Seeking advice. I’ve been with my DH for 4 years. I have 4 kids (11, 9, 8 & 5), he has 1 son (10). BM spoils him to the extreme to make sure she is the “favorite.” Buys him whatever he wants, takes expensive trips (DH and I cannot afford this and she knows that), picks up after him, indulges him.. (which he has told me and DH that we need to do for him as well. And he was quickly corrected that no, we do not). BM even sleeps in his bed with him at night (which honestly is a little weird to me).
My SS8 has always been a very anxious/emotional kid. He’s got many fears and often needs to be practically forced to do anything, even things that are fun(such as water slides, amusement park rides) After he is forced to do the fun things he enjoys it so much. Sometimes he will hyperventilate(like if he thinks ants are on him or right before doing a fun thing he's scared of doing). I’ve recently also noticed he developed a fear of large crowds. His anxieties are slowly getting worse.
BM messaged me today with a proposed Christmas holiday schedule. Actually, she messaged me to say she would be sending a proposed holiday schedule. Translation: she's sending us a copy of the only schedule she will accept without turning into a flaming c*nt. And of course she only sends it to me. Not DH. No, apparently I'm supposed to be the messanger.
Cue a mini anxiety attack. Pounding heart. Shaky hands. Headache growing at the base of my skull. Something like adrenaline radiating in my chest. Fun stuff.
We are now in counseling. Well, at least I have started counseling. DH is still waiting for his referral to come through from my EAP but it should only be a couple of days. He is definitely on board and truly wants to make things better between us. The counselor is nice. Very engaging - not like the last one. We've only had one session but I think this is going to help.
Last week was a tough one. We spent the better part of the week either fighting, being snippy, or not speaking at all. Or in my DHs case, pretending like everything was unicorns and rainbows. Fast foward to last night and things were significantly better. Everything was out in the open. We did a lot of talking, though the conversation went in directions I didn't expect, but ultimately we're in a better place. I didn't have to drop the D-word...my BKs did that for me...in not so many words. It was both awkward and a little funny.
So here is my latest issue. My exhusband is wanting to take my 14 yr old daughter to Mexico and I just have a bad feeling about all this. He already bought tickets and is telling me what hes doing and this trip is in January! This is just what he does. He will plan things and tell me hes doing expecting me to be ok with it. He is pushing me to sign and approve for her to get a passport. I definitely do not trust him.
I’m a stepmum to a 17 year old girl and a 15 year old boy. I’ve been with their dad for 12 years and we’ve always had the kids every other weekend and over the holidays. We were doing really well and were really happy (despite the occasional fallout with his ex-wife)and are planning on getting married this year.
I may have hurt DH’s feelings, but the words poured out, the question, “Has anyone ever loved your children enough to tell then the truth?”
The truth about their behavior, about their mother’s lack of a conscience?