I was rereading Captain Awkward's post about siblings, "Advice for Relationships You Dont Want To Lose But Dont Want To Work At" (#1182, #1183, #1184 3/4/19).   Some of her advice applies to troubled adult SK relationships.  

One excerpt that rang a bell with me:

"Adults are allowed to make choices about people that are informed by how they treat us and not everyone deserves our trust, our attention, our time, our focus, our benefit of the doubt."

I asked everyone what they thought would happen concerning SD60 and DH84's planned visit to DMV to register and transfer plates on the replacement car.  Her original car was totaled in an accident and she had let the insurance lapse.  The choices were 1) SD and DH would successfully register the car and transfer plates; 2) SD would be too unwell to go and postpone as long as possible; 3)  SD and DH would go but SD would be late and not have all the documents.

Well, its the holiday season, time for SD60 to be more depressed than usual and for us to hear about it.  I've been successfully avoiding seeing or talking to her since all the car drama two weeks ago.

So, we got up today, picked up SD, went to the finance company to get the lien release, called the tow company and decided to go there Monday, went to the dealership, test drove the car back to our house, had our retired used car dealer neighbor look it over, went back, negotiated and bought the car.  We pick it up Monday.

During all this, SD was very confused, got names wrong, bad directions, couldnt remember things.  DH said, "Your'e a bubble off!".  She drove the car from the dealership to our house, about 5 blocks, but it was alarming.