So in my last blog I posted that DH had caved, well, he ended up NOT caving.
He took SD14 BACK to BM's on Saturday morning and she didn't come back until Sunday early evening. AND DH had confirmation that she skipped school on Wednesday (SD12 said she wasn't sick) and DH somehow also confirmed this.
He totally caved.
He told SD14 he'd help drive her to get to the other high school. That she still wants to be at our house during the week but only if "no one else is here." WTF does that mean?
No discussion of room cleaning, anything.
I'm done, so freaking disengaged from that situation it'll make his head spin. No help from me at all. No covering any expenses like I sometimes help him with (he pays me back but no more Cover Credit).
I'll take control of all cleaning rules, anything left out anywhere is GONE.
First a step back...I cannot make this stuff up.
Remember I was having a terrible time making sure the dang screen stayed on the bathtub drain in the SDs bathtub, that someone kept removing it? And I told DH that it was ALL on him at that point - I did end up permanently putting a screen in about a month ago though - that any issues HE'D have to solve on his own?
Well, now we know why SD14 was so fixated on spending more time at “mommy’s.”
She announced it last night.
She wants to go to the high school nearer her mother, where more of her friends go – who live closer to BMs.
Because, #1 reason, most of her friends at our location are either not going to the school (for good reasons like going to COLLEGE already) or have announced they are ‘dumping’ the current friend group (tried to tell her that’s ridiculous and you don’t want to be friends with them anyway).
So the SDs haven't been with us for much time the last several weekends and I've hardly seen them during the week. This is after DH's "definitive going to change things statement."
I gave him benefit of the doubt, with reservations. Annnnnnnnd I'm still out.
All of this happened last night in the course of only 3 hours.
After the other days' discussion with SD14 (see prior blog post) about her staying with BM more, DH was having trouble sleeping. I stayed quiet, but when I came home Friday, he was ready to talk.
He's really upset and angry with both SDs. He told me some things I was not aware of, like SD11(almost 12) not talking to him, of same SD pretty much running ahead of him to get away when they were going somewhere, both SDs when getting out of his car just slamming doors and leaving, no goodbye or thanks. He said he's had it.
DH and I were talking about the SD's schedule for the next month and I immediately stopped talking when he started asking me questions about it (I was just trying to get the Winter Break on the calendar). Since I have ZERO clue, I said that I couldn't discuss it at all. He agreed and asked SD14 to come over. I left the table Very Quickly.
One of my kitties woke me up at around 3:00 am yesterday, sneezing, congested, wheezing, and likely feverish. She was making a lot of noise and trying to huddle up next to me. She had been sneezing a bit for the last two days, but I had switched litter brands and was ready to switch back...in any case, I stayed home and took her to the vet.
She's got a potential sinus/respiratory infection.
Not in her lungs, it was caught early, and likely not an infected tooth.
Vet put her on antibiotics and decongestants.
Overall it was fairly low-key.
But DH was really, really distracted over job-related things (and his ADD does not help) and I had to pick up some slack which was irritating, but I didn't over-step.
I made sure SDs cleaned up the bathtub and clean out their sink/tub drain. Minor complaining but they did it. Also made sure SD14 cleaned it again during the weekend, but haven't been home to check to see if SD11 did the same (betting not, but that'll be her first task on Wednesday). DH has been supporting me in this so that's progress.
Is DH actually seeing the entitlement?
He's had several conversations with me in the recent past, the latest the other night, about his "issues" with the SDs not treating him well; i.e. acting like he's supposed to do all for them but he gets nothing in return.
Apparently they have been ignoring him when he says good morning/good night, when he drops them off for the transfer to BM or other events, they leave the car with no words for him, even when he initiates, SD14 is ignoring his phone calls/texts (BM pays for phone), don't do what he's asked them to do, and on and on.