This was something I had mentioned in a comment but thought I'd elaborate now that the day has come and gone, so might be time for an update..

I dont know why I get so nervous and anxious before having to go to MIL/ DH's aunts for Christmas Eve, knowing that its more than likely that SD was physically a no show once again as per usual.  Thats the thing, knowing that there is always a possibility that these Skids are out there and capable of turning up. Someway. Somehow. bullshit in tow.

Sharing some insight while researching for myself. MY SD30  has shown some of these per my experience with her, ,,even though she is more a covert narcissist, Some of the signs are there, I thought this might also apply to some of your SKIDS and BM's especially since its Christmas.. To be clear my SD hasnt given me a gift in years, IF she did, these signs would apply. These same indications are likely to come out if I had gone out of my way to give her one..not just for Christmas, ,,but has occured if I ever showed her one crumb of kindness...

Noticed alot of discussion around struggling with any meddling relatives  or anyone's assumptions about what the role of SM is "supposed to be."  Especially to those who have chosen the disengagment route. 

Do you ( still)  struggle with worrying about how you are perceived by anyone on DH's side over your decision? or OVer your feelings about your stepspawns?  

I normally don't read DH's texts, but his phone went off while he was mowing the lawn. I rarely pay attention, but thought it was it might have been an emergency about my MIL or somethig urgent. I happened to see it was a text from SD29 still begging how she wishes Amy would "grow with her"  and feel differently about her. This was from the same person who begged me to get close and move forward...only to end up blocking me Mid conversation on FB ( im still blocked( once I clearly said that i have no issue being polite and civiil, but was uncomfortable going any further.