I am 17 weeks pregnant and DH and I are expecting a little girl in February 2022. When we found out I was pregnant, DH and I sat down and discussed how and when we would tell SS9. We decided, due to the nature of dealing with our HCBM, we would wait to tell SS until we saw him in person for Christmas this year. DH and I felt this would be best because it allows us to control the narrative.
So yesterday, BM and/or GF forwarded DH a copy of SS' COVID test which was negative. We can't tell who actually sent it because it came from BM and GF's joint email account with no message attached and GF has been known to email DH from this account on occasion. DH responded "Thanks for sending the results."
DH got a text from BM at 4 a.m. this morning... SS woke up around 2 a.m. complaining of a sore throat so BM rushed him to the ER. BM sent several more texts between 4 a.m. and 8 a.m. saying that SS was diagnosed with croup, given an inhaler, sent home and is doing better. When DH woke up this morning and received the messages, he just responded "Thank you for keeping me updated. I'm glad to hear SS is improving."
SS9 just started the fourth grade. Phone calls with him lately have not been very positive. He hates school outside of seeing his friends, gym, and lunch/recess because he says he knows all the classroom material and is bored out of his mind. He also told DH that he is hating football, which is ironic since BM fought tooth and nail in court to prevent parenting time (and won) due to SS' love of football.
Bare with me on this - it may be pregnancy hormones leading to this vent, but I'm irritated, and think this is all so stupid. While it seems petty and dumb, it's just another example of why I hate this woman so much.
Since SS left in early July, things have been calm in terms of steplife. I dont attend pick-ups/drop-offs because I don't care to interact with BM and prefer to be a mystery to her. I have had no contact with BM in over 2 years. But, BM picks SS up from our apartment clubhouse, which I can see clear as day from our living room window, so I always watch to see the exchange unfold. While saying goodbye, SS ran up to DH and gave him the biggest bear hug for a solid 2 minutes as BM watched awkwardly.
So we announced my pregnancy to my MIL, BILs and SIL. They were all very excited. I did not engage much with MIL to avoid any unnecessary drama. I love my BIL and SIL and we are pretty close.
So SIL calls me last night. They live across the country and she wanted to offer her "congratulations." We ended up talking on the phone for 3 hours. SIL and I are very similar and were raised with similar values, so we get along great and both of us have had a negative relationship with MIL.
SS9 is getting picked up by BM on Saturday. We won't see him again until Christmas. He has done really well this last week and a half. SS has shed some light on the things he faces at BM's home, which are not pleasant. Due to BM and GFs irregular work schedules, SS is being dumped off wherever at all hours of the day and night. SS mentioned one night where BM was working (she works 3rd shift) and GF got called into work at 3 a.m. so SS had to be woken up and taken to a friend's house at 3 a.m. SS highlighted that he is ignored constantly, only shown affection or attention when it suits BM.
So I post a lot on here about BM and SS, but I have never mentioned my MIL. DH has two half brothers and I have heard from both BILs that MIL was a HCBM 100% when it came to coparenting with their Dad. Well MIL met and married FIL and told FIL that she didn't want anymore kids. Well FIL wanted kids so they had DH. MIL told FIL that DH was his responsibility and basically, since she didn't want him, he's not her problem to deal with. MIL and FIL divorced almost 10 years ago. FIL and DH are very close. MIL has always preferred BILs.
So SS9 arrived today. He was his normal, happy self despite the recent allegations of abuse. DH and I sat him down to talk, but we did not address the allegations like BM wanted us to. It was more of a check-in and the conversation lasted less than 2 minutes. We just told SS that BM said he cried a lot after leaving last time and we told him that if he is sad or having a hard time, that it's okay, but we want him to feel comfortable coming to us and telling us so we can help him. SS understood and said he wasn't that upset. He did tell DH unprompted that he didn't like the NERF gun.