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OT- Hiring a cleaning service

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I felt incredibly guilty and a number of other emotions about hiring a cleaning service. But I did this weekend. They did a deep clean and it was SO worth it. 

Really considering continuing to hire a cleaning service to come at least every two weeks.

Cleaning is my BIGGEST source of stress. I'm tired of feeling like I'm constantly doing it. And cleaning just takes up so much time and energy that leaves me irritable and drained. 

Anyone have experience with this? Is it a game changer?

Need some perspective

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I like to get an outsider's perspective to be sure I'm not being overly judgy. 

Let me preface this, I am an only child and my bioparents were married until I was an adult. So, I dont know anything about having a sibling etc.

Anyway, SD lives with DH and me primarily. There are no other children in the HH. At BM's she has a half sister and a stepbrother (but stepbrother living with his BM). Anyway SD is about to be 7 and is still sharing a bed with her 3 year old sister. They also take baths together. Is this normal? 



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So, yesterday SD had an event at school involving a presentation of a project. The event started at 4pm. 

Thursdays SD goes with BM after school. Well DH asked BM if she needed him to pick SD up after school at 3:15 so that she could be at the event on time. And BM refused and said the teacher had already offered to keep her but that we needed to pack extra snacks. I know it's just 45 minutes but we live literally 4 houses down from the school. SD could have had a nice little break at home and spent some extra time with DH and ate her snacks at home. 

Whose TV is it anyway?

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So, I'm really curious how other households run and how other people grew up.

I'm an only child. My parents did not revolve their life and their TV watching around me. Yes we sometimes watched kids shows or movies together. But if my parents wanted to watch something they did. And I was off in my own world playing with barbies, coloring, you name it. 

Is this soft PAS?

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A little background, DH and BM have an ongoing court case. DH has primary custody but BM is trying to argue for 50/50. And in her argument, on a legal document, BM has called SD "spoiled and bratty". 

The other night as DH and I were saying goodnight to SD6 she said she wanted to tell us something. SD said that the Monday following a weekend possession with BM (DH has primary custody), SD asked BM if the next weekend she'd be with dad. BM advised her yes and SD said "yay!" As a response and BM reacted by telling the child that she was being "kind of mean". 

At a loss

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SD(6) is in Kinder. Twice this year she's left PE without permission just because she "doesn't like PE". And today at the field trip to the zoo, SD stayed at the playground when her class left because she supposedly didn't hear her class calling her. 

The prior 2 times she lost TV privileges for 2 days. But both times DH still played board games with her or SD played with toys. IMO this defeats the purpose of a punishment if she still gets to have fun. Any insight or differing opinions? I am childfree and have no other experience. 


Do I Do Too Much?

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I still feel relatively new to this stepmom business. I am biologically childless. And I grew up an only child with two bio parents who remained married. So blended family is not up my alley. 

SD6 lives with us primarily. She goes with BM one day a week and every other weekend. 


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A little background. I've been married to DH a little over a year, together for 3. SD is 6 and she has lived primarily with us for the last year. Before that she lived with us 50% of the time, on 2 days, off 2 days, on 3 days. That sort of thing. 

Anyway, for the most part we are close. I do love her but sometimes she does annoy me and I like to have my own space. 

Lately, I've been wondering if we should have our own baby. This would be my first baby, DH's second. SD has a half sister (3) at BM. Plus a step-brother (8) at BM's that she only sees in the summer.