Things have been going smoother since DH agreed to quit trying to force me to be excited about homecoming. Only a couple more days and it will all be behind us. Until then I've been trying to stay zen about all the hooplah leading up to it - the dress fittings, ordering flowers, the Powder Puff football game, picking up the dress... all that jazz. DH keeps sending me pics of the kids doing all these things and whatnot and I just...don't care.
pic of 'the dress'... whatever
pic of the Powder Puff game... woohoo
talk about the convertibles they're going to ride in and who is driving and how they're going to announce the winners... *yawn
I feel guilty about not caring but I suppose it's better than being angry. Guess that makes me the sh*ttiest stepmom on the planet. I'm so done getting excited for all of their stuff when all it does is put us in the poorhouse. I/we took a drastic step toward digging us out of the poorhouse, though. Worked with a financial advisor and decided that a debt consolidation loan was the right way to go. Three credit cards went into the trash and we will have a more manageable payment going forward. Also laid out a snowball plan...we could potentially be debt-free (except for the mortgage) by Dec. 2023...if we can be disciplined and hopefully avoid any major catastrophes. That's a pretty big IF, I know, but at least it's a goal to reach for (and in a lovely Excel spreadsheet that I can track our progress!)
I'm also tired of trying to pretend I care so DH doesn't get mad at me and accuse me of being a monster. If the situation were reversed and I had a second spouse feeling this way toward my littles, I would probably feel the same as DH. I'll own that. Does't mean I can flip a switch and stop feeling the way I do - especially after a decade of living my life holding the skids up on a pedestal while I kneel in the mud.
Guess that's the end of my pity party for today. Just needed to get it out.