Wow! I wasn't expecting to get so much feedback so soon! Before I go down the route of explaining my background, I'd just like to clarify a few things. Thank you for pointing out that "coexisting" was probably the wrong term to use, but in the future I'll explain situations where them being near one another may be important. Secondly, I was never married to my ex. We had a child together, that's it. Other than being the mother of my son, she holds no value to me. So when I say wife, she's my 1st and only wife.
Hey guys. I'm new here and I'm not a Step parent. However, my wife is and she's the main reason I joined this page. She's constantly saying I don't understand how she feels, and she's right. I'm hoping that I can get some insight to what she's going through and how to handle these situations in the kindest yet most fair ways possible. It's hard being a parent to children from different women with two completely different parenting styles. And when my wife and ex can't coexist, that's even harder.
I'm brand new to forums and I've been with my fiancé for almost 2 1/2 years. We're both usually on the same page when it comes to ss3 and we never get nasty with eachother, only typical couple bickering here and there. It's honestly the healthiest relationship that I have ever been in. This post is going to be quite long but it explains everything from me entering this new life to present day so that you get the jist of how BM is.
This is a complex one.
But, the fundamentals are that my partner, that I love so, so much, occasionally gets overwhelming guilt. His children are 6 and 9. The 9 year old misses her mum when spending longer stretches of time with dad (my partner). She cries, and is sometimes inconsolable, despite my partner being the most wonderful dad.
He initiated the split with the children’s mum. She did not want to split, but he was incredibly unhappy.
Well - I am SO glad I came across this site. I have felt AWFUL the past year or so dealing with the feelings I have towards my SS10. My DH and I have been together about 5 years, married almost 3. I have a BD16 and it took her awhile to adjust to the situation. At first I spoiled my SS. We had a really great relationship. My DH would have him when he wasn't working. Then after awhile he changed jobs which allowed him to have SS more. I was always for it. I even helped/pushed him to get 50/50. The BM is a piece of work.