I admit that some of my negative reaction to SD60 is due to jealousy. Yes, She's a lying, manipulative thief. But even if she were a saint, I'd still be jealous of the time, love, attention and devotion she evokes from DH84.
I posted last week asking what would happen to our 48th anniversary plans to spend 2 nights at our local casino: 1) we would have a wonderful time or 2) SD60 would call with another monthend emergency that would cause us to postpone our plans, or 3) SD60 would call with another monthend emergency but we'd still be able to go altho we'd be late and I'd be resentful.
The winner is.....#1! We had a great time! Ate too much, drank too much, spent too much but it was so fun! I think DH84 pre-empted the situation by giving her some $ last week. Whatever.
DH84 and I are celebrating our 48th anniversary next weekend. We are staying at the casino 2 nights and I've got a pedi scheduled. Can't wait!
I want to thank Steptalk for giving me insights into my dynamic with SD60 and practical suggestions. She's a bipolar person who has always caused chaos in the entire family's life. My DH84 loves his only daughter and has always enabled her. .She's been on disability for 7 years and has both physical and mental issues.
DH84 got a call from SGD yesterday that her mom, SD60, was in the hospital. Had we received any messages? No. Soon afterwards, SD60 called him, a wild accusatory call, why hadn't he responded, meanwhile yelling at the nurses. I heard him say, "If you don't calm down, they'll put you in the psych ward". We went to the hospital.
You all have heard me rant about my crazy, bipolar SD60. She's made my life hell for years.
She's been laying low since the infamous car incident in November when she totaled her uninsured car and DH replaced it. I could barely look at her or speak to her during that whole episode and I think she realized I was maxed out. Christmas, normally the annual peak of her instability, was unusually quiet (thanks covid) but I knew it was just a matter of time.
SD60 was here today doing some cleaning (her suggestion). As usual, I was polite, civil and non-committal. The backstory is that after a long mini-wife career, SD had to move in with us 5 years ago when she'd been booted out of her apartment and had no money. The 10 months she was here, our lives were a hell of watching her drug use, hearing her lies and watching my possessions disappear. She does have physical and mental problems that put her on disability. After 10 months, we moved her to quarters we subsidize. DH and I separated finances at that point. She's been her usual self
I was rereading Captain Awkward's post about siblings, "Advice for Relationships You Dont Want To Lose But Dont Want To Work At" (#1182, #1183, #1184 3/4/19). Some of her advice applies to troubled adult SK relationships.
One excerpt that rang a bell with me:
"Adults are allowed to make choices about people that are informed by how they treat us and not everyone deserves our trust, our attention, our time, our focus, our benefit of the doubt."
Just a rant here, I know the answer, yes customer service is dead. Several examples:
I asked everyone what they thought would happen concerning SD60 and DH84's planned visit to DMV to register and transfer plates on the replacement car. Her original car was totaled in an accident and she had let the insurance lapse. The choices were 1) SD and DH would successfully register the car and transfer plates; 2) SD would be too unwell to go and postpone as long as possible; 3) SD and DH would go but SD would be late and not have all the documents.