I will admit that when I'm doing something that's a challenge and I'm nearing the finish, I'm not always strong with the mental game. If it's a tough bike ride, let's say, the last 5-10 miles feel like an eternity. I start to anticipate the relief and rest I'm about to experience. This approach generally applies to challenges of any type in my life, but I'm going to make a concerted effort not to let the anticipation of seeing my SO next week feed into my anxiety.
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In my last post, i talked about last SS visit and how things gone well with him.
He seemed to enjoy the weekend his father planned to him (activities, gift for good grades etc..). Plus, we decided to cut off his phone (last post for more details) and he said that it was great
This morning, DH called BM to know how was SS after this great weekend. And he was absolutely shocked by the answer.
SS said to BM that his father was so tired he spent the weekend sleepling and ignoring him. That he did nothing with us, and that it was so boring.
So, today, SS10 went back to BM's house. This evening, DH went into his room to put something away and then yelled. He found -- well -- let's just say that there was "solid" evidence that SS had used the back of his closet as a toilet at some point in the last few days.
There was a problem a couple of years ago where SS was going in the shower or in his pants. Then nothing. Then, a couple of weeks ago, the shower happened again (once -- SS was still here so DH made him clean it). Now this.
Yep. DH planned and executed his own Father's Day brunch. I adore this man so of course helped. I can't/won't get into details but it was not a celebration of DH it was a celebration of OSS. So weird. Let's hope we get back to the status quo of not planning anything in honor asap.
I began spending more time with SO when my Son would go over – this was over 8 months or so. Just mostly on a Saturday arvo, where we’d sit and have a chat before I’d head back to my place. Most of these times were also when the twins were around.
My eldest Son told me that SO was interested, and my automatic response was “oh hell no! he has TWO – not ONE – but TWO DAUGHTERS – and they are TWINS ! Are you insane?!! Do you think I am? Fuck no!”
So... Little Idiot (SD21) sent her father her usual "Happy Fathers Day. I love you!" text. That is it. No card and certainly no gift. Just a single text.
It doesn't matter to me and DH says "That is fine! I don't need a gift or card." Ok cool ... except ... from ME he expects a card and gift and to make it a special day for him!
I keep wondering is there any pluses. Last night was a huge fight . BM was an hour late dropping off SS10 after her 1 Day with him. I had a meeting so naturally I waited untill I couldn't wait then I left hubby texts me ss will be home in 1 hr well I'm not so tell BM to bring him latter like 9pm when I'll be home. Hubby seems to be very beta male with BM im over it. He starts texting me how could I not be there for his son. Well maybe I have a life n u and ur BM need to stick to a schedule for the benefit of all of us. She manipulates him so bad.
SS came to spend father day at home.
We decided to forbid his cellphone in our house, as MIL and SIL don't stop texting him to know what happens here.
It was just amazing ! SS was completely different ! Just as he was before. Nice, kind, polite ! Wouaou !
We explained to him why we forbid the phone : to avoid any drama. Phone creates occasions to make drama, so we cut off it.
DH and I told the boys that ET's DH left. Not out of spite, but out of pity and concern. She has been trying to spend time with OSS, so DH and I were trying to say, "hey, if she asks to see you, perhaps consider it because she's going through a hard time." And we wanted YSS to have some compassion when he saw her during his visit.
BM is currently in another state visiting a man she met on the internet. I'm not a religious person, but can everyone pray with me DEAR GOD, BM PLEASE MOVE OUT THERE.
ETA: I can't even imagine how MIL would lose her sh*t if SD lived halfway across the country. She hates traveling too.