Disengagement: Giant Spiders Happen
You decide one morning you are finally going to start meditating. You make yourself some calming tea, light your new lavender candle, find some yoga music to stream, and head to your fluffy rug with a comfy cushion in hand. All set. Let's do this. With your eyes gently closed, you start focusing on your breathing, and think, "Ah...this is niiiice. I'm so glad I'm finally doing this."
Then your mind starts to wander and random thoughts start encroaching on your new-found meditative bliss, "What should I make for dinner? Oops...Let it pass. Breathe....Breathe..."
You notice a dog barking loudly outside, "Oh, my goodness seriously? I'm glad my dog isn't a barker. My dog...crap, I forgot to give him his medicine! Oops...Let it pass. Breathe...Breathe."
Just when you feel like you're getting the hang of observing distracting thoughts but letting them pass...
You absolutely cannot ignore the GIANT SPIDER crawling across your leg, you jump up screaming, spill your tea all over your fluffy white rug, your dog barks uncontrollably, and you completely lose your $h!+. Oops. You think for a moment that all possibility of peace is lost, but then...
You remember to breathe. You smell that lovely lavender candle still filling the air around you. You breathe. Then you forgive yourself for simply being a beautiful human work in progress and you mentally commit to trying again the next morning.
Learning to disengage has felt a lot like learning to meditate. These past few days, I've become aware of how untamed my reactions have been to SKID chaos and just how much I've taken upon myself that I really CAN let go. I am trying so hard to "observe...breath...and let it pass" when ridiculousness that I cannot control flows through this house. There are those "giant spiders" that still catch me off guard, but I'm starting to see them coming in the distance and prepare MYSELF. Oh, my word... it's hard, isn't it?
If you have been through, are going through, or need to start disengaging from a toxic SKID scenario...please give yourself a hug! Either you deserve it or you are going to need it! Take good care of yourselves this week STalkers! <3
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