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CastleJJ's Blog

The Only Trigger Left

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As many of you who have been following my story know, I've been in steplife for about 11 years. I met DH when SS was 10 months old. BM and DH dated on/off again in high school and into college, BM falling pregnant with SS at 19. The only thing that has been consistent with BM since then is keeping DH away from SS as much as possible. 

Family Loss Update

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My grandma passed away last Saturday. She was surrounded by family and friends and passed as we said prayers, shared laughs, and shared what she meant to us. It could not have been a more perfect send off if we had planned it ourselves. It was very peaceful. Within minutes of her passing, I went outside to get some air. My grandparents live on a lake and the moon was pointing directly toward their house, the reflection illuminating the lake, creating almost a "stairway to Heaven." It was beautiful.

Family Loss & StepLife

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It has been a rough week for the CastleJJ Family. My grandma has been suffering from several health conditions for several years and was diagnosed with cancer about 5 years ago. She was hospitalized last week and it has become clear after scans and testing that she is losing her battle. She has signed onto hospice and doctors don't believe she will last beyond 3 weeks. 

Email From BM

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SS returned to BM at the beginning of July, so it has been about 6 weeks since we have seen him. DH has been face timing SS twice per week, but SS has been mostly quiet, forcing DH to hold the conversation. SS is reluctant to share any part of his life at BM's with us, which I'm sure is part of his PAS programming. DH, DD18months, and I have been working hard to get back to "life as normal" without SS. We were considering going to BM land to visit SS over Labor Day weekend, but financially there is no way we could swing it.

UPDATE: SS11 and Pet Loss (Vent)

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Sorry for the vent, but I am just baffled and a little pissed off. If you read my previous blog, you'll know that BM had to put down SS11's rabbit this week due to old age. SS is with us this week so it has been difficult to navigate that situation with the distance and allowing him to grieve and have proper closure. I think we have done a good job allowing SS to process his grief. We bought SS a memorial brick and mailed it to BMs. He got to pick it out and personalize it, which we feel gave him a sense of control in a powerless situation.

SS11 & Pet Loss

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So I posted a blog at the end of May. SS11 is a proud pet owner to a rabbit. He has had this rabbit since he was 3 and it has lived a very long and happy life. SS has done a wonderful job taking care of his rabbit. At the end of May, BM warned DH that pick up would possibly be delayed for our first visit, as BM was at the emergency vet with the rabbit and things "didn't look good." Luckily, the rabbit had an abscess and DH's pickup occurred on time. SS was fine. 

A Shockingly Wonderful Week w/ SS11

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SS11 left today after a week with us. It was actually very pleasant and he wasn't an entitled, cocky asshole for any portion of the visit. I have no idea what happened or what was different. 

SS11 arrived last Saturday, ran through the door, and immediately ran to DD16months and started swinging her around and playing with her. He then ran up and gave me a huge hug. He was talkative and excited to be back, despite only being gone a week.