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Hi, everyone! I am new here. I am here mostly to vent. I have been in a relationship with my DH for 8 years, but we've only been married for just over 2 years. My stepson (now 16) was 8 years old when DH and I got together. At the time, DH had been separated from BM for 3 years, but their divorce wasn't final until the summer after we got together, 2017. Legally, DH has custody every week, Friday and Saturday night. Unofficially, we've had SS16 from Thursday-Sunday since 2018.
This weekend was OSS's BD. He's early 30's. It was inconvenient for us to go to the lake (1/2 hr. from where OSS lives) but we went to take him to dinner to celebrate his bday. Obviously, DH paid for dinner for all 7 of us--OSS, SDIL, 2 SGDs, DS 17, DH, & me. It went fine. As usual, all discussion was around OSS's life, no questions about ours.
I've been SUPER busy so have not been here much at all...work has been awful (great job, great people, bad government decisions/rules), but for now I still have a job...we'll see how that is in the next 6 - 12 months.
I posted about SD63's recent Dr appt where she bombarded me with her health issues (tremors, leaking, infected breast implants, heart issues, knee requiring replacement along with the Barrett's esophagus, ulcer and anemia), car problems ("tell Dad it will cost $800 to get it to pass inspection") and problems with her one remaining kid who still speaks to her. Following that day, he and I both called several days to follow up but she never answered or returned calls. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
From my last posts, you can see the history. One of her last texts to me also stated, "Thank you for showing me what’s not for me A person who is for me will not sit up there and screenshot old messages between me and my ex and try to throw that shit up in every argument They will not make me choose between them and my son They will embrace that I’m a single mom They will not get overwhelmed for the littlest things We will be able to communicate healthy and not always have to fight !
Thank you for all the good advice and sharing similar scenarios to mine. Google and Reddit has helped me open my eyes to other healthy experiences of blended families and I realized mine would never be one of them.
DH just announced that he wants to go to SGS's high school graduation. This is the oldest son of SD who isn't talking to DH because... don't know. We used to have a good relationship with SGS but in the last few years no communication, no thank yous for gifts, etc. Expect that's about loyalty to his mother.
They are a plane ride away. When is the graduation? He doesn't know. Do we need tickets or is there a limit on seats? Don't know. He's going to call SD. Who likely won't pick up.
I have a great tenant family. The mother is very much like AwesomeDIL...very attentive yet she doesn't spoil her son.
Her son is also the same age as DGD, 4. Chef was over there repairing something and he overheard the mother enforcing boundaries and Chef chimed in "Aw come on Mom , let him do what he wants."
The mother replied "Nope!" Good for her. Chef was raised a spoiled feral baby of two blended families brat with elderly parents who were too tired to properly parent him. He totally spoiled his own 3 brats (for as much as that got him.)
Backstory, Chef has a soft spot for a 40 yr old former coworker, "Davey" (names have been changed for anonymity) But he normally goes by David or Dave. Not that this matters, but "Davey" has a wife and kids of his own. He's generally unlikable but will talk a blue streak about his poor finances if prompted. Chef always infantizes those who he is a sucker for, thus the Dave-"y"
So I'll start with this blog is debating wether to tell SD or not.
SD turned 18 last week. She had plans with her BF (naturally) to go out to eat. Normally BM takes her out once a year on her birthday but not this year... SD told BM she would stop by after dinner and BM told her she couldn't... I found that interesting.
SD and her boyfriend were leaving our house to go out and BM was calling. Where they were going was 10 minutes from our house.
10 minutes later I get a phone call.
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