How Do I Stop These Thoughts?
I often wake up with thoughts of sincere sympathy for my SD13. I worry for her future, for her development as a human being in a world that (mostly) values honesty and individuality. I imagine her future will be riddled with emotional blowups and lost friends. Or it will be some elaborate scheme where she is just like BM, absolutely hollow and at the “top” of her imaginary world.
Then I feel anger. How could someone be so cruel and manipulative to their daughter? How could BM be such a thief? She has truly handicapped her kid. Stolen her future. She has stolen her very personality by passing on her hate filled heart.
But none of this is under any of my control or even mild influence. So how do I get rid of these thoughts of sympathy that only lead to worry, pain, and anger?
I don’t trust my SD13. Nor do I want a friendship with her. How do I wake up on mornings when she is here for a visit and push those thoughts out of my mind so I can care less and lead an emotionally consistent life?
How do I care less for a child who has proven she is PASed to the point of minimal return?