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SD13 Is Less And Less Little Girl I Used To Know

Forthelifeoftheparty's picture

How many of you who had your skid around when they were younger, but now only have them EOW or just holidays, feel a tinge of sadness when you see how much the child continues to grow into a mini version of BM? 

I do. At least today I do. 

I’m not really talking about PAS. I’m talking about that potential to be a self-confident, creative individual being snuffed out by BM’s unending influence.

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the targeting continues

amyburemt's picture

  My sd who went to live with her biohag is STILL verbally targeting me. She emails my dh, calling me YOUR WIFE, talking about how horrible I am etc etc. She is turning 18, she is the one who left our home and ran to bm's and is now working at mcdonalds having to help bm pay her bills. My dh tries not to show  me these emails, but it's hard not to see it when he's in bed next to you going through his email. This girl, (even though she is now 18 i will use the word girl because she has the mentality of a 14 year old) from day 1 was a living nightmare.

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13 yo in Victorias Secret Bras

Forthelifeoftheparty's picture

Is 13 a little young to shop for bras at Victoria’s Secret?

BM takes SD13 there. She always dresses SD13 in “name brand” clothes. I understand wanting your child to have the best. I was treated to “name brand” clothes too when I was yoong. So I know it can be important to wear “the right thing” in middle school. 

But no one sees your bra. And VS isn’t exactly a “body positive” place for the adolescent mind.

 

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A Big Rant

morrginme's picture

Me? Mean?

I'm unreasonable. I'm not fair. I'm always causing problems. I'm abusive. I hurt confidence and crush self-esteem. I only have negative things to say. I like to point out flaws and laugh at mistakes. I'm lazy and use all the money on myself. I brainwash my spouse and favor my own child. 

Why not take it a bit further. What's an evil stepmom really like? At first it's difficult to imagine myself as mean stepmom because I'm not one, but luckily I have a very vivid imagination. 

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Counseling Continues

Forthelifeoftheparty's picture

Went to counseling. With DH. Let DH lead. We were united. 

I am shocked to say I felt counseling was worthwhile. 

I do not believe SD13 is telling the counselor much beyond what her mother dearest has instructed her to say or carefully put into her head over months of manipulation. Nonetheless, I did get some tips on how to maintain my cool when dealing with a stone-faced adolescent who spies on me and craps on my kindness in a way that is so quiet, it can barely be addressed.

 

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CS-Free Island, Ten Years’ Journey Away

Forthelifeoftheparty's picture

Ten years.  It will be 10 years before the financial responsibilities my DH has to SD will be overwith.  Until then it will be court every year with the ex-wife who will try and claim that DH  should pay her more money. 

 To me it is like paying for a car that you wrecked as soon as you drove away from the car dealership. It is beyond frustrating because you know that the money is going to support poor parenting and an attitude of entitlement.  Not to mention all of the lies attached. 

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How Do I Stop These Thoughts?

Forthelifeoftheparty's picture

I often wake up with thoughts of sincere sympathy for my SD13. I worry for her future, for her development as a human being in a world that (mostly) values honesty and individuality. I imagine her future will be riddled with emotional blowups and lost friends. Or it will be some elaborate scheme where she is just like BM, absolutely hollow and at the “top” of her imaginary world.

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Emotional Goals For Today

Forthelifeoftheparty's picture

Well today is the second day in that LONG Christmas 1/2 break I’m sure many of you are feeling with your skids. 

When sd13 got here yesterday, DH asked her to apologize to me again for her theft and for the things she said to me. To which I responsed, “Ok. Thank you for your apology.” I don’t believe she is sorry. I believe she knows she is stuck here for 5 days and so she is acting right to prevent any discomfort.

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