DH landed in the emergency room a couple of days ago due to physical manifestation of anxiety. It was scary. He's home, but still not ok. We see his psychiatrist today. Mental health disorders are a real thing.
A bit of background:
DH's sister, in her mid-70s, has some health issues that requires her to live in an assisted living facility. A year or so ago, she made some legal-type changes, including setting up a trust for her own care. She appointed SD and SD's cousin as co-trustees.
It was a terrible idea. SD and Cousin do NOT get along. I don't know the details about their falling out, but I do know SD is a control freak and displays extreme jealousy whenever she feels like someone else is getting more attention. She is competitive in this way with even her own brother.
There have been several posts about adult skids paying rent (or not paying rent) when living with a parent. I'm all for treating adults as adults and making sure they contribute in some way -- rent, responsibilities, something.
But it reminded me of the time my adult brother moved from HisTown back to Hometown when he accepted a senior-level position at a good company (meaning he was being very well paid). He asked to move in with our Mom temporarily, while he found he own place and could get his family moved. She agreed.
To the tune of Winter Wonderland, of course.
Skid bells ring, DH is listening
In the house, they are whispering
The plans are all right,
If we bring more tonight
Walking into skidville wonderland.
Gone away is my sanity
Replaced with pure profanity
We sing a skid song, as we go along
Walking into skidville wonderland
In the living room, we will open presents
And pretend that it’s with pure intent
They’ll say thank you Daddeee
He’ll say nothing
I've posted before about DH's kids ordering him around. They punish him if he doesn't "obey." It's gotten MUCH worse since DH's sister has been having some significant medical issues.
Brief recap: DH's sister (Auntie) lives about five hours from us. DH's brother lives about five minutes from Auntie, and the brother has all power of attorney -- legal and health care. DH and skids are very close to Auntie, and I like her too. She's been wonderful to me. I have no problem with DH making the trip to help out as he needs to or wants to. Totally supportive.
I hate skid worship. In my case, it has extended into adulthood.
Don't get me wrong, I love my bio completely and unconditionally. But the fact that she can make a mean peanut butter sandwich isn't really cause for balloons and glitter. I expect her to take care of herself, and the fact that she does is not a cause for celebration. I'm proud of her independence, for sure, and I tell her so.
Not a huge problem, but he's dang irritating.
He has been acting like a lovesick puppy when it comes to his adult daughter. I have had issues with SD in the past, but other than being a know-it-all, she is generally respectful and inclusive toward me since I disengaged. Funny how that works.
Because they know everything. About everything.
Crickets. Oh, not from everybody. DH's sister called me. My bestie called. Several others. Nice cards and flowers and donations from people at work.
My Mom was 99 and ready to go, but I will miss her. And I am grieving more intensely than I thought I would, given her age, poor health, and the relief I feel now that she is not suffering. But I'm ok with that. It's a process.
I've had a vivid and very pleasant childhood memory stick with me the last couple of days. So I told DH about it.