I often wake up with thoughts of sincere sympathy for my SD13. I worry for her future, for her development as a human being in a world that (mostly) values honesty and individuality. I imagine her future will be riddled with emotional blowups and lost friends. Or it will be some elaborate scheme where she is just like BM, absolutely hollow and at the “top” of her imaginary world.
Well today is the second day in that LONG Christmas 1/2 break I’m sure many of you are feeling with your skids.
When sd13 got here yesterday, DH asked her to apologize to me again for her theft and for the things she said to me. To which I responsed, “Ok. Thank you for your apology.” I don’t believe she is sorry. I believe she knows she is stuck here for 5 days and so she is acting right to prevent any discomfort.
counseling felt like a waste of time and money.
I like being disengaged from SD13. I like being polite and relaxed. I am able to be that way because I am emotionally disengaged from this child who steals from me.
well counseling was today.
Generally disappointing as the counselor seems to have bought into BM’s sad sad nonsense. Hopefully I am mistaken.
**sucking down a beer as I type-**
I couldn’t find a pair of earrings. I really thought SD13 had stolen them. I asked. She of course said “No.” I brought up (finally!) the stolen jewelry. I asked where it was.
“In that drawer” and she pointed.
“Try again,” I said.
“In my closet,” she answered.
”No, it isn’t in your closet. Because I found it and took it back. You just lied to me. You stole my jewelry, hid it for months and then just lied to me.”
So I’ve been thinking about how SD13 lied to CPS and said her dad physically abused her.
I imagine someday in the future she will report to BM that I am abusive or neglectful in some way to DS. If this happens, I think I will simply say this to SD13,
“You lied about how well I take care of DS. Because you lied about me, you don’t get to be around us as much. So we’ll see you on holidays and that’s it.”
Or not say anything at all except screw you for lying, and then basically disappear out of the house whenever she is here.
SD13 barely says an original thought during her two weekend visits a month at our house. She barely says anything at all. And it is wonderful.
It is like I don’t even have a SD anymore. That’s DH’s daughter, and that’s it. DS is referred to as “her little brother”, but I’m not even worried anymore about her being a bad influence because my DS is smart and I’m wise to who SS13 is slowly becoming.
I don’t go to her extracurriculars (what few there are).
I don’t make much conversation beyond polite small talk.
SD13 has stolen and squirrelled away my jewelry, and as of late, my ID card for a government service. For months, my jewelry was missing. The ID card ended up at her mom’s by some miraculous on-purpose circumstance, so her overjoyed mom got to email DH and ask if it was ours. (Of course it is ours, you soulless twat.)
Before you all are like, “DH should handle this!” know that I agree with you and that DH and I are on our way to see a counselor to get him to STEP IT UP. Lol
I may have hurt DH’s feelings, but the words poured out, the question, “Has anyone ever loved your children enough to tell then the truth?”
The truth about their behavior, about their mother’s lack of a conscience?
So SD13 chose to live with mom FT and she is only here EOW. It really hurt her dad’s, my DH’s feelings but it has been a huge step for us in convenience and privacy.
I really love the change.