Having a SD is way harder than I thought
My fiancé and I have been together three years now, we met at work and started as a fling, I was 21 when we first met. Then as time went on he saw I was pretty decent with his daughter, I honestly blame that on the fact I have 14 nieces I had to help raise, so yeah I’m okay with kids but after so long I lost traction. When we became serious I just sort of froze up and became my mother with better skin tone. I find myself always mad. Always yelling at my SD for something she forgot, how slow she is (not mentally just like physically the slowest person you’ve ever seen a sloth in human form), for always being on her phone then complaining her head hurts, she never remembers the rules of our house when she comes over every weekend.
He has full custody but we work early in the morning and can’t make her bus and until she’s old enough to walk to her stop we’re forced to have her go to her BM house during the week. I think a lot of it has to do with her BM always talking trash on us, telling her horrible things about us. But she’s just on a high Christian horse because she’s a recovered meth head and found god.
She only makes my SD feel shitty about everything she does and yet she continues to praise the ground her BM walks on. No matter what rude things she says to her. I may be mean and ask her to actually do chores and be a able bodied person but at least I don’t comment on her looks and choice of clothes and etc which her mother does constantly! She’s always crying about how she’s mean to her then will ignore it until the next weekend she can complain about her to me. But then all the while she won’t say anything or fight for herself there. But here she will ignore me and be rude to me and just overall acting out.
Today was the hardest. We got her after work yesterday and I spilled a gallon of milk right when we got in the house, so we had to hurry and put the remaining gallon in another container. I know she has a really BAD habit of opening several containers of the SAME GD THING so I made it a point to say “hey look here, there’s a gallon already open so please use that one and don’t open the other until this is empty.” She acknowledged me and we all went on our way. So come tonight. I go in the fridge for some milk and I see the BRAND NEW EFFING GALLON IS OPEN. Brand new. In the front of the fridge. Mocking me. So I wrap my rage up and stuff it down in my throat and text my fiancé to see if he maybe opened the new gallon. Preparing to ask him why, jokingly of course, and go on about my night but he replies no he hasn’t touched the milk since we got it. So I now know she did it, she did EXACTLY WHAT I ASKED HER NOT TO. So I go to her room and just ask and she says she hasn’t had any milk at all, so now we have a ghost who opens new milk jugs just to piss me off right? Right. I get a little upset and tell her that she doesn’t need to lie because I already asked her father and then she does it; she shuts down and just stares at me with a blank expression.
Dear god if I would have looked at my mother that way I would have gotten the attitude slapped right out of me.
i feel myself getting angrier but I stop and just tell her she needs to go to bed, I text my fiancé about it and he is so great right now I swear he is finally getting it. He is going to talk to her and figure out this lying and doing exactly what I say not to stuff. I don’t even know what to do anymore she completely shuts down when we get loud with her at all, she won’t make eye contact and acts like she gets beat, I have NEVER seen him lay a finger on her so that is just ridiculous for her to act like that, I just hope he sticks to his guns and does something about it I’m so tired of feeling like the bad guy who’s making everything up.
This isn’t the first time either. she has been on this kick of doing things I ask her not to then acting like she forgot I said no, she’s ten years old there is no reason for her to act like an infant, I feel like she knows what she is doing and is doing it to spite me and make me look insane but I finally caught her on something I know she did. I took her phone and am now waiting for my fiancé to get home so we can discuss this further, hopefully at least. I wasn’t that slow at ten and I wasn’t smart either but I did have common sense of what to do and not do.
It seems like she just wants to be yelled at so her father and I will fight about me being too controlling and she’s just a kid and his baby and blah blah blah, he never sees what she is really doing. She can’t seriously be that forgetful right??? Am I just a psycho SM?!? Ugh I need help