Hey guys. I'm new here and I'm not a Step parent. However, my wife is and she's the main reason I joined this page. She's constantly saying I don't understand how she feels, and she's right. I'm hoping that I can get some insight to what she's going through and how to handle these situations in the kindest yet most fair ways possible. It's hard being a parent to children from different women with two completely different parenting styles. And when my wife and ex can't coexist, that's even harder.
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Recent Blog Posts
Met my friend for dinner last night and got the new poop.
Penny and Mr. Penny are selling their trailor in Arizona and moving to...
Let's hope they do some facking research. Any bets on how long it will be before they scurry back across the border? Gads.
SO and I had a good, long talk about my ultimatum last night. Really positive. I paraphrased some of the feedback you guys gave and I think it put things into perspective for him some. I felt really heard when I told him that I can't continue in a relationship where I have to blow up in order to get my point to sink in. I also told him that I've done a lot of work to understand his family, step families in general, parenting in general, all of it, and that by not doing the same due diligence, he's putting an unfair share of the emotional labor on me.
But...my bioS19 was home when I got in yesterday. Saw the Valentine chocolates on the table and asked where they came from. I told him SD19 came by to visit and drop of DH's Christmas gift and she brought the chocolates as well. He asked how that went...so I briefly gave him a summary. He said "Did she tell you what she did on New Years Eve?" I said No, why...
He saw on Roomie's snapchat pictures of SD19 and roomie and a handful of guys all smoking weed and drinking.
Not a shocker.
So I've kept this info to myself.
Should I tell what BS19 saw or let it go?
My home will be skid free soon. They are leaving for school all of them. Its been probably a week since there were no skids in the house. SD20 is in college so she doesn't have class every day. Ss11 stayed home with the sniffles yesterday. I was about to lose my mind. Finally today they are all gone. It may only be for the school day but its such a relief to have them all gone. I still hear sd17 in her room making noise but Im sure shes leaving any minute and that skid weight will be off my shoulders.
PS my husband is gone too : ))
Yay I have enjoyed the quiet since the chaos at Christmas (story in my first blog post). Skids haven't really been around, choosing to spend time with friends and other family instead. W2s are rolling out... it's DH year to claim the kids. As I stated in a previous blog every time it's our turn DH is bombarded with requests to pay for all sorts of things that the kids want. DH just got a text last night from CrazyLady (BM) that one of the kids will be calling him this afternoon... I'm sure it's to ask for something that she doesn't want to pay for.
So for those of you who know we are in final stages of settlement. Hubby transferred all funds for purchase of our home in my country of birth that our 2 kids are going to school in, home is in my name since skids have as per bio mums instructions told him to sell property and transfer into their names only.
well today agent tells me the current owners of home we purchased and supposed to move into early-mud next week has hit a minor hiccup.
DH has historically been down about his kids not following in his footsteps in things. But DS has, not intentionally, done a lot of the stuff DH did as a teen (like sports and activities). The only thing the skids did like DH that DS did not is hold a job while in HS. That's tough to do when you're in a lot of activities.
There's a new thing now. DS is taking an intro class for DHs profession to see if he likes it. (DS might have tried it anyway without ever meeting DH.) Neither skid is even remotely interested.
I have noticed a lot lately that DH is asking YSS a lot of questions about OSS and MSS (who have been PASd for 3 or more years). He is doing it in a friendly and non confrontational manner and acting like it is just Norma conversation. However, it is making YSS uncomfortable. Last week I was witness to these questions and I started cringing. Not because YSS showed much objection but just because I could feel how odd it all seemed.
Well YSS finally told DH he didn’t want “put in the middle” the last time DH was asking about YSS and MSS.
My 19 year old SD who lives with us full time, doesn't do anything in our house to help out. She goes to school and works part time but doesn't do anything around the house. The only thing she's been asked to do is to clean her room and get rid of two laundry baskets full of clothes in the garage that have been there for over a year. Recently I've been complaining about her more because I'm sick of her not doing anything and my husband not doing anything about her selfish, ungrateful, inconsiderate, disrespectful, thinks she's entitled to do what she wants, attitude.