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Circling the Drain

StepUltimate's picture

Update from my previous "Full Circle" blog:

https://www.steptalk.org/blog/stepultimate/full-circle-271039

STBXH was served this week, and went from acceptance to cold & butt-hurt, arguing against divorce (=my reasons are not legitimate!), trying to get me to change my mind & continue "working on" our marriage. 

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Filed.

StepUltimate's picture

Update to previous blog here:

https://www.steptalk.org/blog/stepultimate/stbx-update-270954

Filed today. 5.5 years married. STBXH moves to his new apt tomorrow, unclear when his crying, begging, blaming, and "I just don't understand!" will end. It's exhausting.

Tough day, but bright future not living with conflict & financial insanity. Whatever the co$t is, it's the price of freedom. 

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SO RELIEVED!

StepUltimate's picture

STBXH (1st time typing that) is now clear I am done. It went better than I could have asked, and now my worst fear is behind me. I clearly, peacefully, and thoroughly said everything I needed to say, and he didn't get angry or arguementative.

Deep down he knew. I am relieved he is being respectful, and that he owned his part & totally shifted gears to acceptance. 

 

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Ready to call it quits

Childless male's picture

Ever since SO and I met, I showed absolutely no interest in SD8 (5 at the time). I had never been married and have no kids. SO was married for 7 years and had her daughter. When we first met and SO and I would hang out whenever possible without SD since BD would take care of SD on Wednesdays which were the visit days. It never came out of me to take SD out with us anywhere. I would try to avoid SD as much as possible.

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Almost 3yrs and I have had enough

Notsosilent5262's picture

Through all the silent treatments with unresolved issues and no communication.  I think i am ready to call it quits. I am sleeping in my daughters room right now because my step son and husband choose to ignore me like im just this stranger now.  My husband has been snooping in my phone ( i keep it unlocked because i know he would feel like i am keeping him from something) and found out that i have been talking to my ex.  He is married and he had texted me for a referral.

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What do I do?!

Alapheria's picture

In my past 2 blogs, I've explain most of the crap I deal with with my DH, SDs and their BM. A few people have told me to leave because the situation I'm in is toxic for me and my son (my bio son with DH). I know I'll feel guilt for leaving SDs and I'll be heartbroken from all the love and effort I've put into raising them as my own. And I love my DH very much.

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What do I do?!

Alapheria's picture

In my past 2 blogs, I've explain most of the crap I deal with with my DH, SDs and their BM. A few people have told me to leave because the situation I'm in is toxic for me and my son (my bio son with DH). I know I'll feel guilt for leaving SDs and I'll be heartbroken from all the love and effort I've put into raising them as my own. And I love my DH very much.

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To quote StarLord - It's worse. It's so much worse.

blessedwithstress's picture

BOTH skids made homecoming court. SS16 is going to be a junior representative.

FML.

And now DH is p*ssed at ME for being p*ssed at the situation. He is asking for counseling. He said 'I refuse to do to the littles what I did with the bigs. Take that as a threat if you want but I REFUSE.' Meaning - he refuses to lose time with the little boys by being separated from them via divorce. 

DH can't understand why I harbor resentment toward the skids. "You've known them since they were little! I don't understand how you cannot be attached to them! It doesn't make sense!"

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Exercise in communication made things worse…waaaaaay worse

blessedwithstress's picture

Well THAT went over like a whore in church. We met with BM and all of the discussion related to the birthday party went off without a hitch.

Then I decided it was time to defend my household and call BM out on her bullsh*t.

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