BOTH skids made homecoming court. SS16 is going to be a junior representative.
And now DH is p*ssed at ME for being p*ssed at the situation. He is asking for counseling. He said 'I refuse to do to the littles what I did with the bigs. Take that as a threat if you want but I REFUSE.' Meaning - he refuses to lose time with the little boys by being separated from them via divorce.
DH can't understand why I harbor resentment toward the skids. "You've known them since they were little! I don't understand how you cannot be attached to them! It doesn't make sense!"
Last week was a tough one. We spent the better part of the week either fighting, being snippy, or not speaking at all. Or in my DHs case, pretending like everything was unicorns and rainbows. Fast foward to last night and things were significantly better. Everything was out in the open. We did a lot of talking, though the conversation went in directions I didn't expect, but ultimately we're in a better place. I didn't have to drop the D-word...my BKs did that for me...in not so many words. It was both awkward and a little funny.
Well THAT went over like a whore in church. We met with BM and all of the discussion related to the birthday party went off without a hitch.
Then I decided it was time to defend my household and call BM out on her bullsh*t.
Does anyone else ever feel like their DH and skids misunderstand their motivations and intentions for doing things? I get the feeling mine do…a LOT.
Last week before the skids went back to their mom’s they told us that they were going on a mini vacation with their grandmother (BMs mom). They had casually mentioned it a while back but there were no solid plans. Then literally hours before walking out the door for a long weekend with their BM (we swapped some days so we weren’t going to see them for 5 days) they say “Oh, by the way, our vacation with grandma is Sunday through Wednesday.” Monday and Tuesday were supposed to be our days. Nobody even mentioned this or offered to trade.
The school year hasn’t even begun yet but the teachers are starting to send out emails and reminders about upcoming events. The HS band is going on a trip to Chicago – naturally both skids want to go. Actually, both skids expect to go. There has never been any hint of doubt that they would. *cough*entitled*cough* Being the only financially responsible parent in this three-some, I started scanning the budget for future months looking for places to squeeze in the monthly payments for this trip.
Back in the day when DH and I first got married, he was paying BM in cash for everything. The bookkeeper in me put a stop to that and everything has been done with checks ever since for tracking purposes. Another thing I put a stop to? Handing over a wad of cash for school clothes every season. Instead of BM demanding a certain dollar amount, we started taking the kids shopping ourselves so that we could have more control over how our money was spent – plus it was nice to be able to help the kids pick stuff out and know what came from us.
I spent a large chunk of yesterday not eating and stewing over everything that happened the night before. There were moments during the work day where I could hardly choke back the tears and keep working. I Googled “how to know when you’re ready for a divorce”. Ultimately, I don’t think we are there but it is still floating on the periphery.
The bitch asked for more money again. She made a financial decision without us and expects us to just “pay our half”. Same shit, different day.
Another offshoot to the SD car insurance saga…
SD17 had a job. SD17 had a reaction to something in the environment and Dr wouldn’t clear her to go back to that job until they figured out what it was. This was back at the end of the school year. SD17 hasn’t seen an allergist and has been ‘surviving’ by babysitting throughout the summer. Well here we are within spitting distance of the school year starting and SD still hasn’t found a real job. I casually asked her the other day how the hunt was going. Here’s how that went…
Me: Dad says you might have a lead on a job?