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Just need some advice
Soo I have two biological kids and we are going out of town to visit family along with my husband
((so what do I do with the step kid )) my step child lives with us her baby mom does not want to watch her for 3 weeks and other family members go work ...
For the past 8 years, every holiday was affected by the fact that SS was being kept from us. It definitely put my DH in a funk and it affected me as a result as well.
Now SS is back with us but not under the circumstances we'd hoped. So the general feeling in the air is of disappointment again.
I'm just taking our kids to my parents for the holiday. DH will be staying behind so SS doesn't do anything stupid.
Congrats BM, you have definitely won. There is a special place in hell for parents who do parental alienation. Nothing but destruction is left in it's wake.
So after the last episode DH came back home and we've been living together under the same roof but seperate rooms.
He spent the last couple days trying to convince me that what everyone told me was a lie and that he haven't been bad mouthing me. He claims that people were just trying to break us up.. Maybe some of the things weren't all true given the necessary evidence but I believe it takes two to have a conversation..
So, we got up today, picked up SD, went to the finance company to get the lien release, called the tow company and decided to go there Monday, went to the dealership, test drove the car back to our house, had our retired used car dealer neighbor look it over, went back, negotiated and bought the car. We pick it up Monday.
During all this, SD was very confused, got names wrong, bad directions, couldnt remember things. DH said, "Your'e a bubble off!". She drove the car from the dealership to our house, about 5 blocks, but it was alarming.
So DH and I had our baby shower last weekend. MIL graced us with her presence, but never RSVPed because that meant contacting my Mom, who MIL refuses to acknowledge. My Mom made "Grandma," "Grandpa," and "Aunt/Uncle" pins for the shower. MIL wore hers happily until she saw step-MIL (DH's stepmom) also wearing one. She walked right up to step-MIL (DH's stepmom) and said "what makes you think you have the right to wear one?!" Umm step-MIL (DH's stepmom) has been more of a mother figure to DH and more of a grandmother figure to SS than actual MIL ever has.
Last night while I was at a friend's house DH read my diary. This is a disaster! He is mad at me and barely speaking to me. A little backstory... We have been seeing a counselor and she suggested I write the things that upset me down so I can get my angry feelings out without hurting anyone. So the things written were not kind. I complained about DH and SD and called them both names. I NEVER thought he would read it. My heart is broken that he invaded my privacy and now he knows all my darkest thoughts.
SD was a no show again this morning. What a relief. I hate having someone in my home nitpicking and searching for reasons that we're not good enough and/or to get us in trouble with her mommy and aunt.
I'm assuming 2 no shows means she has no intention of coming over again anytime soon, but BM has not actually said anything again. I'm guessing she's waiting for DH to break down and beg and cry.
Ok, so let me start with a question - what should I do next?
1. Disengage. Leave it alone, do my own thing, and just dont talk about it.
2. Approach it sideways, turn off internet and turn off the phone line. Text only. Dont say anything.
3. Approach it directly, with both of them in the room at the same time.
I will start off by saying I should have been more mature when I heard SD18 had gotten in a brawl. The woman who fought her I used to work with, but I never really talked to her because she was the sister of SD's girlfriend and usually SD tells lies to about me to anyone who she wants pity from.
So having SD for Christmas break will be the longest period of time between seeing SD. We saw her last mid August and we will get her for two weeks. What do you all do for clothing/shoes when you go such long periods of time since seeing the skids and they are too young to tell you what size they are? If we could rely on BM giving accurate information, we would simply just ask BM, but after 4 years of SD ALWAYS showing up in clothing too small and shoes too small, we won't be asking her.