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Merry's Blog

Another chapter in life after Auntie

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Another discovery related to Auntie's passing two years ago.

We all loved her. DH suggested that the family (which doesn't include me, remember) establish a memorial of some sort. Great idea, oh Yes, Daddy. We want everybody to always remember Auntie. Please Daddy. We'll support it and help. (All lies. Waste of breath.)

DH discusses SD

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We are coming to the end of settling Auntie's estate and recently closed a bank account. Not a great deal of money--most of her assets were part of an irrevocable trust which has turned out to be an incredibly bad idea. Not enough in it to justify the ongoing work, but not my issue.

Anyway. DH was torn about sending some of the bank money to his kids. He asked my opinion. I have an opinion, but it's not anything I'm going to weigh in on. I will discuss facts. That got him started on the discussion about his disappointment in their behavior.

Another hospital stay, still no contact

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DH was admitted to the hospital last weekend. There is every chance he will come through this fine, but also likely that hospital stays are part of our new normal. I was looking at him laying in the hospital bed yesterday, and he looks like a frail old man. That can't be my DH!

So in a way I understand the skids' denial. That doesn't stop the march of time though.

I have not contacted them, and to my knowledge DH hasn't either. He has posted his situation on social media, which they both use. No response at all.

DH makes a funny

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My pocket manager (my phone) has stopped talking to me. I set an alarm reminder for something today and I did not receive the expected confirmation from Siri.

I commented to DH that Siri must be tired or upset with me. DH says, "Or she's gotten instructions from SD."

Laughter all around.

SS called yesterday, finally. I didn't stick around to hear the whole convo, but what I did hear was all about SS, his latest car repair, and the great job he's sure he's on the verge of getting. I could write the script.


Update: Abandoned DH

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DH's surgery went well. Expect he'll be in some pain and will definitely be going for physical therapy, but the scariest part is over. Whew.

And still not a peep from SD43ish or SS37ish. SD has made it clear that she is not speaking to him (and won't tell him why, she's so mature). SS is a little more mysterious. They seemed to be ok, but he's gone radio silent.  The fear is always that the call of addiction is back in play. I pray not.

I'm not going to bother to call them. They obviously don't care. It's so unbelievable to me.

DH all but abandoned

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I feel so sorry for DH.

Recap: SD is not speaking with DH, for reasons unknown other than something to do with Auntie's passing two years ago. SS does speak with DH, but on his terms. Hasn't come to visit us in 10 years. All travel is on us. DH has developed serious health issues, and neither skid acknowledges that.

DH is having surgery next week. It's a common surgery but with his fragile health it is a little scary. DH texted both kids. Neither have responded or called after several days.

It’s official: Skidville for Christmas. Or is it?

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I don't even know how to process this one. DH called SD today to make plans for Christmas. Again, we will go to Skidville. I agreed because I have close family there.

A few minutes after they hang up, DH gets a message from her. Tells him not to come. She's angry with him somehow related to Auntie's passing nearly two YEARS ago. She says it not negotiable.

DH has no idea what she's upset about and she's said nothing all this time. I know she was angry about several things that the rest of us didn't do right (meaning things she didn't control).

Interesting timing, DH

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I am currently in the ER waiting for CT results. Nothing life threatening but I am in some pain and have been all day.

DH chooses THIS time to bring up holiday plans with his kids in Skidville. I wish I had the ability to puke on command because here I am in the perfect place for that.

All I said was that we can talk about it when I'm feeling better. 

So he's pouting. And my GAF response-o-meter isn't working.






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DH landed in the emergency room a couple of days ago due to physical manifestation of anxiety. It was scary. He's home, but still not ok. We see his psychiatrist today. Mental health disorders are a real thing.