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The Definition of insanity is...

Cover1W's picture

Doing the same thing over and over with the same bad results, right?


DH told me last night that he gave YSD18 a good amount of cash for a graduation gift, in a card given to her on grad day. She said nothing to him while she was here (Monday morning - Wednesday morning) and he asked her on the way to her dropoff point if she had opened the card - "Yes." He was upset there was not one thank you or acknowledgement of the gift. I told him, "You need to call her out on it the next time you see her." And dropped it - because he should have called her out on it while she was here or at the very least when she didn't thank him when she told him she had opened the card. FFS - I guess you don't want to upset the princess!

And THEN he tells me he was feeling bad that he hadn't done the same when OSDnow20 graduated high school (I though he did send her a couple hundred but I digress...) and he decided to get a cashiers check for her for the same amount!  He gave this to YSD / BM to mail because he doesn't have her address (she stayed in college town this summer). He asked YSD if the card had been mailed yet - "No, it's still on the kitchen counter." I stared gape-mouthed at him, incredulously asked "WHY would you do that if she doesn't talk with you AND BM could care less?" He's just lost the money since it's on the cashiers check. He's losing it. I'm going to seriously talk with him that he MUST find a new counselor because this cycle must end.

I also decided to update one of my retirement accounts to go to my sister/niece because THEY should have it if I go first; DH's kids don't deserve the extra. I'll keep DH afloat but nothing else.



strugglingSM's picture

And based on your OSD's history and he will never find out if she got the money. 

Harry's picture

Hope he happy in his dysfunctional life.   He never going to change. You must protect yourself for retirement.. 

Little Type Amy's picture

That sounds like a smart decision in regards to your retirement ( and other assets) I have decided to bear than in mind to follow suit. Just leave enough to help out my DH Only..and not one red cent of my hard earned money leftover to go to enabling my dysfunctional, toxic Stepspawn or the following generations. They can deal. 

thinkthrice's picture

Maybe you can buy him a costume disguise kit in case he needs to go undercover at another of SD's shindigs in the future for yet another pandering session.

MorningMia's picture

"Please walk all over me." Oh dear! And I am with you about your money. In fact, we saw an attorney in part so that I could ensure that the ingrates don't get anything of mine when I go. 

Rags's picture

He can take the receipt for the cashier's check to the bank and have it canceled. I had to do that a year ago when we sold our home and we gave the buyers a repair allowance by cashier's check. I forgot to sign it so it was not cashable. I had to cancel it and have a new one issued which I signed and overnighted to the title company for closing.

As for your retirement accounts, here is to hoping he goes first so you do not have to fund any benefit to his failed family progeny.