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Am I crazy to expect the adult stepchildren to help when they live here!

Gonecrazy1's picture

This is my first post and I am at my witts end! A little background I have a daughter from my previous marriage she lives with my new husband and I and his 2 adult children one is 26 the other turning 21. I moved into his home 6 hours away from my home, he does everything for everyone but especially for his adult kids, when we first got married his daughter (19 at the time) would text him in the middle of the night to "bring her a glass of water" he would actually do it! She hates me and I can honestly say I don't feel much differently about her.


It’s just all too much. I feel like a babysitter.

Livery's picture

Haven't been on here in a while. After my last post, I took some time with my family and actually ended up on a break with my boyfriend for about a month. We decided to try again. Majority of the issues were pretty much resolved, I just had to implement some boundaries. But here we are again. For those who don't know: Been with my boyfriend a little over a year, I relocated about 6 hours away for him, his son is 2 years old and he has 50/50 week custody. 


Child Supprt Concerns

Chance3312's picture

Is there a way I can find out what my son's mother is using my child support payments for? She doesn't work. She's gets about $500 in food stamps a month, she lives with her parents and doesn't pay rent. Her husband is currently in Federal Prison, and about $140,000 was released to her when he was first incarcerated. Plus, I pay her about $600 in child support every month and our son is on my insurance so he gets free healthcare.


Would you?

lovetoteach's picture

Some times I wonder if I could go back in time and decide to not move forward in a serious relationship w a man who shares a child w another woman, would I? I was only 22 at the time.. but our chemistry was so palpable it was a whirlwind first month of dating. Love came quickly and easily. I had no idea what was in my (4yr) future, didn't have online resources for help, certainly had no friends w experiences. 


Thanks for the Welcome!

Chance3312's picture

Wow! I wasn't expecting to get so much feedback so soon! Before I go down the route of explaining my background, I'd just like to clarify a few things. Thank you for pointing out that "coexisting" was probably the wrong term to use, but in the future  I'll explain situations where them being near one another may be important. Secondly, I was never married to my ex. We had a child together, that's it. Other than being the mother of my son, she holds no value to me. So when I say wife, she's my 1st and only wife.


New here/Not a Step Parent

Chance3312's picture

Hey guys. I'm new here and I'm not a Step parent. However, my wife is and she's the main reason I joined this page. She's constantly saying I don't understand how she feels, and she's right. I'm hoping that I can get some insight to what she's going through and how to handle these situations in the kindest yet most fair ways possible. It's hard being a parent to children from different women with two completely different parenting styles. And when my wife and ex can't coexist, that's even harder.


Feeling Stuck

ChrissySmile82's picture

I'm brand new to forums and I've been with my fiancé for almost 2 1/2 years. We're both usually on the same page when it comes to ss3 and we never get nasty with eachother, only typical couple bickering here and there. It's honestly the healthiest relationship that I have ever been in. This post is going to be quite long but it explains everything from me entering this new life to present day so that you get the jist of how BM is.



Arorah77's picture

This is a complex one. 

But, the fundamentals are that my partner, that I love so, so much, occasionally gets overwhelming guilt. His children are 6 and 9. The 9 year old misses her mum when spending longer stretches of time with dad (my partner). She cries, and is sometimes inconsolable, despite my partner being the most wonderful dad. 

He initiated the split with the children’s mum. She did not want to split, but he was incredibly unhappy.


New here & Mixed emotions. How do I feel better?

FedupAJ's picture

Well - I am SO glad I came across this site. I have felt AWFUL the past year or so dealing with the feelings I have towards my SS10.  My DH and I have been together about 5 years, married almost 3.  I have a BD16 and it took her awhile to adjust to the situation.  At first I spoiled my SS.  We had a really great relationship.  My DH would have him when he wasn't working.  Then after awhile he changed jobs which allowed him to have SS more. I was always for it.  I even helped/pushed him to get 50/50.  The BM is a piece of work.