Endless lying and stealing
So obviously SS15 (almost 16) just think things that he "found" in the house are automatically his.
This week he had stolen his dad's expensive earbuds (and lied about it) because he lost the good pair DH gave him and clearly he "found" those on the couch. He had also taken DH's newly bought shoes and decided to go run in the dirt. Those were brand new and DH hasn't even tried on. Now they are in dirt because he "thought" those are for him.
Basically, anything shiny, new, in this house that he wants are for him, in his mind.
Lying about grades? This happens daily.
Lying about turning in hw? Same thing.
DH is at his limit and even he doesn't want to live with his son anymore. I don't know how this boy is going to be able to be independent at all, I just hope this will actually come to an end when he turns 18.
He's gotten mostly C and C- for his grades, but he thinks this is enough to go to college.
I am just speechless.
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Lying was a sure spanking offense growing up in our parent's
We had absolute clarity on not lying long before 15/16.
Assume the position was the consequence for lies.
Time for SS-15/16 to exerperience a life of escilating abject misery inducing consequences. As he is too old for spanking, time for zero electronics, losing everything he owns, being sent to school in some humilating clothing that will mortify him, and...
Lather.... rinse.... repeat until she knocks his lies, stealing, etc... off.
See how he likes going to school in coveralls from the local GoodWill or some other notably embarrassing clothing and having no access to a smart phone, the internet, game systems, etc... He is 2yrs from 18. How much misery he experiences in that 2yrs is up to him.
It is the parents role to give hte message, enforce the standards of behavior and performance, and apply the escalating conseuqence that the kid's behavioral choices earn. Stupid decisions, earn stupid prises.
I get that this kid is likely autistic and has ADHD. According to your #s. However, those things are not escuses for tolerating crap behavior.
Even if SS was 5/6, OP should
Even if SS was 5/6, OP should not be spanking him.
DH has already taken SS'
DH has already taken SS' devices (all of them, SS doesn't get to use them unless it is for school work, and no he doesn't need the mp3 player for school work), but that doesn't stop any crap SS is dishing out. Still slacking off homework and housework, still lies to no end.
His lack of effort is reflected on the grades he gets, but he is still not seeing the message. We don't really know what to do.
What consequences does your DH give for these behaviors?
What consequences does you DH give for these behaviors? Because whatever he is doing as far as discipline, clearly isn't working
We took away screen time,
We took away screen time, electronic devices, even sending him to bed early. He is remorseful for that one day, the next day is rinse and repeat (in a bad way) as if SS has no long term memory. (Or just him fighting us really badly, how would i know)
Reward doesn't work, punishment doesn't work. this kid is not motivated in doing ANYTHING other than the sci-fi-out-of-reality that's in his mind. (Again, wanting to build a Time Machine isn't a bad dream, but thinking you can achieve that without knowing basic math and physic is just daydreaming)
Sometimes I think personality traits are genetic, because even though he's not seen his mom for 4 years now, he's acting exactly the same way his mom acts.