since the last time I was one here I took a step back from trying to be involved, disengaging, it honestly only made the situation worse. DH and I fought about how I don’t care how everything seems fake and the like. So I went to ca last weekend and SD was also gone with BM for the weekend because they had a trip planned. So DH had an entire weekend to figure his side out after we fought about this stuff. But we let SD go with BM This way we could have SD for Halloween since it’s during the week. 

My fiancé and I have been together three years now, we met at work and started as a fling, I was 21 when we first met. Then as time went on he saw I was pretty decent with his daughter, I honestly blame that on the fact I have 14 nieces I had to help raise, so yeah I’m okay with kids but after so long I lost traction. When we became serious I just sort of froze up and became my mother with better skin tone. I find myself always mad.

I was getting sick of SD's behavior. When she acted out she would make a huge public display and then race to make sure she talked to dad with her lies before I got a chance to talk to him about it. He doesn't like to be bothered at work because it makes a hard job for him even harder and can't carry his phone on him most of the time but he checks it. I would be willing to wait to talk to him after he got home but she would take advantage of this and call him over and over until he would eventually answer. It felt ridiculous and infuriating when he would get mad at me!

DH loves his DD15 and I love DH. He thinks she is wonderful in every way and I think we all feel that about about our own kids to an extent. I try to see her as he sees her. I seek out the positive traits in her and then hold onto them - sometimes desperately. She is very intelligent. She gets good grades and makes a natural leader. She is quick to defend those who are intellectually disadvantaged from being bullied. She is athletic and good at basketball. She supports her teammates and motivates them to do their best.

"You not the boss, your just bossy" her dad would say with a laugh. This would be his response to his daughter when she was 5 years old and standing there with her hands balled into fists at her sides, legs planted together tight and very straight to the ground, her eyes squeezed to mere slits, and her lips pressed tightly together as she threw her tantrum. He would laugh some more and then attend to her to make sure she got what she was wanting. That is unless she had claimed someone had treated her unfairly and in that case he wouldn't laugh.

Okay, so maybe I am being a little harsh or over reacting, but, sometimes I feel like my SD is trying to drive a wedge between me and my spouse, its like my SD wants to bicker with me and wants to make me out to be the bad guy, over little things too! I really think its a phase because she hasn't been like this until the last few months. Maybe? I don't know. Help?

I met my DH 9 years ago and we got married a couple years later. He has 2 daughters who are now 17 and 16 and I have 2 bios who are 17 and 15. I know, 4 teenagers right!!!  I believe at first my dh and I were naive in that we thought we could blend a family. I did not know what I was up against as far as BM went at all. She was unmedicated with huge mental health issues, had disowned a teenage son from another marriage,  and a completely horrible person.