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StepUltimate's Blog

Circling the Drain

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Update from my previous "Full Circle" blog:

https://www.steptalk.org/blog/stepultimate/full-circle-271039

STBXH was served this week, and went from acceptance to cold & butt-hurt, arguing against divorce (=my reasons are not legitimate!), trying to get me to change my mind & continue "working on" our marriage. 

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Filed.

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Update to previous blog here:

https://www.steptalk.org/blog/stepultimate/stbx-update-270954

Filed today. 5.5 years married. STBXH moves to his new apt tomorrow, unclear when his crying, begging, blaming, and "I just don't understand!" will end. It's exhausting.

Tough day, but bright future not living with conflict & financial insanity. Whatever the co$t is, it's the price of freedom. 

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STBX Update

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STBXH has received advice from a "bro" to get an attorney & file 1st so he can juice my retirement. But I could make all this go away if I'd just stay with him & try to work it out. We could buy a house together. 

That b.s. had me going, "He just f*cking jumped the shark." 

There was more, but it was in general interesting to see him rotate through the playbook while observing his casting himself as the victim. From mamy different angles. 

It sucks so. Much. Energy.

No more enduring skid holidays in my future. 

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SO RELIEVED!

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STBXH (1st time typing that) is now clear I am done. It went better than I could have asked, and now my worst fear is behind me. I clearly, peacefully, and thoroughly said everything I needed to say, and he didn't get angry or arguementative.

Deep down he knew. I am relieved he is being respectful, and that he owned his part & totally shifted gears to acceptance. 

 

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Separated & appreciating...

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...  peace & calm, as DH agreed to move out temporarily. No mantrums, love-bombing, or daily infomercials on newly-purchased expensive stuff (specific outdoor/sport activity equipment & gear, think REI on steroids). No anxiety counting down until DH comes home, because he's not here. Rented a place from his friend, temporary but at least he's gone. 

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DH to Move Out

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Those of you who have read my blogs & forum posts know my DH is a bit of a piece of work. Without detailing (=exhausted & it's after 11:00pm), after an escalation and DH seeking counsel of some true-blue Friends in the best sense of the word, he is going to find a place to move to & "take a break" because it's best for me. 

These friends, some of the few people on the planet DH respects (I do too, dear friends), told DH he needs to move out and give me a break.

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Tone Deaf, Continued

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Yesterday, 24 hours after our most recent marriage counseling (MC) session where he teared up telling the MC how much he loves me, how he would give anything to win my heart back, and how he would do anything for me - DH rudely sniped at me... in a store where he was looking for parts for his latest obsession (=not as expensive as the midlife crisis extravaganza, but outdoors/ backpacking/ survival hobby/SHTF prep with hi-end REI-type purchases).

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Dreamt Last Night...

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.. okay technically it was this morning. I had a dream me & DH were at some gathering of friends at a public venue, and DH got really mad at me & was raging at me. A police officer heard, came over, and DH was even angrier as he got taken away (arrested?), blaming me.

After he was gone, I felt ashamed & guilty. But the other people who were there & had witnessed the whole scene all told me it wasn't my fault... and I felt so relieved. 

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