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Recent Blog Posts
I have been totally disengaged from SD14 for several years now. Not even a simple greeting or eye contact when she is physically present. Shno longer asks for rides, buying things, etc.
SD14 sends me a text out of the blue yesterday. "I left a trash bag on the porch. I'll get it when I come back."
I still had her contact saved in my phone. The last text I saw was 2022. 3 years ago! No happy birthdays, Merry Christmases or anything inbetween. But she randomly texts me about a trash bag???
I posted a little while back about DH, concerns about possible early signs of dementia or ADD, etc. He saw a doctor and was quickly diagnosed with ADD and OCD (the OCD dx surprised me). It was easier for DH to mention ADD to the dr rather than express concerns about dementia, so I don't think that ever came up. It's still a concern. At least he's open to looking at what's going on and doing something about it.
I cannot do this anymore, the frustration, the resentment, trying to force myself to be okay in a blended family when it goes against everything inside me. I'm not cut out to be in a blended family especially when it's someone being in the house full time with a non existent BM but regardless it's my own problem and my own fault, I continued with something and tried to move forward with it and I've had to lay in the own bed I've made.
I’ve really pulled back and disengaged, but some things still get under my skin. One of them is the obligatory “Happy Holidays” or “Happy Birthday” messages. Of course, I don’t have to send them, but guilt creeps in. And if I don’t, you know there will be backlash. It’s happened before in my decade-plus of being a stepmom—the punishment didn’t fit the crime.
My dad is a journal-er. He has been for as long as I can remember. I have forbidden him to dispose of his journal books and Daytimers as I consider them treasures. With the advent of e-mail he has taken to doing a weekly publication of what he refers to as ... The Blurp. Lol.
Despite my desire to fully NGAF (or be ambivalent) about SDiablas comings and goings, I still ruminate about how much they annoy the crap out of me more than I want to. Hopefully getting it all out here and commiserating will help me let it go!
So here's the latest news. OSD29 and YSD27 stay out of the country will soon be coming to an end.
DH relayed to me that OSD will be continuing on her travels alone. Thank-the-heavens! bye bye
BUT YSD27 is coming back to our home town. Why? 2 stupid reasons.
To Girhippoville where Mr. Not So Neutral and his enmeshed adult son, the Mechanic live. Uncle Kinky was always embarrassed of his hometown being too hick and rube. He moved to the "big city" which is really an inner ring suburb of the closest mid-sized city here decades ago before I even knew Chef.
He became frightened of all the smash and grabs/carjackings in his inner ring suburban neighborhood and sold his house mid last November only to buy a plot of land back in the Old Homestead.
SD arrived safe and sound to DH this weekend. DD and I did not go and will not be going for drop off either because of the measles going around and DD being vulnerable since she is just 8 months tomorrow! The good news about DH being solo is that SD was very chatty in the car and giving him answers that we have been long waiting for. So it seems that BM is working as a home health aide which makes more sense on scheduling conflicts we have had with BM on calls for the last couple of months.
I have been MIA and not able to blog in quite some time. My last post has some background. Just going through a big life change career wise that took on an unexpected curveball. Been occupied with saying goodbye to my previous place of employment that had its own kind of grief to process. Plus worry about making ends meet while job searching and getting establishd someplace new.
The stress of interviewing and trying to get some kind of soft landing, plus other personal non step related issues thrown in between has been a hell of a lot.
And man it feels good! I am done with putting others feelings before mine own just to "be nice" my time is valuable and if I don't wanna spend it with in-laws who secretly don't like me then don't blame me, but they do! lol I use to always put my MIL and SIL feelings before My
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