Last week before the skids went back to their mom’s they told us that they were going on a mini vacation with their grandmother (BMs mom). They had casually mentioned it a while back but there were no solid plans. Then literally hours before walking out the door for a long weekend with their BM (we swapped some days so we weren’t going to see them for 5 days) they say “Oh, by the way, our vacation with grandma is Sunday through Wednesday.” Monday and Tuesday were supposed to be our days. Nobody even mentioned this or offered to trade.
Things have been going pretty good around the house, but last night we ended up addressing the 'elephant in the room'. There's so much more to the evening, but I won't hash it all out here. I've been processing it all this morning and looking to Brene Brown for a bit of clarity and inspiration.
“It’s not about ‘what can I accomplish?’ but ‘what do I want to accomplish?’ Paradigm shift.”
~ Brene Brown
It's the Monday after visitation weekend and time to decompress! SS11 (SS10 had a birthday) and SS15 were here for the weekend and it was actually pretty darn good. For the first time ever, SS11 asked MR.
The bitch asked for more money again. She made a financial decision without us and expects us to just “pay our half”. Same shit, different day.
It's Monday, so I thought a little venting and processing might do my week ahead some good! Though far from perfect, I would say the past few days have still been on the upswing around this house. Yay! While I've been working on disengaging, MR.
The tide may be turning, dear friends. For the first time in almost 6 years, I feel like MR. ED is finally tired of his DDs walking all over him. SD17 is feeling the consequences of her actions and it ain't pretty. There is hope after all!
I knew something big was coming with SD17 (SD16...she had a birthday) and so did many of you STalkers following my blog posts. If you called it....consider this story an affirmation of your perceptive awesomeness and ability to stop BS in it's tracks. If you didn't see it coming and are still giving your self-destructive teens the benefit of the doubt...well, let this be a cautionary tale! If you don't have time or energy to read this long post in its entirety, jump to the bottom for the MORAL OF THE STORY.
Here we go...
So, yesterday I worked really hard to disengage from the SD16 drama and her first day back to HS. I ended up having an awesome day working, cooking (which I actually find enjoyable), and even found a little time for MR. ED and I to run errands together while enjoying an open air jeep ride. Good stuff.
I have been venting a lot since I started blogging on ST and naturally much of it is negative. On a positive note, I've also been reading A LOT of what you fine folks have to say and with your help, have been learning more about disengaging. Well, SD16 (the only one at home f/t) started back to school this morning and although I have had a couple of hiccups, I feel MUCH less stress having ramped up the disengagement. This is hard for me because I was admittedly a Mama Bear to my BS during his school years, I've been responsible for helping get SKIDS (particularly the girls) ready for the
I'm writing two separate blogs today because I need to vent about 2 separate dramas playing out. Oh, and SO will forevermore be referred to as "MR. ED". He's like a good horse living in a shed with blinders on away from the reality of SKIDS behavior!