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Don’t know how to coexist with this kid

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We've had busy weeks since our vacation in September. There hasn't been a weekend I even got to sleep in. I told everyone in the house this morning I don't want to be bothered. I just want ONE MORNING to sleep in. 

Of course it doesn't matter to ss16. Yelling in the morning then slammed the door. F*ck i really did jump from my bed from that door slamming. 

I'm so angry and tired that I'm literally tearing up now. (Call me childish or whatever) Idgaf that he's autistic, door slamming is controllable. His "sorry" fixes nothing regardless how magical he thinks it is. 

Ss seems dedicated in not putting any effort

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Ss16, ADHD +ASD.

we just came back from an amazing vacation (without the kids), and just one day in the house with ss completely nullified the whole after-vacay effect.

ss has just been reading online or physical coming books during his class time. Not completing class work, doesn't correct homework, and surprised when he got Ds and Cs in tests. (Even one F, but the teacher let him retake and he was able to make it a B) 

Stepson might never be independent

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SS is now 16, ADHD+ high functioning autism.

DH wanted him to learn driving this summer, gave the boy chances to look for information, and learn to plan. A month went by, nothing. DH ended up finding a course for SS.

Another month has gone by, ss is still not done with the 30-hour online course. He googled every answer in order to pass the quiz in the course, reported to DH happily that he had worked hard. 

Endless lying and stealing

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So obviously SS15 (almost 16) just think things that he "found" in the house are automatically his.

This week he had stolen his dad's expensive earbuds (and lied about it) because he lost the good pair DH gave him and clearly he "found" those on the couch. He had also taken DH's newly bought shoes and decided to go run in the dirt. Those were brand new and DH hasn't even tried on. Now they are in dirt because he "thought" those are for him.

Basically, anything shiny, new, in this house that he wants are for him, in his mind.

Lying about grades? This happens daily. 


The lack of common sense is strong with this one

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Again, my SS is almost 16, on the better functioning end of the spectrum with some flavor of ADHD.

In the past weeks it had been a crazy struggle with this kid. On the one hand I understand that at his age, he wants to be independent and start finding his place. On the other hand, he ONLY wants to be independent in expressing his opinion (not a bad thing) and expecting people to do things his way (not that much a good thing), and not anything else. (Doesn't know when he needs to eat, clean, what kind of clothes to wear, keep losing everything...etc)


Feel offended

EveryoneLies's picture I was walking through what SS will need to do tomorrow, we happened to touch on a few more other things, including his long shower without soap (see other post for this. What bothers me was the water waste, but per SS15 he thinks not knowing how to shower correctly is something embarrassing and would rather us not to talk to his therapist about it).

Out of all of the topic, SS made a snarky and creepy comment:

SS: So...I have a question for you

Me: Okay?

SS: So...what was the thumping noise in your room the other day?


Here we go again

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SS15 decided he didn't need soap when showering. This is not the first, second, or even third time we've gone through this. Oh and somehow he still needed 15 mins of hot shower with just water. 

and we wonder why his room smells lol

He has always been wasting water like this (other acts involve flushing toilet when there is nothing to flush), and It really bothers me. 


My actual birthday wish

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Is that I don't have to celebrate it with SS. (I don't really celebrate, i really just want a day, a few days, without him)

But this is too mean and too much to ask for; I hope in 3 years it will finally be the way I've wanted. 

I'm so sick of SS's lying (about everything, and he's never wrong), and arguing about his "rights" (none of his rights were ever violated).  It's really funny even when we are "so abusive" and "violating his rights," not one day he'd like to move to his own mother. I wonder if it's possible because he also couldn't stand someone just like himself.