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BM cannot stand our happy home

Forthelifeoftheparty's picture

EOW visits with SD13 have been going really well. There is no Disney Dad happening. No nightly phone calls to BM. SD13 seems pretty happy when she is here. She spends time with us by her own choice and we all get along well. When it is time to go back to BM’s (who she chose to stay with FT) she drags her feet. 

I am still sticking to my two rules. I am not left alone with SD13 because of her lying. And I keep conversation focused on her, so my invisible emotional boundary is intact. 

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Counseling Continues

Forthelifeoftheparty's picture

Went to counseling. With DH. Let DH lead. We were united. 

I am shocked to say I felt counseling was worthwhile. 

I do not believe SD13 is telling the counselor much beyond what her mother dearest has instructed her to say or carefully put into her head over months of manipulation. Nonetheless, I did get some tips on how to maintain my cool when dealing with a stone-faced adolescent who spies on me and craps on my kindness in a way that is so quiet, it can barely be addressed.

 

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Stealing Finally Addressed

Forthelifeoftheparty's picture

**sucking down a beer as I type-**

I couldn’t find a pair of earrings. I really thought SD13 had stolen them. I asked. She of course said “No.” I brought up (finally!) the stolen jewelry. I asked where it was.

“In that drawer” and she pointed.

“Try again,” I said.

“In my closet,” she answered.

”No, it isn’t in your closet. Because I found it and took it back. You just lied to me. You stole my jewelry, hid it for months and then just lied to me.”

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