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CastleJJ's Blog

On The Topic of Narcissistic BMs...

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We talked to SS11 tonight. According to SS, BM left to visit her parents in our state last Wednesday and did not come home until this afternoon. BM told SS that he was not allowed to come with her and that he had to stay with GF. This means that SS spent 5 whole days (plus Mother's Day) with BM's GF. This is the second year in a row that BM has given up SS on Mother's Day. And of course, you know since BM drove right by our house to visit her parents, we would have gladly taken SS for that time -- BUT heaven forbid because it's Mother's Day and BM's time.

In My Head Tonight

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I'm feeling really in my head tonight. Some of you may recall that DD15mos had torticollis in her neck from birth and required PT and a molding helmet last year. She was delayed on all of her milestones like rolling and sitting up. She has been doing well and we thought we were over the hump. Well lately, DD has been delayed with pulling up, standing, and walking. I mentioned it at her one year well visit in February and they referred us to Early Ons, who assessed her and scored her at 8 months old for gross motor. Later, I started to notice other concerns like a dropped foot.

BM Continues to Show Her Selfishness

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So, as I have mentioned previously, our BM will not parent. For the last 11 years, she has pawned off all parenting responsibilities on her parents, and then her GF after they started dating. BM refuses to parent but refused to let DH have SS either. SS has informed us of BM's lack of parenting, often without seeing her fault in it. We have found out that GF has done everything for the past 5ish years since BM moved in with her - done daily school pick up and drop off, done all medical appointments, done all sport transportation, etc.

Psychological Retraining

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Today, BM emailed DH, notifying him that SS asked to do a few single day basketball "camps" which are $15 a piece. BM told DH that she doesn't know how many SS will be able to do since he is also currently in the middle of soccer season. BM said that she was "just keeping DH updated," but I know that by including the dollar amount, BM is sniffing for reimbursement or half from DH. She doesn't keep DH updated unless there is something in it for her.

SS11 Went Home

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BM and GF picked SS11 up yesterday afternoon. We had a really nice Easter morning with him. He helped us hide DD1's Easter eggs on Saturday night and then DH and I hid SS' eggs after he went to bed. Both kids loved their Easter baskets. We made a huge breakfast and then SS wanted to watch a movie. I got some really great pictures of the kids in their Easter outfits. DD had a cute little dress with bunnies on it and SS wore jeans and a nicer t-shirt. It wasn't my ideal outfit choice for SS11 but it was better than the grungy athletic wear he lives in. 

Update to SS11's Visit

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SS11 goes back to BM's house in two days after a week of visiting for spring break. On the day DH went to pick up SS, BM emailed DH to inform him that she put SS' foreign language homework (extracurricular) in his backpack to do over break, despite the fact that it isn't due for two weeks. She also informed DH that she included the "PRN Medication" that SS "needs" for his "chronic croup" in his backpack. If you recall, BM made a big stink about SS having chronic respiratory issues last year.

Over BM's Bullshit (VENT)

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After BM emailed DH the other night, giving us dates for the first two week block of summer visitation, she emails tonight to let us know that SS11 has a football camp at the end of June, which would be smackdab in the middle of DH's second two week block of visitation. She says "I hope you will take it into consideration." Like we have a f***ing choice because our CO gives BM full authority to dictate our summer visitation due to sports. Our CO grants DH two two week blocks (with BM getting two weeks in the middle), but those blocks can be broken up to accommodate sports.

SS11 Update

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SS11 is scheduled to visit for 8 days for spring break starting this weekend. It will be two months since our last visit with him. Curious to see how this upcoming visit goes.

CS Review Update

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About a month ago, we received the recommendation for our CS review. DH's support obligation went down by $125 after discovering that BM is making almost double what DH makes, plus DD was a factor and BM no longer utilizes childcare for SS10. BM had 21 days to appeal that recommendation, which would have been last week.