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StepTalk changed my life.

GirlfriendMom's picture

Walking in at 22 to be a SM to a 7 year old, I had no idea what a mess that I had gotten myself into. I was miserable. I had put myself back in therapy... But what really changed my life was the advice from this website for the last year or so.

- SD sleeps in her own bed consistently now and does not get up unless she is very ill. She stopped that bedtime nonsense months and months ago. She also knows how to play by herself and generally take care of herself as independently as a newly 9 year old can. She has much better boundaries, they (SO and SD) both do. 

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BM cannot stand our happy home

Forthelifeoftheparty's picture

EOW visits with SD13 have been going really well. There is no Disney Dad happening. No nightly phone calls to BM. SD13 seems pretty happy when she is here. She spends time with us by her own choice and we all get along well. When it is time to go back to BM’s (who she chose to stay with FT) she drags her feet. 

I am still sticking to my two rules. I am not left alone with SD13 because of her lying. And I keep conversation focused on her, so my invisible emotional boundary is intact. 

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I did something dumb

Forthelifeoftheparty's picture

I looked at BM’s fb and got a stomach ache over all of the lies. She paints this rosy picture of her life and who she is. All of it is absolute bullcrap.

DH was disappointed in me for “diving into the muck” and giving her power over my mind. He chooses to ignore her. He is wise.

 

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The Way BM’s word things...

Forthelifeoftheparty's picture

 It is as though she is the CEO of divorced moms everywhere. Every sentence has too many damn adverbs. They ooze drama that is “professional sounding” in the way those scam emails that pretend to alert you to an unauthorized user logging into your Apple iTunes account are. You know what I mean, Steppers? Please comment with examples so I can laugh. Ten more years. Ten more years of this psychopath. I saw her the other day. Geez does she look like dried dog poop flakes so gracefully ironic in the wind.

DH gets weekly Emails with these phrases:

Just a friendly reminder..

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Treating the BM Like A Disease My DH Will Always Have

Forthelifeoftheparty's picture

This morning I’ve been reading about Narcissistic Personality Disorder from a narcissist’s point of view on Quora. Interesting stuff.

I’m pretty sure BM has NPD based on her actions, opinions of people who have known her for decades, and oh yeah, that little golden psyche report which came back “inconclusive” during the divorce. 

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BM and Pickup Drama

LilyGirl43's picture

Long time lurker, first time poster. Needed to vent.

I am SM to three kids, 15, 13, and 11. DH and I have been together for 9 years, married for 3. He empowers me to be a parent to his kids and backs me up. The kids are awesome and we treat each other with respect.

Needed to vent about BM. BM and SF live in the country, in a house that's set 150 yards back from the road, a road which does not have a posted speed limit (which means people go as fast as they want). They have lived there for a year and eight months.

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