For those interested, the big Disney trip went well. The skids took excellent care of the homestead while we were away and several friends checked in on them for good measure. They seemed to enjoy the peace and quiet away from all of their noisy younger siblings (both our bios and their half sister from their BM). We enjoyed some quality time with our littles (even if they did spend a lot of time fighting with each other and complaining about being tired).
Do you ever feel like a yo-yo? I do. The skids get on my nerves and just thinking about them coming over stresses me out. Then something happens – some event or solitary moment – and I get the warm fuzzies for them…for like a hot second. Then *poof* it’s gone again and I’m back to boiling over with annoyance.
BM messaged me today with a proposed Christmas holiday schedule. Actually, she messaged me to say she would be sending a proposed holiday schedule. Translation: she's sending us a copy of the only schedule she will accept without turning into a flaming c*nt. And of course she only sends it to me. Not DH. No, apparently I'm supposed to be the messanger.
Cue a mini anxiety attack. Pounding heart. Shaky hands. Headache growing at the base of my skull. Something like adrenaline radiating in my chest. Fun stuff.
We are now in counseling. Well, at least I have started counseling. DH is still waiting for his referral to come through from my EAP but it should only be a couple of days. He is definitely on board and truly wants to make things better between us. The counselor is nice. Very engaging - not like the last one. We've only had one session but I think this is going to help.
Things have been going smoother since DH agreed to quit trying to force me to be excited about homecoming. Only a couple more days and it will all be behind us. Until then I've been trying to stay zen about all the hooplah leading up to it - the dress fittings, ordering flowers, the Powder Puff football game, picking up the dress... all that jazz. DH keeps sending me pics of the kids doing all these things and whatnot and I just...don't care.
pic of 'the dress'... whatever
pic of the Powder Puff game... woohoo
Homecoming is next Friday. The dress is paid for. We've given BM all the money we are going to give her to help out with this event and she hasn't complained or demaned more. I was able to cancel our hotel and dinner reservation for the concert but the tickets have to be used. Luckily my BFF of 30 years has agreed to go with me and is A-OK with eating cheap and driving home at midnight to save some bucks.
BOTH skids made homecoming court. SS16 is going to be a junior representative.
And now DH is p*ssed at ME for being p*ssed at the situation. He is asking for counseling. He said 'I refuse to do to the littles what I did with the bigs. Take that as a threat if you want but I REFUSE.' Meaning - he refuses to lose time with the little boys by being separated from them via divorce.
DH can't understand why I harbor resentment toward the skids. "You've known them since they were little! I don't understand how you cannot be attached to them! It doesn't make sense!"
Last week was a tough one. We spent the better part of the week either fighting, being snippy, or not speaking at all. Or in my DHs case, pretending like everything was unicorns and rainbows. Fast foward to last night and things were significantly better. Everything was out in the open. We did a lot of talking, though the conversation went in directions I didn't expect, but ultimately we're in a better place. I didn't have to drop the D-word...my BKs did that for me...in not so many words. It was both awkward and a little funny.
Well THAT went over like a whore in church. We met with BM and all of the discussion related to the birthday party went off without a hitch.
Then I decided it was time to defend my household and call BM out on her bullsh*t.
Does anyone else ever feel like their DH and skids misunderstand their motivations and intentions for doing things? I get the feeling mine do…a LOT.