I have blogged before about my SD12 who is not happy in our house. We are a blended family living together for 4 years now and it is us, newly married this July, my SS17, my two sons 16 & 12 and my SD12 we have the kids 50% time all together. My SD12 is codependent on BM, and I have tried everything to connect with her, but she is miserable when she is with us.
A week ago, I mentioned MR.
Things have been going pretty good around the house, but last night we ended up addressing the 'elephant in the room'. There's so much more to the evening, but I won't hash it all out here. I've been processing it all this morning and looking to Brene Brown for a bit of clarity and inspiration.
“It’s not about ‘what can I accomplish?’ but ‘what do I want to accomplish?’ Paradigm shift.”
~ Brene Brown
It's the Monday after visitation weekend and time to decompress! SS11 (SS10 had a birthday) and SS15 were here for the weekend and it was actually pretty darn good. For the first time ever, SS11 asked MR.
It's Monday, so I thought a little venting and processing might do my week ahead some good! Though far from perfect, I would say the past few days have still been on the upswing around this house. Yay! While I've been working on disengaging, MR.
The tide may be turning, dear friends. For the first time in almost 6 years, I feel like MR. ED is finally tired of his DDs walking all over him. SD17 is feeling the consequences of her actions and it ain't pretty. There is hope after all!
I knew something big was coming with SD17 (SD16...she had a birthday) and so did many of you STalkers following my blog posts. If you called it....consider this story an affirmation of your perceptive awesomeness and ability to stop BS in it's tracks. If you didn't see it coming and are still giving your self-destructive teens the benefit of the doubt...well, let this be a cautionary tale! If you don't have time or energy to read this long post in its entirety, jump to the bottom for the MORAL OF THE STORY.
Here we go...
You decide one morning you are finally going to start meditating. You make yourself some calming tea, light your new lavender candle, find some yoga music to stream, and head to your fluffy rug with a comfy cushion in hand. All set. Let's do this. With your eyes gently closed, you start focusing on your breathing, and think, "Ah...this is niiiice. I'm so glad I'm finally doing this."
Last night I once again found myself cuddled up under my favorite comforter Googling "Running Away as an Adult". I have no immediate plans to "run away" from my life, however, I did decide to work harder toward creating a life I actually love and therefore simultaneously prepare myself for a future on my own if that day ever comes.
So, yesterday I worked really hard to disengage from the SD16 drama and her first day back to HS. I ended up having an awesome day working, cooking (which I actually find enjoyable), and even found a little time for MR. ED and I to run errands together while enjoying an open air jeep ride. Good stuff.