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Struggling to Step-parent his five kids and my biological son

Megantron22's picture

I hope that I can obtain some useful tips because I do not know what else to do. My future marriage depends on a solution. My fiance and I have been together over 5 years. We are both divorced, he has five children from his previous marriage and I have one. He is 40 years old and I am 30. His children are 18m, 16f, 14f, 9f twins and my son is 6. I have an extensive background in child development, it is actually my profession. He is in IT. His ex-wife after 15 years of marraige decided she was gay and has remarried.

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Skids for Christmas and New Years

LosingHerShit's picture

So my DH gets home on the 23rd of December around 7pm. Of course we'll be getting monster and princess the next day because he hasn't seen them in a while. He agreed to take them for 8 days and didn't tell me. Now I understand that it's been a while and he wants to see them, but I can't stand the way that he doesn't talk to me about anything!! We were supposed to go out and get a motel room for new years eve (no kids) and spend a nice night in the quiet together and now we'll have skids instead.

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Progress and Demands

LosingHerShit's picture

     So Dh finally received my letter in regards to putting my foot down in being stuck with BMs kid dumping. He told me that he will tell her that we will no longer be taking monster and princess when it is not our days!!! I feel like a weight has been lifted!! He also said he will no longer leave me with all the kids by myself because I am not his babysitter!!! But that he wants me to "feel" like a stepmother? I could literally scream with happiness and only wish I had the balls to have made my demands sooner! Following is my response I wrote to him. Do you guys think it's acceptable?

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I hate being a (step)parent.

StepMomandOverIt's picture

I never particularly wanted kids, but I also wasn't opposed to the concept if the timing/partner/circumstance felt right. I married my husband 3 years ago, and he has 3 kids: SD23, SS21, SD16. Within 6 months of our marriage, BM of the oldest two commmitted suicide. I met them for the first time when we flew into town the 12hrs later. It was utter chaos with gun-toting, car-stealing, hoard-cleaning, funeral-planning madness all around. When we made it through and home 2 weeks later (if that's what you can even call it...

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Having a SD is way harder than I thought

Mommiedearest66's picture

My fiancé and I have been together three years now, we met at work and started as a fling, I was 21 when we first met. Then as time went on he saw I was pretty decent with his daughter, I honestly blame that on the fact I have 14 nieces I had to help raise, so yeah I’m okay with kids but after so long I lost traction. When we became serious I just sort of froze up and became my mother with better skin tone. I find myself always mad.

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Feeling Stuck

ChrissySmile82's picture

I'm brand new to forums and I've been with my fiancé for almost 2 1/2 years. We're both usually on the same page when it comes to ss3 and we never get nasty with eachother, only typical couple bickering here and there. It's honestly the healthiest relationship that I have ever been in. This post is going to be quite long but it explains everything from me entering this new life to present day so that you get the jist of how BM is.

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Am I a horrible person ?

Mummyinneed's picture

A very long story short ...... my partner of 8 years has full custody of his 9 year old son, the son lives with his nan (partners mother) and she has brang him up. When I say brang him up I mean we aren’t allowed a say in his life, she has completely controlled everything !! Now she is completely attached as if he was her own and same for the boy. Anyway.... we have him whenever we can weekends and holidays, this boy has EVERYTHING he wants, he is VERY spoilt! 

We also have a nearly 5 year old boy together and I’m also currently pregnant and expecting a girl! 

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advice needed

Youngstepmom788's picture

My boyfriends daughter (15) is going to be living with her father full time because her mother is moving to England with her husband and they both decided it is best if she stayed and finished high school here. I haven't bonded with her yet but she's only been respectful and well mannered so I'm not worried about bickering or arguing with her. I don't live with my boyfriend but he had told me (before we knew his BM was relocating) that he wanted me to move in with him. I was really excited and happy because he's the love of my life and I really wanted to be a family under one roof.

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