I was outside telling a friend goodbye and when I came inside I heard another voice. I look across the room and there she is talking to SD in SD's bedroom. She rarely comes over. How did I not notice her come in and where is her vehicle? I walked straight to my bedroom, shut the door, and logged in to steptalk.
I don't like the woman. I was dumb and naive in the beginning thinking we can all get along for the sake of the kids . Didn't turn out like I thought it would.
I disengaged a few weeks and after a rocky start it was smoothing out ok. Then in a passive moment tonight when I had plans to go to store DH said SD16 needed to go too to get a sketchpad for school and I felt like I was put on the spot and she would have heard me say no and it would cause a big fight. So I took SD with me and DS8. (DS is homeschooled and we don't get out often.)
This is very embarassing. I hope I'm not the only one. I have to admit that I did the paperwork and guided DH in getting custody of SD. I did the research, navigated the court system, figured out how to get papers served on a parent with no address, ordered copies of past court orders, etc. He just had to be the one at the courthouse. He did do quite a bit of work and got help from family court assistance, although he wouldn't have known that resource existed and where it was if I didn't tell him.
Its hard for some people to understand the cruel behavior of SD16. They see a kid that is very outgoing, involved in sports, goes to youth group, gets all A's and B's, and keeps her room clean. In DH's eyes its proof that she is doing just fine and I'm probably overreacting. When he got her grades in the mail recently i agreed with him that they were very good grades. Still he had to find ways to ask me again what I thought of them. I was like I already told you she got very good grades. I said she worked hard and she should be proud. It was getting really annoying.
SD16 asks if we can go to the store for donuts because there isn't any food here. DH says there is cereal and she says there isn't. We go to cupboard and there are three different kinds. She says she doesn't like any of those. DH says he will go to the store in a bit. I mention to him we also have oatmeal, pancake mix, and eggs. He says she's such a picky eater. I told him if she gets hungry enough she will eat. Jeez.
I was out of control as a teenager in a passive defiant way. I got into a lot of trouble and made a lot of poor choices. One of them occurred when visiting my older sister in Vegas. I met a guy probably in his mid to late twenties and had a 1 week fling. I went back home. He said he would call me and even be coming to my state supposedly soon. I never got his information and his last name I lost from my memory because it was a Russian last name I wasn't familiar with. 6 or 7 months down the road I found out I was pregnant.
I wish I was a babysitter. When I was young my parents would get me a babysitter and as I got older they called it companion sitting. I was too old for a babysitter and too young to make big decisions quickly if something happened. Sitters have it good. The parents have a talk with the child before they go or get busy with some project. They say something like so and so is in charge so you better listen to them and behave (or else). They tell the sitter how they can be reached if there are any problems. Few sitters have any problems.
I'm unreasonable. I'm not fair. I'm always causing problems. I'm abusive. I hurt confidence and crush self-esteem. I only have negative things to say. I like to point out flaws and laugh at mistakes. I'm lazy and use all the money on myself. I brainwash my spouse and favor my own child.
Why not take it a bit further. What's an evil stepmom really like? At first it's difficult to imagine myself as mean stepmom because I'm not one, but luckily I have a very vivid imagination.
I was watching a Ted Talk this morning on the Secrets of Hostage Negotiators by Scott Tellema. It was discussing methods to use when you need to influence someone's decisions when their emotions are running high. Basically how to be a better listener.
The extra pet and responsibility that goes along with it that I never wanted. The litterbox we didnt have a spot or space to put is in my diining room of all places. When the cat was a small kitten it was in SD's room. She is supposed to feed and clean the litterbox every day. This hasn't been done. I'd let DH handle it but he probably wouldnt notice the smell or a hungry cat. I cant let an animal be neglected so i take care of it. Yesterday i told SD from now on I'm going to charge her 5 for everytime I have to feed her cat and 10 when i have to do the litterbox. She freaked out.