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5 years married anniversary continued, aka fly in my ointment (long)

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It was a mixed bag of nuts. As always. Never really great or good without SOMETHING. Lets see...

June 21 Anniverary - So I get half day off and am relaxing. I check the temps and its in the 100's where we are planning on spending our anny watching a concert by a 70-year old rocker known the world over as that "other singer". Husband has not gotten the day off due to unforseen circumstances. Im chilling and in no hurry.

No flies are appearing in the ointment so far...but wait!

5 years...

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Today is husband and I 5th year wedding anniversary.

Yesterday I was enjoying a beverage with a GF and told her "back when I met husband, I was 135 and HAPPY". She got that distinction.

What are we doing for our 5th? Working and then heading south to a place that will fry our brains in 102 deg ft weather. To listen to music. Which I organised and set up.

Strange symmetry?

Raspberry Dreams

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So, Ive been trying out a new therapy and one of the things I need to do is have power words for when I need to feel strong. When I need to get out of my own head and protect myself. When I need to activate and reinforce my boundaries. Im choosing Respberry for todays power word. Perfect new password for my new guest account.

So, my last Blog, it was made apparent that husband placated me and did not do anything remotely resembling an apoloy or make any indication of making changes.

Throw it down Tuesday

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Husband jovially told me this evening on my drive home phone call "oh Im doing xyz drop off here and then I pick up power sulk".

Yep. Same ol same ol. No heads up or discussion just a casual declaration as per usual.

So, I took that bull by its horns (delicately) and threw it down (via text).

After the fireworks smoke cleared...

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July 6th being my 55th birthday, I wanted peace and serenity at the minimum. Made a few loose plans. Came home the 5th, house is still messy from the gathering on the 4th but no biggie. Husband had been home all day- called in sick - and I was a little edgy (like why not share this information with your WIFE). 

I asked what hed been up to all day...attitude "Oh dont know, I just did the dishes and threw out trash and took powersulk to her mothers for you"...attitude.

I asked about small things...attitude...

4th of July & Bday shenanigans

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4th of July was fun, with music and friends and dancing. Then the evening 'works, because husband decided to agree to his friends all bringing their 'crackers and kids to our house. Its funny - everywhere but our city they are illegal and unwanted, but we live in the last of the wild west towns and people go crazy - all over town big lights exploding. For one night we are the "cool town". 

Unfortunately for me, SD17 power sulk wanted to attend also, so sweetheart cousin picked her up and dropped her off.

Took advice

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Im trying to be teachable and not put the happy face on the alligator.

I texted husband what happened. I texted him that I do not take cps threats lightly, and that in the next 11 months, I will not be alone with her. That if she feels unsafe with me that she needs to call cps, then she should stay with her mother...

I also texted him that recording me in my home without my permission is abusive, and that will not be allowed in our home, and that he will make her delete that unauthorised video recording.

Tides are turning

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against me. I know this is happening, I knew it would happen, yet I keep screwing it up. I get too comfortable, I feel too safe. 

So this thing happened last night.

But first, lets review fathers day weekend, shall we?

Sd17BS was at our house all week. I think shes taking a summer class because she decided not to do the work during regular school year and now wants a better grade, IDK. Shes supposedly going to standford for tests for lupus imaginaria, even with no symptoms, but ok.

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