Ok, so I told my husband that I wanted to split the bank account and he got mad, which resulted in us getting into an argument about money, family, blah, blah, blah. He told me that we split the bills half and half and I told him when his kid moves in, he will pay 2/3 of the bills, since there's two of them. He was not happy about that. Needless to say, I haven't gotten my own account yet. The part I'm asking your opinion about is that I've been contemplating leaving him and I've been thinking about this for a while.
So my brother and sis in law are staying at our house saturday as a halfway point to take another seven hour drive the next day to their destination. The drive to our house from their house is about 6 1/2 to 7 hours. My DH told my SD that they were going to stay in the room that she usually sleeps in when she visits us once a month. We have two rooms in our house that only have full size beds for guests because the rooms are not big enough to put a bigger bed in them. My brother is 6'6" and barely fits on the bed himself.
So this recently happened. My 22yo SD text my DH and told him she had a couple packages being sent to our house. They were a couple fire pits that she wants to sell. I asked why is she sending them to our house instead of her mom's house? He said why do you care? I told him that I don't want her thinking that we are going to be a storage unit for her and that she's going to pack our room in our home with a bunch of her stuff like she did at his mom's house. He siad he told her that she needs to sell it or send it back. I don't believe him when he says that.
Ok, so my YSD is here until August when she goes back to nursing school. A little background before I ask my question. YSD and OSD went to another country with their BM and when they came back, YSD was asked to do dishes and said no. I was sitting there and ask her to help and she flat out told me that she and dad had an agreement that she did her own dishes and noone elses. So from then on, she only did her own dishes. Now, she comes here and stays long periods of time (i.e. summer break, christmas break) and doesn't help do anything.
I put a post up not too long ago about my sister in law telling me that SD was planning on staying with us most of the summer but not telling DH or me (I never get told anything.) So she called last week when she was almost here and said she would be at our house in a little while. I got so mad and told my husband that she was incosiderate and not courteous and disrespectful. He got mad at me and said that he was tired of my attitude whenever she came around. Fast forward to Saturday night, we were all playing cards and my sister in law and niece were here.
I'd like to know how the Stepparents that left their relationships were able to get their finances in order? Did any of you have a joint bank account with their divorced spouse or did you keep your own bank account? If you had a house together, how did you get your name off the loan and the bills that went along with it? Were your spouses controlling about the finances and get offended and start manipulating you about the finances? How long did it take you to plan your exit? What steps did you take to leave and did you get any negativity from your family?
My SD seems to think that it's ok to show up at our house when she wants. Such as today. She tells DH that she is on her way here and he asks why she never tells us when she's coming. Her answer is she never knows. I told him that's a shit answer and that she could tell us when she leaves her house, which is 2 hours away. He gets mad at me and says I have a problem with his kids and that he is going to start having a problem with my family when they come. First of all, my family doesn't come here and when they do I tell him.
Ok, so I need some advice. My oldest SD is 25 and works as a nurse. She just bought a new car and my husband let her put her car on our insurance without talking to me first. I tried to tell him that even though we have insurance, the other party can come after us if they want even though we have insurance. I don't want anything to happen because we have a house and I don't want to lose our house. He told me this is how it was going to happen and I needed to basically shut up about it. How do I deal with this?