly together as she threw her tantrum. He would laugh some more and then attend to her to make sure she got what she was wanting. That is unless she had claimed someone had treated her unfairly and in that case he wouldn't laugh.
Okay, so maybe I am being a little harsh or over reacting, but, sometimes I feel like my SD is trying to drive a wedge between me and my spouse, its like my SD wants to bicker with me and wants to make me out to be the bad guy, over little things too! I really think its a phase because she hasn't been like this until the last few months. Maybe? I don't know. Help?
So we went to counseling and it helped to be heard.
The psychologist suggested I read up on borderline disorder in regards to SD11. She has signs of a budding personality disorder due to the emotional trauma her AM has put her through since adopting her. I could absoultely see a personality disorder developing. We'll see what happens there. At least I have the direction of a professional.
SD11's last cheer competition was today. HURRAY! Goodbye ridiculous monthly cost. And then, whenever-the-heck costs for whatever-the-heck. I am not paying for next season.
Did SD11 thank me once for enrolling her in competitive cheer? Did she thank me once for the ongoing payments I made so that she could finish out the season? Nope. Not once.
So... I am home alone with SD11 and my baby ds. DH is at work. SD11 used to follow me everywhere talking or repeating things I have said. ((, outside with the dog, on a walk with the baby, into my bedroom, closet., laundry room, etc.)) She said hello and made a few complimentary comments about the baby’s new toy and a very general statement about how school is almost over. Then she helped me shut some windows and I said thank you. As I took the baby to the front door to go outside, she tugged my shirt down over my lovehandles; I said, “I’m ok.
I met my DH 9 years ago and we got married a couple years later. He has 2 daughters who are now 17 and 16 and I have 2 bios who are 17 and 15. I know, 4 teenagers right!!! I believe at first my dh and I were naive in that we thought we could blend a family. I did not know what I was up against as far as BM went at all. She was unmedicated with huge mental health issues, had disowned a teenage son from another marriage, and a completely horrible person.
I have a SD13 who has been tempermental from the start. She has done everything in her power to try to get me to leave her dad, beginning at age 10.