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Chmmy's Blog

Stuck home with a sick kid

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My family (mom, aunts, cousins) Christmas is Friday and then i leave town Saturday....no DH, no skids. Just me n my youngest bio son yay.

I have to have everything done for Christmas, cooking, shopping & wrapping, by Friday and I'm stuck home with a fake sick kid. I cant even wrap cuz I have everything at my mom's cuz she has space.

Sad

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It's so sad to read these blogs.  I read about another divorce today. Definitely a fear I will lose my DH. Ive been married 6 months together over 2 years. I see my future in some of these stories. Skids that grow up with no consequences and are not functional adults. We cant live like this forever with me constantly the bad guy, criticizing the skids, trying to set rules or consequences that DH cant follow through with and then the defensiveness sets in or he tries criticizing my kids who never lived with us and are college grads, independent, functional adults.

Hard to love even you own kids at times

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Years ago, my girlfriend was going to have brain surgery to remove a tumor. One of the risks was losing her memory . One of her biggest fears was forgetting her children and not being able to love them again. They were preteen and teens and not at a pleasant age. She actually confided in me she didnt think she could love them if they didnt come out of her body. Lol

I guess thats how we feel about the skids. We would like to love them but it cant be forced. I think the younger you get them the better the bond but BMs still get in the way.

Here Comes the Weekend

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Another weekend that BM cant take the kids. SD10 has basketball at 8pm Saturday so right smack in the middle of the weekend. She doesn't even have to make an excuse this time, it's been given to her.

I guess I'll have to find excuses to get out of the house again. The gym only gives me so much time! I remember a time I looked forward to the weekend.

Anyone else use excuses to get out? Care to share?

Have to break the news to DH

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Christmas 2016....DH & I had just starting dating and he recently got custody of his 4 kids. He really wanted me to be a part of his family Christmas morning. He bought them tons of gifts that I thought they didnt deserve. I also bought them gifts from me & my boys. They tore through the gifts with entitlement and basically kept asking what else til they ran out of gifts to open. I was appalled especially when I was told batteries is a stupid gift.

Bonus

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There is a big bonus to disengagement and just staying out of the house. I go to the gym to work out a lot more. It's a great excuse to get away and since the gym is close to my parents of course I stop by and waste more time. I actually lost a few pounds this month...bonus!

Are things really that bad

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While stewing about the skids ruining part of my weekend with the bios who I dont see very often, they got jobs out of town, i need to take a moment to pray for the family of Officer Jimenez of the Chicago Police Department whose life was taken a week ago protecting others when a man shot his girlfriend at Mercy hospital.

Safety first

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Blizzard conditions have caused all of the schools in the area to preemptively close tomorrow..so adding another day of skids to the already looong Thanksgiving weekend. It's too bad my bio son and I are snowed in over at my parents house so DH will have to take the day off work and stay home with the skids. News channels are saying stay off the roads. Safety first. 

Fake-giving still not over

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After hosting Thanksgiving for 30, his family & mine, we are now hosting a 2nd Thansgiving for some of my extended family. Just hors d'oeuvres, snacks & pizza. When DH was ordering pizza for the family he asked each of the skids what they wanted. SD16 got chicken tenders, SS10 got pasta & SS11 got his own small pizza. I thought we were doing pizza and home made hore d'oeures cuz to save a little cash over catering.

I can't take it that his kids are more special than anyone and then I blame the kids for being entitled assholes.

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