Adult SD feels we are harassing her. Help!!
I was married for 23 years and had 4 daughters. My ex and I agreed on most of our parenting and they are all respectuful, responsible and appreciative of their upbringing and 3 have launched successfully on their own, our youngest BD is 23 and has just taken a break from school and has taken a full time job and lives with her Dad. I have been in a relationship for over 10 years and engage to my Fiancé for the past 6. HIs adult daughter 25 still lives with us. She left school close to 5 years ago and has had different jobs off an on since then.She finally took a full time position as an assistant store manger at the Mall. His parenting style is non existent. He has spoiled his daughter if she doesn't get what she wants she freaks out and plays the victim. She is estranged from her Mother who was not good to her while she was growing up. Her Dad tries to make up for it by giving in to her every whim. She is never satisfied, spoiled, and if I try to suggest he say NO , she will tell him to have me step back and stop harassing her. I have tried to have the 3 of us sit together to discuss expectations and he tells me he will talk to her and then nothing gets done. I am beyond frustrated and ready to give up on the relationship as I cannot stand by and watch her get everything she wants while I myself work 3 different jobs to pay for the majority of the bills while my BC have to make the sacrifices to be on their own and sometimes struggle while she lives under my roof, pays nothing because she says she can't afford it but gets her nails done twice a month, goes to the hair salon, goes to sports events, goes away with her friends, comes home with a bottle of wine almost every night not to mention supplying her weed addiction and is a shopaholic but freaked out on us when we asked her to contribute $200 towards room and board. She has a full time job, we still pay for her cell phone, and she was offered health benefits but refused them because it would cost her $100/mo and instead stayed on her Father's health care which cost him an extra $360 a month. I am feeling disrespected, unappreciated, being taken advantage of and a third wheel in my own home.