Exercise in communication made things worse…waaaaaay worse
Well THAT went over like a whore in church. We met with BM and all of the discussion related to the birthday party went off without a hitch.
Then I decided it was time to defend my household and call BM out on her bullsh*t.
I won’t rehash all the details because it was the mother of all clusterf*cks. BM almost immediately cut me off and started making threats. DH lost his temper. Then things would calm down for a minute. Then tempers would flare again. Their primary argument? Why is it fair that we have to bear all of this burden? (meaning SD17s car insurance) and we’re like Why is it fair of you to demand that we pay you money that WE DON’T HAVE while you say too f*cking bad?!
In the end, DH caved and said he would try to come up with a portion of the money, but not all of it. I said, pft. You can say that all you want but its going to be a long time before you see any of it because WE DON’T F*CKING HAVE IT.
So we come home. DH is flaming p*ssed. Decides to try and storm out the door to go to a side job that he is in the middle of because “All I’m good for is going to work.” Mind you, it is after 6pm on Sunday, we haven’t had dinner, and he never goes to side jobs that late. I manage to convince him to stay home but then we proceed to have the biggest fight we’ve EVER had. Guns blazing. No holds barred. I didn’t say anything I regret but I am still reeling after some of the things he said.
He claims that he’s almost 40 years old with nothing to show for his life.
Excuse me, what?
When I met him, he was sitting in a crater of debt left to him by the c*nt ex-wife. (My parents actually loaned us money so he could file bankruptcy before we got married and start fresh) Almost all of his bills were past due, shut off notices coming every other week. He had a POS car that he could barely keep running. He was stuck in a union job that paid well…until he would get laid off for months at a time. He hated that job. He got no respect. Working conditions weren’t fit for an animal. He had to drive 2 hours each way. His life sucked.
Fast forward 10 years and we have a lovely house in town that is building a fair amount of equity. He has the newest vehicle he’s ever owned that is dependable and rust-free. He owns a f*cking Harley-Davidson motorcycle that is in excellent working condition (one of his lifelong dreams). He went back to school and now has a job that pays as well as the union ever did and doesn’t lay him off. Working conditions are exponentially better. He has two more amazing kids that are smart as whips and starving for his attention. And the icing on the cake, IMHO? He has a wife who isn’t a fat, lazy, adulterous whore.
He literally told me that everything we’ve achieved over the last decade is sh*t. His words. WTF am I supposed to do with that?
In his mind, because we are budgeted to the hilt, struggling with credit card debt, and can’t just go out and buy any ol’ thing we want, our life is sh*t. No, buddy. Your life is sh*t because you pay that whore double what you should and don’t care how it affects the rest of your family.
He thinks I’m fighting back on this issue because I don’t see the skids as equal members of the household and don’t want to support them. Doesn’t matter how many ways I try to tell him that’s not the case, he still thinks I have it out for them. Well, you know what? If he continues to refuse to see reason, then yes, I am going to have it out for them a little. I didn’t sign up to live a life of sacrifice and financial ruin so they could have everything they want. And if he thinks that’s how I’m going to live, he’s got a rude awakening coming.
I’ve started looking at family lawyers. I’ve got the name of a few that come highly recommended. I don’t want a divorce. I still love him enough that I don’t want to hurt him, but I’m not sure how far my love extends beyond that.
I plan to offer him a compromise of sorts. Effective immediately, we will open a new, joint checking account. All deposits will come from HIS paycheck. That is the only account we will use to pay child support from now until the end of days. If he wants to continue paying that whore more than his base amount, he can start a weekly direct deposit into that account to save up. If he doesn’t have it, she doesn’t get it because I will not put a f*cking dime of my money into that account. Ever.
If he doesn’t accept that proposal, then he will have to accept a call from a divorce laywer.