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CLove's Blog

Thoughts about the couch/Sort of step related

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Last night, sweet heart neice came over to hang out. Id heard that she was staying here and there but nothing specific and no detail.

This is the one that "disappeared" for a few years. Met a guy, and he was into drugs and shady stuff, and spent all her money. She was held in a hotel room and threatened at one point, she said. She managed to get away, went to rehab for a while, and now is trying to rebuild her life. Shes no longer in contact with the shady guy, and is helping her cousin with his business.

The Day After...aka Oxygen Please! Thanksgiving Day Chronical

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Thanksgiving wasnt too bad, and now I am basking in the glow of having seen my niece and nephew for 2.5 hours. The food was good too!

We had the split Thanksgiving this year due to my brother and his family plus FIL and MIL coming down from 2.5 hours away.

I had been asking DH when would Powersulk SD17 be coming over from her mothers house and what was going on with Feral Forger SD24, for the week preceeding so I could plan accordingly. His family was going to have a really small gathering in the early afternoon and ours was scheduled for 4pm. But no pressure, right?

How are YOU

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How are YOU doing today, the day before a big american holiday. A few days before the weekend. A month before The Big Cash Grab holiday?

Are you indulging in self care of some sort? Are you reaching out to friends?

I have a friend who recently had heart surgery and is recovering and now has an infection. Shes 55. Its really making me value myself, my time, my energy and what time I have left on this planet. 

Life is too short Steppers. 

So, how are YOU?

OT/The ship has sailed...End of life planning

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Ive been going through some depression. Feelings of isolation, and feelings of not being good enough, not being this or that.

Its especially hard during the holidays, due to family issues and the fact that holidays are so child-centric and I dont have kids of my own. Theres even a term "childless not by choice". Egads. 

Im getting through it, but some things that have upset me just yesterday.

Getting things OUT

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So Ive been on this here Blog Steptalk Site for over 6 years!!!

Ive gotten a lot out of my system...things are a lot more peaceful. SD24 Feral Forger is forging her own life no dramz there. Toxic  Troll has been minding her own, and only 7 more payments. SD PowerSulk has been kind and nice and we stay out of each others way.

Super Blue Moon Humor

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Its not super humor, but here it is...

Since the BLBW (Burst Love Bubble Wedding) SDPowerSulk CPs has been REALLY friendly to me. I am reserved, but yes, am going with it. She wants to suddenly say "hi" "goodmorning" "goodnight", Im going with it. 

Last night, I didnt cook (skid time, clove no cook-ie) husband didnt want to cook. Tells me this. SDPS has been in her room. Its 9:30 pm. Husband sais "well theres a steak in the fridge..." trails off leaving it open to interpretation.

Love Bubble Bursting

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The aftermath.

So, in all honesty it wasnt that bad. And it was really sweet, and beautiful and the couple is truly lovely and in love.

Husband and I did a few shots of whiskey while there before things started. A few more were had during the day. Drama with Feral Forger (for me) never materialised.

Wedding Bliss Love Bubble

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With some new therapies that I am trying, I need to come up with good power words and visuals, to help with anxiety and all the other emotions.

As my previous post noted, TODAY is the big day. My power words are in my Blog Title.

Husband has texted SD17 and let her know he is picking her up at X time, what about her sister. She replied, yes sd24 FF wants to go too, and Im afraid of that. Wish he hadnt told me that part, but I am going to use my power words...Wedding Bliss Love Bubble.

He then texted SD24 FF and she is going with a cousin so doesnt need a ride.

Turn! turn! turn!

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A time to have weddings, apparently. (referencing the Byrds song)

This weekend I am preparing for stomach-turning stress. 

Husbands nephew is getting married to a very sweet gal Ive spoken to a few times.

It is taking place in his sisters backyard - nephews mothers backyard. Its huge and will be HOT. Its on Saturday - boo Ill be missing a popular festival Ive attended the past 15 plus years both days without fail.

After the Choices more choices

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Happy Saturday steptalkers. I thought I should document my Friday, because (surprise) no SD17 Powersulk! Yep. "And just like that..."

Friday at work ends. Im tired and kind of downhearted, but feeling a bit like I wanted to kick up my heels (or rev my engine?) doing some car week stuff. Husband comes home, tired and in shoulder pain. We kind of look at each other "what do you want to do? I dunno what do YOU want to do?"

Im tired and anxious about the skid thing. He can probably tell, even though I dont say anything.