Anyone have one SK that doesn’t live w u the same % time as others?
I have blogged before about my SD12 who is not happy in our house. We are a blended family living together for 4 years now and it is us, newly married this July, my SS17, my two sons 16 & 12 and my SD12 we have the kids 50% time all together. My SD12 is codependent on BM, and I have tried everything to connect with her, but she is miserable when she is with us. As I write this she has been here since school got out after 5 days w her BM and she didn't come down to dinner because she was weepy and had anxiety over the transition (she's been with us for 3 hours tops) since leaving BMs.
this has been going on now for a while ever since she entered preteen land and I sense she is going to want to go live with her BM more any day now. Especially when her brother goes off to college next year. Her BM lives about 10 mins from us, alone, and seemingly never has anything to do but communicate with my SD via text when she's with us.
My question is this-- if this child, who is putting her Dad through anguish regularly over her seemingly not wanting to be in his new household. The other kids treat her fine-- they all get along fine, albeit they're boys. IF she decides to leave to go be with her BM more (breaking her Dads heart) where do we draw the line on what she gets to join us for and what she gets to be a part of? I ask because we have more means than her BM and we do more fun stuff...and SD12 seems to like the perks of that part of our household. Do we let her come on our family trips to Cancun when she doesn't want to live with us on a plain old Tuesday? I feel horrible for thinking this way but she is hurting him so much and making me feel horribly guilty (I never wanted to cause him to lose his child!), by seemingly being so miserable when she's with us. I think it's unwarranted and it comes from her codependency on BM who has no rules (she basically rules the roost as her BMs copilot when there) vs. our house that's more like a real family with a husband and wife. Does she get to have her cake an eat it too? Come to xmas dinner to pick up her gifted Uggs and then take off?