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JRI's Blog

SD60's Depression

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SD60 was here today doing some cleaning (her suggestion).   As usual, I was polite, civil and non-committal.  The backstory is that after a long mini-wife career, SD had to move in with us 5 years ago when she'd been booted out of her apartment and had no money.  The 10 months she was here, our lives were a hell of watching her drug use, hearing her lies and watching my possessions disappear.   She does have physical and mental problems that put her on disability.  After 10 months, we moved her to quarters we subsidize.  DH and I separated finances at that point.  She's been her usual self

Disengaging from Adult SKs

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I was rereading Captain Awkward's post about siblings, "Advice for Relationships You Dont Want To Lose But Dont Want To Work At" (#1182, #1183, #1184 3/4/19).   Some of her advice applies to troubled adult SK relationships.  

One excerpt that rang a bell with me:

"Adults are allowed to make choices about people that are informed by how they treat us and not everyone deserves our trust, our attention, our time, our focus, our benefit of the doubt."

SD's Car: and the Winner is....

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I asked everyone what they thought would happen concerning SD60 and DH84's planned visit to DMV to register and transfer plates on the replacement car.  Her original car was totaled in an accident and she had let the insurance lapse.  The choices were 1) SD and DH would successfully register the car and transfer plates; 2) SD would be too unwell to go and postpone as long as possible; 3)  SD and DH would go but SD would be late and not have all the documents.

SD's Car: Place your bets now, folks

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SD60 crashed her uninsured car last month and we bought a replacement.  The whole situation was made worse by her stupidity, unpreparedness, self-pity and confusion, not to mention DH84's oncoming dementia.  We had a month to get the car registered and  license plates transferred.

Last week, I asked her when we had to get it done, answer, "A couple weeks".  Wrong, it's due a week from today.  DH and she agreed they would go tomorrow.  I have already told him I refuse to be in a car with the two of them anymore (confusion, arguing, poor directions).  So its on DH and SD.  

Car saga is finally over

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SD60 ran into a deer recently and totaled her car on which she had let insurance lapse.  She was miraculously unhurt, the car was smashed up pretty badly when she went down an embankment.   DH and I have been running around with her from tow yard to tow yard to finance company to car dealers.  But, Saturday, we selected a car and only awaited her obtaining new insurance.

Car saga, the next episode

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So, we got up today, picked up SD, went to the finance company to get the lien release, called the tow company and decided to go there Monday, went to the dealership, test drove the car back to our house, had our retired used car dealer neighbor look it over, went back, negotiated and bought the car.  We pick it up Monday.

During all this, SD was very confused, got names wrong, bad directions, couldnt remember things.  DH said, "Your'e a bubble off!".  She drove the car from the dealership to our house, about 5 blocks, but it was alarming.

Help me stay strong, guys

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I posted last week about SD60 wrecking her $14k car after she'd let her insurance expire.  You knew and I knew this would usher in plenty of drama and now here we are.

DH84 has some $ and plans to buy her a small used car.  Ok, I agree so far.  Today, he was discussing it and asked me to look online about buying a used car.  We are older and have never done this but our kids have and I know people do it all the time.