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Recent Blog Posts
Happy Friday Eve, STalkers! It's a balmy 51 degrees outside, a nice breeze, and some clouds (rain coming in). IOW, it's shorts and flip-flop weather! Yes, yes, I'm a Finn who has shards of ice running through her veins. I'm in a quirky mood, so... Naturally, I am thankful for the basics in life: home, job, clothes, food, car, health, etc. Today I want to express my thanks for the atypical.
I am thankful for:
I know I don't post about her much, she is mostly non-existent.
Last night I was talking to SS21 about who had called him with Happy Birthday's- Of course my family called and sung happy bday (we all do it) which he thought was weird and off key LMAO. He talked to MIL and got texts from SIL's.
After a year of lockdowns, I made plans for DS and I to go in some trips together. Prior to COVID the last trips we went on YSD completely ruined with her disruptive, disrespectful tantruming behavior. I still have PTSD from the experience.
I made a promise to DS I would make it up to him, since we all had a horrible time.
I have never hid my feelings or intentions from SO. So I was completely taken a back when he mentioned bringing YSD!!!
He must be insane.
.. okay technically it was this morning. I had a dream me & DH were at some gathering of friends at a public venue, and DH got really mad at me & was raging at me. A police officer heard, came over, and DH was even angrier as he got taken away (arrested?), blaming me.
After he was gone, I felt ashamed & guilty. But the other people who were there & had witnessed the whole scene all told me it wasn't my fault... and I felt so relieved.
The title says it: being around SS is getting worse.
Months ago I had a conversation with DH about SS4's clingy behavior with me and his possible speech delay, suggesting DH to take an appointment with SS's pediatrician.
So I told DH about my convo with SS11 and he flipped. He's so angry at BM for alienating SS11 from his StepSister and making SS11 feel like he can't talk to his other stepsister about what's going on.
He said he recently watched a newscast which claims when a child is made to believe their words could cause problems in the family and so they arent allowed to speak about those problems, it's a form of child abuse.
He was ready to message BM in their parenting app that minute but I asked him not to as I know that would be the end of SS11's safe place to talk/vent.
Ugh. Don't know why I keep trying. My SD (17) is literally Eeyore a total downer. Has lived w me full time for 4 years. Tonight told me this is not her home and she has no home. I'm super glad to hear that as I am the main breadwinner and support the debbie downer who does almost no homework, chores and is depressed all the time.
I blame no one but myself -- I expected the Brady bunch miracle and tried hard. I'm a prisoner in my own house. Can't wait til she goes to college. I HOPE she goes to college. She won't discuss it too stressful. Ugh!!!
He's like a different person half the time his kids are here. Grumpy, irritable. He says he also goes in sad mode. Nitpicks and micromanaging. Sometimes the main reason I don't like his kids here are because of how he is when they're here.
For the life of me I can't figure out why SD16 is here right now!! She is on Spring break so she didn't have to get here right after school got out. DH is still working so he's not here. I'm still working ( or was trying to when she waltzed in) and she had her own car so she could have left her moms whenever she wanted.
Just once it would be nice if she showed up around dinner time. Not in the middle of the day!!
I swear it's because BM and DH are so freaking rigid about visitation she just takes after them.