SS13 finally left on Monday to return back to BMLand after 4 weeks straight of visitation. As previously posted, SS escalated things, texting BM and GF, talking trash about me and DD3. He then texted them again a few days later, claiming that in that moment, I kept looking over his shoulder to try to see his phone password and attempt to read his messages, despite the fact that I was in a work Teams meeting in another room for the afternoon. When BM and GF asked SS to call them to discuss it, SS said he couldn't and that DH was requiring him to take all calls in the living room, in front of DH (which was another lie), and that he didn't feel safe or comfortable here. BM told SS she would address that with DH after SS returned home. BM and GF remotely changed SS' phone passcode and things seemed to simmer down with SS after that. We did realize that SS does not reach out to BM for anything, rather reaches out to GF for everything. Every call made, every text sent, every question or need for support from SS, was sent directly to GF. Hell, SS told us that it was GF tracking our location via SS' phone, not BM. No wonder GF feels superior in the parenting role. DH also realized this is why they are so up our butts constantly is because GF is trying to gain control and is projecting her own insecurities about not being SS' actual, biological parent.

I mostly avoided SS for the rest of his visit, leaving the house with DD3 to spend time with my parents, to see friends, and to just be anywhere that wasn't home. DH requested 2 weeks WFH from his boss to ensure I was never alone with SS, which was granted. I did constantly redirect SS back to DH - want a snack, ask your Dad, want to do something, ask your Dad, etc. That was a major learning curve for SS, as he usually comes to me for most things and I think he was surprised by my disengaged attitude. 

The final week was a little better. SS was less of a PITA, but still did what he could to cause frustration. DH and I are always careful when discussing "adult" topics because SS views himself as an adult (since BM and GF treat him like an adult) and he likes to interject his own thoughts and opinions, despite knowing nothing about anything. I asked DH if he saw the news recently (referring to Iran) and DH confirmed he did. SS then started pestering us about what we were talking about. DH told him it didn't matter, nor concern him as he is a kid. SS then proceeded to turn on the TV and go straight to the news channel, bantering with the news anchor like he knew anything, but was completely wrong on everything. DH walked over and turned the TV off.

A few days later, we were at a cookout with a friend's family (our friend is in his 40s). He told us he sold his boat. SS had the audacity to ask him "how much did ya get for it?" Our friend looked shocked but also knows how SS is. Before DH could say anything, our friend said "SS that is highly inappropriate. Kids don't ask adults about money. Hell, adults don't ask other adults about money." SS tried to argue but DH gave him a stern look, so SS rolled his eyes and walked away. We of course apologized. SS then took DH's expensive prescription sunglasses off the table, putting them on and strutting around the yard while glaring at DH and smirking, trying to demonstrate that he was in control. DH walked over, ripped the glasses off his face, and told him to "knock his shit off or he would be leaving the cookout early." 

When SS was packing up some items he brought from BM's, he came downstairs stating he lost a shirt. He described the shirt and DH and I both said we don't recall seeing a shirt like that anywhere. We had done dozens of loads of laundry and our home is quite organized, so we would have found it, especially if we located every other piece of clothing he brought, down to the socks. We fully believe SS thought he brought the shirt from BM's but never actually did. SS tried to say that he remembers wearing it to our house on Day 1, which is ironic since SS can't remember what he ate for breakfast on any given day. SS went into a full panic, demanding we either find this shirt or pay to replace it. DH told SS "No," that SS is old enough to keep track of his belongings. SS dug through every laundry hamper, every closet, etc. looking for this shirt. SS called all the family members we visited throughout the month and nobody saw this shirt. When BM arrived to pick SS up, DH explained that SS *thinks* he lost a shirt here, and despite attempts to find it, it wasn't located. DH told BM if we find it, he will mail it to them. BM told DH she wasn't worried about it and in the same breath, SS goes "yeah, I'm not worried about it either. The shirt was getting small anyway and I was probably going to donate it soon." 

Finally, over the weekend, we were trying to figure out dinner plans. I suggested pizza and DH was onboard, but SS kept demanding Chipotle. He wouldn't let up so DH said "fine" and took him. DH doesn't like the taste of cilantro - says it tastes like soap, but DH has never been to Chipotle, so he didn't realize all of their food options were cooked heavily with cilantro. When DH asked the server if anything didn't have cilantro and the server said "No", SS glared at DH and smirked. Once they got home with the food and I saw it had cilantro, I asked DH why he ordered it. DH explained it. SS started dying laughing saying he suggested Chipotle to DH, knowing it all had cilantro and DH didn't like it, and knowing that DH had never been there, just to piss DH off and essentially screw him over. DH was pissed and told SS that in the future, we pick the restaurant and SS either eats or he starves. SS was smug with a look of pure satisfaction for the rest of the night. 

I asked DH on Sunday night if he was sad that SS was leaving on Monday and he said "No" and that honestly, SS' personality is that of a mini-BM and a mini-GF: entitled, superior, arrogant, etc. making it so hard to be around him since he is so different from our values and personality. DH said he would never agree to a 4 week stint again.

BM arrived to pick SS up. She refused to make eye contact with DH and refused to acknowledge DD, despite DD3 saying "hi" several times. DH hugged SS and told him we would see him at Christmas. BM interrupted and eagerly told DH it would likely be Labor Day first. Our CO says we get Labor Day if SS does not have sport commitments; we have only had him for Labor Day once in the 8 years he has lived in BMLand and typically BM never confirms visits until a few weeks before. We don't even have a sport schedule yet. DH didn't acknowledge BM's statement, said goodbye and shut the door. DH came in laughing, saying "Does it seem like BM wants to be rid of SS?" It definitely seemed eager to us. I'm hoping Labor Day doesn't happen and Christmas is the next time.

Oh and as of this morning, BM still hasn't emailed DH about SS being told to take calls in the living room, so either she realized it wasn't true (because SS took FaceTime calls in multiple places) or she forgot (highly unlikely). Typically, BM fires off her allegations within 24 hours of SS' return home. Hell, typically she returns home by 4 p.m. and DH receives an email by 7 p.m. same day. If DH doesn't get something by tonight, I would say we are in the clear. DH also decided not to email BM about the tracking, despite us having an email drafted. He documented everything related to it if we ever need it, but he figured tipping his hand that we know would result in GF ramping up tracking measures via airtag, burner phone, etc. (she is just that crazy) and wouldn't actually fix it. Instead, DH will be dealing with SS directly, in our home, on these issues and will stop the tracking from happening.