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Email From BM

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Mon, 08/07/2023 - 7:15pm

SS returned to BM at the beginning of July, so it has been about 6 weeks since we have seen him. DH has been face timing SS twice per week, but SS has been mostly quiet, forcing DH to hold the conversation. SS is reluctant to share any part of his life at BM's with us, which I'm sure is part of his PAS programming. DH, DD18months, and I have been working hard to get back to "life as normal" without SS. We were considering going to BM land to visit SS over Labor Day weekend, but financially there is no way we could swing it.

UPDATE: SS11 and Pet Loss (Vent)

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Fri, 07/07/2023 - 9:46am

Sorry for the vent, but I am just baffled and a little pissed off. If you read my previous blog, you'll know that BM had to put down SS11's rabbit this week due to old age. SS is with us this week so it has been difficult to navigate that situation with the distance and allowing him to grieve and have proper closure. I think we have done a good job allowing SS to process his grief. We bought SS a memorial brick and mailed it to BMs. He got to pick it out and personalize it, which we feel gave him a sense of control in a powerless situation.

SS11 & Pet Loss

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Wed, 07/05/2023 - 10:54am

So I posted a blog at the end of May. SS11 is a proud pet owner to a rabbit. He has had this rabbit since he was 3 and it has lived a very long and happy life. SS has done a wonderful job taking care of his rabbit. At the end of May, BM warned DH that pick up would possibly be delayed for our first visit, as BM was at the emergency vet with the rabbit and things "didn't look good." Luckily, the rabbit had an abscess and DH's pickup occurred on time. SS was fine. 

A Shockingly Wonderful Week w/ SS11

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Fri, 06/23/2023 - 5:12pm

SS11 left today after a week with us. It was actually very pleasant and he wasn't an entitled, cocky asshole for any portion of the visit. I have no idea what happened or what was different. 

SS11 arrived last Saturday, ran through the door, and immediately ran to DD16months and started swinging her around and playing with her. He then ran up and gave me a huge hug. He was talkative and excited to be back, despite only being gone a week. 

What Do We Do?

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Thu, 06/08/2023 - 8:18pm

After we called SS11 out yesterday about his hypochondriac behavior and the Google search history about mosquito bites, SS improved significantly. He had an open and honest conversation about several different topics with DH and I and his behavior was polite and respectful. He was like a totally different kid. This morning, he woke up in a good mood, helped clean without being asked, and spent tons of time playing with and looking after DD. He was literally the perfect child... until BM and GF called tonight.

So Over Dealing with SS11 (VENT)

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Wed, 06/07/2023 - 12:01pm

SS11's behavior took a turn at the end of last week/beginning of this week. DH thinks SS got comfortable and now he is showing his true colors. He has been entitled, extremely cocky, challenging to authority, and views himself as an equal to adults. I was having a conversation with my Mom and SS felt inclined to interject and start poking fun at my Mom... No sir. DH has corrected him multiple times this week about butting out of other people's business, staying out of adult conversations, being respectful, etc.

SS11 Visit Update

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Sat, 06/03/2023 - 6:30pm

SS11 arrived last Saturday for his two week stint of visitation. On the 4 hour drive down to BM's house, BM texts DH to let him know that she is at the emergency vet with SS' elderly pet who she wasn't sure was going to make it. BM said that SS was really upset about it. DH was concerned about this elderly pet derailing pick-up or devastating SS and ruining the visit, since we were leaving same day to travel to Florida. DH arrived to BM's house; she was home and the pet was fine. SS said that pet had an abscess and had to have a tooth pulled.

On The Topic of Narcissistic BMs...

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Mon, 05/15/2023 - 7:59pm

We talked to SS11 tonight. According to SS, BM left to visit her parents in our state last Wednesday and did not come home until this afternoon. BM told SS that he was not allowed to come with her and that he had to stay with GF. This means that SS spent 5 whole days (plus Mother's Day) with BM's GF. This is the second year in a row that BM has given up SS on Mother's Day. And of course, you know since BM drove right by our house to visit her parents, we would have gladly taken SS for that time -- BUT heaven forbid because it's Mother's Day and BM's time.

In My Head Tonight

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Mon, 05/01/2023 - 9:53pm

I'm feeling really in my head tonight. Some of you may recall that DD15mos had torticollis in her neck from birth and required PT and a molding helmet last year. She was delayed on all of her milestones like rolling and sitting up. She has been doing well and we thought we were over the hump. Well lately, DD has been delayed with pulling up, standing, and walking. I mentioned it at her one year well visit in February and they referred us to Early Ons, who assessed her and scored her at 8 months old for gross motor. Later, I started to notice other concerns like a dropped foot.

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