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Parent Teacher Conferences Always Drama

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

DH emailed SD's teacher about two weeks back inquiring what days the parent teacher conferences are on and expressing the difficulty of scheduling with BM especially with the 3 hour time difference. This teacher also wants to do a single parent teacher conference, okay fine, we have accepted that's how it's going to be. Unfortunately we didn't realize that we are traveling the whole time on one of the days on a plane to arrive ahead of SD for our fall break trip. Which also means DH can't take the time off work the day before because he's taking time off for SD's fall break so he asked the teacher if I could attend instead and that I have always attended with him. 
 

Luckily SD's teacher is okay with this just asked us to speak with BM to find out what time works for us. DH messaged BM asking if she would be available on x day for the parent teacher conferences. BM assumed they were doing separate ones and how difficult it is for 4 parents to get all their questions answered in one conference. DH just told BM unfortunately this teacher won't do separate and last year the principal backed the teacher on not doing separate either. DH reasked BM if that day would work and she gave a vague answer that didn't say one way or another. Aka BM is trying to get away with having her own and leaving DH to not have one. 
 

Before DH got a chance to email the teacher and just say to let us know when BMs is and I will be available, the teacher emailed back saying that BM indicated that this time on the day I am available worked for her and if it worked for me. Which it does so now we have the date and time for the conference. We aren't letting BM know that it will just be me since she couldn't bother to have an actual conversation about trying to schedule it. Just really was trying to not be drama to the school about it this year, but also did not want to miss another conference because of only doing one conference. 

Comments

Yesterdays's picture

That sounds horrible to deal with. I can't fathom why a school would say it's not possible to have separate interviews from the other set of parents. That is ridiculous to me.

Honestly... The schools here in our area are not versed at all with blended family situations. They don't seem to get it.

I think it's fair that only you is going to the meeting and BM might not take it well. But also if that's the way the school wants and it and is so rigid about it all then you are just doing what you can and no one can have a problem with it, you've been put into the situation that way. 

Winterglow's picture

Let BM throw her hissy fit and stomp out if she sees fit. Sit there and wait for the storm to pass and  continue with the conference as if nothing had happened. 

NotYourAverageStepMama's picture

what our options are. DH was unable to have a parent teacher conference last year because the only time that worked for BM was when her DH was available and DH was literally out in the field for work during work hours where there was no phone signal and neither BM or the school would budge to accomodate him on changing it or giving him a different time/date. So we did not want to miss yet another one so me attending on DH's behalf is the best we can do. Honeslty, unless something is brought up that I have a question on, I probably won't even say a word just like if DH was there. Since BM grew up in the samll town where the school is, she knows MOST of the staff at the school so we try to just keep our mouth shut and cause as minimal drama anymore unless it was something really important.

Rags's picture

Spinning up BM, actively engaging with the teachers and school, etc....

Mosking

Not that we ever had anything remotely like what you are experiencing with BM, etc...

No one from the SpermClan ever made any attempt to  recognize or participate in anything in SS's life. The only mention of school from them was ranting that we were lying about the school schedule to take some of their visitation time.  Nope.... We never did that.  SpermGrandHag would demand we send SS's school schedule. We never did. She could call the school or look up the schedule on the district website.  We were not her secretaries and her lack of knowledge we never helped fill.  And...... ranting that they were not paying a Cent for Military Boarding School for SS when we made the choice to avail him that opportunity.  Not even a graduation card for him when he finished HS.  I don't think he even send them a graduation announcement.

Interestingly, due to how young DW was when she had SS, she was 16, and due to our age difference (12yrs), PT conferences were some interesting events.  More than once over the years the teacher and school administrators would call me by SS's last name and assume that DW was StepMom.  That would piss DW off to no end. She would adamantly correct them. "I am not Mrs (SPermidiot's last name) and my husband is not Mr. (SpermIdiot's last name)."  I would laugh. Not that being called by the POS SpermIdiot's last name was anything I enjoyed.