**sucking down a beer as I type-**
I couldn’t find a pair of earrings. I really thought SD13 had stolen them. I asked. She of course said “No.” I brought up (finally!) the stolen jewelry. I asked where it was.
“In that drawer” and she pointed.
“Try again,” I said.
“In my closet,” she answered.
”No, it isn’t in your closet. Because I found it and took it back. You just lied to me. You stole my jewelry, hid it for months and then just lied to me.”
So I’ve been thinking about how SD13 lied to CPS and said her dad physically abused her.
I imagine someday in the future she will report to BM that I am abusive or neglectful in some way to DS. If this happens, I think I will simply say this to SD13,
“You lied about how well I take care of DS. Because you lied about me, you don’t get to be around us as much. So we’ll see you on holidays and that’s it.”
Or not say anything at all except screw you for lying, and then basically disappear out of the house whenever she is here.
SD13 barely says an original thought during her two weekend visits a month at our house. She barely says anything at all. And it is wonderful.
It is like I don’t even have a SD anymore. That’s DH’s daughter, and that’s it. DS is referred to as “her little brother”, but I’m not even worried anymore about her being a bad influence because my DS is smart and I’m wise to who SS13 is slowly becoming.
I don’t go to her extracurriculars (what few there are).
I don’t make much conversation beyond polite small talk.
SD13 has stolen and squirrelled away my jewelry, and as of late, my ID card for a government service. For months, my jewelry was missing. The ID card ended up at her mom’s by some miraculous on-purpose circumstance, so her overjoyed mom got to email DH and ask if it was ours. (Of course it is ours, you soulless twat.)
Before you all are like, “DH should handle this!” know that I agree with you and that DH and I are on our way to see a counselor to get him to STEP IT UP. Lol
I may have hurt DH’s feelings, but the words poured out, the question, “Has anyone ever loved your children enough to tell then the truth?”
The truth about their behavior, about their mother’s lack of a conscience?
So SD13 chose to live with mom FT and she is only here EOW. It really hurt her dad’s, my DH’s feelings but it has been a huge step for us in convenience and privacy.
I really love the change.
since the last time I was one here I took a step back from trying to be involved, disengaging, it honestly only made the situation worse. DH and I fought about how I don’t care how everything seems fake and the like. So I went to ca last weekend and SD was also gone with BM for the weekend because they had a trip planned. So DH had an entire weekend to figure his side out after we fought about this stuff. But we let SD go with BM This way we could have SD for Halloween since it’s during the week.
My fiancé and I have been together three years now, we met at work and started as a fling, I was 21 when we first met. Then as time went on he saw I was pretty decent with his daughter, I honestly blame that on the fact I have 14 nieces I had to help raise, so yeah I’m okay with kids but after so long I lost traction. When we became serious I just sort of froze up and became my mother with better skin tone. I find myself always mad.
I was getting sick of SD's behavior. When she acted out she would make a huge public display and then race to make sure she talked to dad with her lies before I got a chance to talk to him about it. He doesn't like to be bothered at work because it makes a hard job for him even harder and can't carry his phone on him most of the time but he checks it. I would be willing to wait to talk to him after he got home but she would take advantage of this and call him over and over until he would eventually answer. It felt ridiculous and infuriating when he would get mad at me!
DH loves his DD15 and I love DH. He thinks she is wonderful in every way and I think we all feel that about about our own kids to an extent. I try to see her as he sees her. I seek out the positive traits in her and then hold onto them - sometimes desperately. She is very intelligent. She gets good grades and makes a natural leader. She is quick to defend those who are intellectually disadvantaged from being bullied. She is athletic and good at basketball. She supports her teammates and motivates them to do their best.