What general advice do you have for separating yourself from that feeling of wanting to right all the wrongs of the seriously dysfunctional BM/BD? I know its especially difficult if you are/were a conscientious parent with your own biokids.
Ohh where do I begin. Lol. This may be really long!
Nothing has really changed since my last post. SD goes back and forth from being sweet to being a turd. DH and I haven’t gone over our expectations with her still but she also hasn’t been with us much. She spent her 2 week Winter break with BM and has been a Negative Nancy since. Even to the point that DH has mentioned it to her and doesn’t enjoy being with her when she’s like that.
I hope that I can obtain some useful tips because I do not know what else to do. My future marriage depends on a solution. My fiance and I have been together over 5 years. We are both divorced, he has five children from his previous marriage and I have one. He is 40 years old and I am 30. His children are 18m, 16f, 14f, 9f twins and my son is 6. I have an extensive background in child development, it is actually my profession. He is in IT. His ex-wife after 15 years of marraige decided she was gay and has remarried.
So my DH gets home on the 23rd of December around 7pm. Of course we'll be getting monster and princess the next day because he hasn't seen them in a while. He agreed to take them for 8 days and didn't tell me. Now I understand that it's been a while and he wants to see them, but I can't stand the way that he doesn't talk to me about anything!! We were supposed to go out and get a motel room for new years eve (no kids) and spend a nice night in the quiet together and now we'll have skids instead.
So Dh finally received my letter in regards to putting my foot down in being stuck with BMs kid dumping. He told me that he will tell her that we will no longer be taking monster and princess when it is not our days!!! I feel like a weight has been lifted!! He also said he will no longer leave me with all the kids by myself because I am not his babysitter!!! But that he wants me to "feel" like a stepmother? I could literally scream with happiness and only wish I had the balls to have made my demands sooner! Following is my response I wrote to him. Do you guys think it's acceptable?
I never particularly wanted kids, but I also wasn't opposed to the concept if the timing/partner/circumstance felt right. I married my husband 3 years ago, and he has 3 kids: SD23, SS21, SD16. Within 6 months of our marriage, BM of the oldest two commmitted suicide. I met them for the first time when we flew into town the 12hrs later. It was utter chaos with gun-toting, car-stealing, hoard-cleaning, funeral-planning madness all around. When we made it through and home 2 weeks later (if that's what you can even call it...
My fiancé and I have been together three years now, we met at work and started as a fling, I was 21 when we first met. Then as time went on he saw I was pretty decent with his daughter, I honestly blame that on the fact I have 14 nieces I had to help raise, so yeah I’m okay with kids but after so long I lost traction. When we became serious I just sort of froze up and became my mother with better skin tone. I find myself always mad.
I'm brand new to forums and I've been with my fiancé for almost 2 1/2 years. We're both usually on the same page when it comes to ss3 and we never get nasty with eachother, only typical couple bickering here and there. It's honestly the healthiest relationship that I have ever been in. This post is going to be quite long but it explains everything from me entering this new life to present day so that you get the jist of how BM is.
Myself and my husband are currently going through court to keep my stepdaughter with us. She has lived with us since May this year.