A follow-up to my post earlier this week when my husband announced he plans to spend at least 4 days every month with his adult kids, for reference they discinclude me so I am not invited to be part of this time away.
He now is planning another 4 day trip to see them only 2 weeks after getting back from the last one. Starting to feel like a lot to deal with!
Most of you are familiar, ut for newbies, heres the synopsis: I have 2 SDs, Toxic Feral SD20, and Munchkin SD12. Feral has moved into her mothers apartment last November. She has not had much contact with DH, except for a few texts here and there, since she turned 18, graduated high school, and left our house. After several years of her filth and disrespectful attitude I was ok with no contact, however I realize and understand that DH was affected. The upshot is that she is incrdibly toxic and hateful.
I'm new to this website and new to the world of step-parenting. I’m not married yet but in a very serious committed relationship with my SO. He has a 4 yr old with his ex-wife. I am driving myself crazy with the thought that child support has the possibility of increasing as our household grows financially for the next 14 years. I find myself jealous, angry, and most of all scared. Scared for the wellbeing of my potential future family’s financial wellbeing. When I bring it up with my SO he gets defensive and isolates himself emotionally.
... except I won't "let" him, even though he's willing to go into $100k debt for anything I want!
Yes folks, that is the arguement. I am ashamed I haven't already separated accounts because DH is obsessed with this sports car and watching numerous YouTube vids about it. It starts at like $55k and DH wants to trade in our almost paid off vehicle and finance the rest. Because, "we can afford it" BUT, if I want to separate accounts, then he CAN'T afford it.
Last weekend was our skid weekend (we are EOW), and we had plans to have a small lunch on the porch before giving YSS10 his birthday gifts. He just turned 10, and given the epic double-digit b-day bash I threw for DD when SHE turned 10 long ago, I figured HCBM would be throwing YSS10 a big soiree for his leap into double-digit-dom. DH and I send HCBM $1000/month for skids, so you would think a party and some presents would be in order, right?
Nope. Nope. Nope.
Just when you think you've heard it all...
Money is always a hot and sensitive issue.
So it turns out that Disney MIL (Gma to the skids -- DH mom who he does not get along with) is making a will. It also turns out DMIL has had dementia for quite awhile(amongst other obvious but undiagnosed mental/ personality disorders).
I got home from work today and DH started telling me this story...and I was near tears laughing so hard by the time he was done. He was near tears, too, of course. Oh my word.
So, apparently sometime this afternoon, BM started texting him (in a group text with OSD and YSD) in a panic, asking if anyone had heard from SS lately...and she was so, so, so, so worried about him! Has anyone heard from him since Tuesday?!?!
DH had a momentary fear and then paused for a moment and asked what was up. Told her he'd texted with SS this morning.
So...this weekend we got a money panic email from BM, asking us what we though we/DH's parents can 'do' toward YSD's college plans.
Apparently YSD doesn't qualify for the Pell Grant, which we thought she would based on her EFC.
I am highly suspicious of this. BM technically has 2 other kids 'in college' who have both gotten financial aid. With 3 kids in college, she'd have to be making over 75K a year to NOT qualify for ANY aid at all (adjusted gross, not gross...and those three kids also bring that number down significantly, I thought).