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Vibrating with stress

blessedwithstress's picture

DH switched jobs. Pay weeks are now opposite what they used to be and it’s really f*cking up my budget plan. Like, I literally have the shakes after trying to rearrange my budget spreadsheet so we can pay everything on time and not end up in the red week after week. We’re budgeted to the hilt and our credit cards are almost maxed. But I digress… In an effort to avoid blowups, I warned BM that we might have to double up on CS payments one week – meaning one payment would be a week late. Not that our finances are really any of her business but if this b*tch doesn’t get her check on time, she’s like a gremlin at a waterpark.

So what is her response to my polite heads up? “Ok. DH knows, but you’re also very behind on car insurance. He said he was going to get it caught up when he finishes his next side job.”

I wanted SOOOOO bad to tell her “He agreed to that, not me, so don’t bother asking me about it.” But that would have started a sh*tstorm of messages that I don’t need to deal with today.

I will be so glad when the kids are both over 18 and I don’t have to pretend to like her anymore.  


Gimlet's picture

What, the car insurance she took it upon herself to get with SD's new car?  That car insurance?

Your husband needs to tell her to go kick rocks.  She made the decision to buy SD a new car, she can deal with it.  And none of that is your problem. 

Since SD has a shiny new car, sounds like she needs to start coughing up some insurance money.  She works, right?

hereiam's picture

He is not behind on car insurance. He did them a favor, paying for 3-4 months, they can figure it out from there. He is not "behind" and it is not his "bill" to get caught up on. Bitch cracks me up!

ntm's picture

It’s my understanding that CS payments are due before the end of the month, so as long as all payments are made this month, he’s not late. And she can kiss your tush on the car insurance. That’s her expense, or the skid’s. 

Siemprematahari's picture

but you’re also very behind on car insurance.

What I'd give to see this car insurance not get paid and SD not able to drive the fancy car with all the bells & whistles.....

StrawberryPie's picture

If there is a CO, there is a 'grace period' for CS payments.  This generally ranges from 7-10 days (used for processing time).  So if CS is due on the Sept 1, your DH has 7 or 10 days (depends on what your state laws are) until the payment is considered late.  Sounds like your BM is a total pain.  

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Not all CO's have a grace period. Usually it is spelled out exactly when the support is due. Sometimes by the end of the month or the first of the month - but that is when it is due. In my state, there is no grace period. Support is due by whatever date is set in the court order.

blessedwithstress's picture

BM is the one with he brand new car. She only borrowed SDs car to drive while they were waiting on insurance money from the car BM wrecked to come through so BM could buy herself a new car. They could have bought something cheaper but no. They went for the fancy car because that’s what they HAD to do to get out from under the money they still owed on the wrecked car. Anyway - not our problem. I think DH was more than kind to chip in for the 3-4 months he did.

And no, SD is not currently working but that is a whole other post. She really needs to get a job and start adulting, even if it means cutting back on extracurriculars. My parents didn’t make me pay insurance but I made my car payment and ALWAYS bought my own gas from the time I was 16. Except for like twice...when I was temporarily unemployed...and 22yo. 

Gimlet's picture

Nothing like buying more car than you need or can afford because you have negative equity and then getting more negative equity as soon as you roll off the lot.   

I re-read your blog and BM asked for money because of her new car payment?   That is not your problem.

Paying of insurance is up to the parents.  Notice I said parents plural, not one parent deciding and then demanding.  If DH can't afford to pay or doesn't want to, then SD will have to get a job or BM will have to absorb it. 

tog redux's picture

If you guys are budgeted to the hilt and maxed out on credit cards, why the he!! is DH agreeing to pay for something extra like car insurance?!  And why do YOU have to deal with BM? That can be his punishment for agreeing to give her money that you guys don't have to give. 

Around here, CS is due by the first day of the month - I've never heard of a grace period. 

StepperLife's picture

Okay, let him pay CS and not car insurance.  Raises my Car Insurance gives me a whole damn month (til next month due date) to pay anyways. So if she wants to nitpick then by all means as the middle communicator I would tell BM sorry but our priority is CS (court order) and not insurance. And if DH wants to flip his sh*t tell him it’s in your house holds best interest to not assist in car insurance until you get he swing of the new pay periods. 

SteppedOut's picture

This only she needs to be told no more help paying her car insurance bill anymore PERIOD. 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Your credit cardS are almost maxed, and your H thinks you can afford to help with his kid's auto insurance??? Good grief, it sounds as if your household is barely staying afloat.

You really should get him to a financial counselor ASAP.