I'm 76 and DH is 83. We raised 5 kids and have 9 GKs. My DH is a warm, caring, funny man but he's had it with kids. 3 of our GDs have recently invited us, or wanted to talk with him and he's balking. I understand how he feels but I hate to see their feelings be hurt.
My SD59 was here today. DH83 has her come over about once a week to help with gardening and housework. It's a way he can legitimize the $ he gives her. She's a hairdresser, so she also cuts his hair. Plus, he wants to see her in person to monitor how she's doing. I have been disengaged from her for about 4 years due to the theft, lying, drug use and hell she put us through during a 10- month stay.
SD59 is on disability which she receives around the first. She is usually broke by month end and I've noticed a pattern where we hear some fantastic, tragic, emergency or stupid story in the last few weeks of the month. The goal is to soften up DH so he will give her more money. In the last few months, we've heard about the new man who bestowed lavish gifts only to be outed as a married cheater (probably an internet hookup that didnt work out). Then there was the fantasy Christmas party she planned to host for family. The topper was the dramatic story of her daughter's cancer diagnosis
I understand today is Mother's Day in Britain, I didn't realize you celebrated on a different day than in America. So, Happy Mother's Day!
This is a quite difficult day for many people. So many of us pour time, energy, thought, money and emotion into our SKs and it hurts not to be recognized on Mother's Day. We know we aren't the real moms and we understand divided loyalties but we often still feel saddened if our efforts aren't recognized. Sometimes, our DHs arent good about gifts, mine wasnt. And, often, the kids are too young to do anything on their own.
You all have heard me rant about manipulative, BPD SD59 but surprise, this isn't about her, it's DH. SD comes over about once a week, today she was here to cut DH's hair.
It snowed about 8" here and the temp is around zero. Three people offered to shovel for us last night, SD, OSS and GD. DH83 turned them all down, said we would just huddle here for a day or so. But he got out this morning before I got up and in his hard-headed way, shoveled a path to the car and started it for awhile.
There was a knock on the door about noon. OSS had come anyway with a friend and shoveled everything else, the entire driveway and front walk. I love OSS.
I posted about GD37 wanting to stay her with BF and dog while he looked for work in this city when they moved here from another state. Kids like to stay here: .private entrance, permissive attitude. With an effort, ("Beloved First Granddaughter!"), I said no because of DH's ailments. This meant they had to stay with the other grandma who is convalescent. I know that has been uncomfortable: small house, questions, conservative, religious slant.
My SD59 was over today. She had called last week with one of her huge exaggerations where she spun daughter's digestive problem into cancer. During that call, I kept my cool and didnt buy into the hysterics. At one point, she said, " I guess you must not be real sensitive like me" So, I'm insensitive.
My SD59 never fails to amaze. Her lies and fantasies are never-ending. Im posting for your entertainment.
Her daughter, SGD29, "M", is a teacher and the mother of a 5- month old. Mother and daughter have had a strained relationship for years due to SD59's many misdeeds, including draining M's college fund causing M to finance her education with student loans. Since the birth, they have grown slightly closer altho M wisely keeps her at arm's length and is wary.
At 83 and 76, DH and I are beyond the SP days, thank God. But recent events have given me sympathy for the SP role.