I do. There are times when I genuinely feel for DH. Dealing with his ex and his son- not easy. He made decisions in his life by being with her and choosing to have a child with her. I think people go into things with the best intentions (sometimes) and the outcome isn't what you expect.
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Is this a bad idea? I'm thinking since DH really wants to avoid court and if things get messy it'll end badly most likely. So maybe have DH message BM and offer her some extra under the table CS at the end of weekend visitations? Is that a horrible idea? How much would be appropriate to offer? We wouldn't want to offer too much obviously. Moneys not exactly endless here. And they're not really struggling at all but who couldn't use more money? I think it mite work. Especially if she thinks it's something her and my DH come up with and not me lol. She hates me so much. Idk. Just thinking.
So, a lot of people were really awesome and supportive when I posted last month. I came back from vacation and started looking for a room to rent, and I found one. I still have one week living with bf and his son, but my anxiety is so much less knowing that this will not be my home in a week.
Mostly for my personal therapy of typing it out. I have one friend that is a SM that gets it and this amazing board. So for now this is my therapy although I might seek out in person therapy because my anger towards this person grows exponentially.
I've fricken had it with HCBM and her bullshit. My hubby has blocked her on all forms of communication other than she can call and leave a voicemail, because if she's able to email or text we get rant after rant about the pettiest bullshit, then she'll call 2 days later and appologize for being in one of her "moods again" *cough*bi-polar*cough*
DH is still getting mopey with his guilt regarding SD sometimes. That he could have done more when she was younger, blah blah. Idk what more he could have done honestly and I think the guilt is disproportionate to his actions. I'm losing patience in dealing with it. Regardless of what happened 8, 9 10 years ago we are where we are and SD is a mini of BM. I know that sounds cold and it kind of is but...I really am just wishing he could get over it.
So I've written plenty over the last 9 months of BM and SD complaining about how we/our home isn't good enough and so forth. Last month SD didn't come over at all. I messaged BM to check if SD was still coming this weekend and if so what time and wow what a 180. Perfectly friendly and agreeable, SD can be there any time, etc.
ETA: it could be because she thinks we're going to the inlaws. ...
When I picked SS11 up from school today BM was there picking up her other kids. Fine. We run into that from time to time. But when we left this truck pulls out JUST before I have a chance to do so and of course it's BM driving The StepDad's truck. I say to SS11, is that your Mom? He says "no it's The StepDad" I said oh, I didn't realize he had a ponytail and was picking up your little brother. He of course knew it was his Mom, but wasn't sure why she would be in that vehicle. He said "are they back together?" I told him maybe she was just borrowing his truck.
What the heck?
Last winter SD bio sister got COVID at BM house so naturally I thought SD should stay with BM for the quarantine (why expose two households right?) This turned out to be an absolute fight with BM. DH got texts like "I can't believe your going to allow a little illness stop you from seeing your daughter." We had to go as far as contacting my boss and having her give me the protocol for quarantine for my work. Then we photographed it and sent it to BM. She gave in and kept SD at home for 5 days then took her for a rapid Covid test that came back negative.
EX's bad parenting is officially biting him in the ass. Today I received a courtesy call from FSD12's (FORMER step daughter 12) phone informing me that she won't have a phone for probably months if not more. Why you may ask?