At 83 and 76, DH and I are beyond the SP days, thank God. But recent events have given me sympathy for the SP role.
I posted the other day about SD59's plans for a Christmas gathering. She talked about having it Saturday and inviting her 3 kids, 2 SOS, GGS4 and GGD 4 months, her brother (OSS) and wife and DH and me. That's 10 adults and 2 kids in a small apartment. She reeled off a menu of 5 or 6 dishes.
SD59 was here yesterday. She has a history of (choose one) lying, delusional thinking, trying to make herself look good. She sat here and told me at length about a gathering she is planning for the day after Christmas at her place. Supposedly, SGD29 suggested it. I was hearing about the invitees, proposed menu and she was wondering if we could come, supposedly, her kids and brother all ask if we are coming.
Im a 75yo SM and this is for all of you who think 18 is a magic age when your troubles go away.
DH83 is the original Disney dad, now Disney grandfather.. One reason we are still in this house is because of the basement room which has its own bathroom and refrigerator. Four of our 5 kids have come back at some time or other. He likes to be able to offer that.
You all have heard about my SD59 who has been such a trial to me with her mini -wife antics, lying, drug use and theft. Im disengaged from her and have all my defenses up but still.....
Im a mature BM & SM of 5. We have been thru each and every step-hell & now DH is 83 and I am 75. I read the blogs and forums and it all comes back so clearly and painfully. I often wonder if all the time, effort, money and anguish were worth it.
My DS56 sent me an emsil:
"Mom, on this Thanksgiving eve, I wanted to take a moment to say THANK YOU ( to both yourself and DH). You have ALWAYS put your kids first in your lives and made sacrifices for all of us (and continue to do so to this day)...THANK YOU for being such awesome, dedicated parents.
My 97yo mom with dementia and hearing loss is in a long-term place. She tested positive for covid Wednesday and was moved to quarantine.
I honestly do not understand the drama queen dynamic. Does anyone?
I have several in my family. SD58 is the classic with her never-ending medical emergencies, volatile relationships and "pay attention to me!" antics. Her daughter, SGD28 is another one though more functional. She has husband, baby and career but from birth has demanded attention from everyone. She's a sweet, caring person but tiring to be around. GD37 is another. She is a kind soul but so energetic and, frankly, self-centeted.
Is this a genetic thing, or do we create them?
I'm a mature BM & SM of 5. Every time we StepTalkers advise a poster to leave, I get an anxious feeling due to my own experiences in the '70s. I wonder if conditions have improved since then.
I'm the veteran BM & SM of 5 reflecting on my steplife as I read the posts. DH & I feel blessed that we survived it all. Here's what wasn't worth worrying about when all 5 lived here:
Eating Habits: Some of the SKs were (and one still is) picky eaters. If DH wanted to give one of them fast foid money if they didnt like the meal, whatever. I now believe it was a desire for the taste considtency of fast food. They hadnt been exposed to a big variety of food.