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The Light at the End of the Tunnel: Summertime

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Submitted by JRI on Mon, 06/01/2020 - 3:29pm

I'm the veteran BM & SM who remembers steplife with 5 kids as I read the blogs & forums.  We came out on the other side. but I remember those hellacious summers.

I would start to get more depressed every spring as it got closer to school closing.  The SK would be here almost all summer long.  They would go back on Tuesday evening (karate class) & come back Thursday night (after karate class). Our house is not big & at that point we hadn't added the space we did once tbey moved in full-time.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel: Mini-wife Fate

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Submitted by JRI on Thu, 05/14/2020 - 7:45pm

I'm the veteran BM & SM of 5 reliving my steplife as I read the posts.  Many of you have mini-wives, i have one, too.  Only difference is mine is 58 years old.  This is a cautionary tale about how that dynamic can end up.

DH & SD were always close.  She was his first, looked like him & is his only daughter.  They bonded more closely when BM left.

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The Light at the End of the Tunnel: Hard Financial Decisions in Hard Times

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Submitted by JRI on Sat, 05/02/2020 - 1:04pm

I'm the 75-year old BM & SM of 5 who reads the blogs & forums & flashes back.  I've been thinking about the young step-parents out there.

This is such a rough financial time for many people.  You might be making difficult decisions: should I pay this or that first? What happens if I don't pay this at all? Can i substitute this for that? What will (somebody) think if i do this? Will this have a lasting effect?  You'll be making hundreds of these decisions, large & small.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel: What Worked

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Submitted by JRI on Sat, 04/25/2020 - 12:02am

I'm the 75-year old BM & SM of 5 who suffers flashbacks as I read the blogs & forums.  We made it to the end of the tunnel & I wanted to share what worked as we coped with the day-to-day chaos.

1)  Counseling, the best money I ever spent.  Takeaways: assertiveness, engagement & more one-on-one time with DH. This is contrary to the often-recommended disengagement but in those days, I needed to step up to my family role.  As DH & I spent more time together, we became "deeper than dirt" as we shared our kids' issues.

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