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Merry's Blog

There are two sides to every story.

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Submitted by Merry on Thu, 07/04/2024 - 4:35pm

That is true, and maybe more than two. But that doesn't mean that both sides are equally at fault for a poor relationship. DH thinks SD and I are equally responsible for our frosty relationship. That was a revelation.

Oh HE11 no! I know he misses her. (For those who need background, SD 43ish hasn't been speaking to DH for more than two years. He "said something hurtful" at his sister's funeral. He doesn't know what and SD won't tell him. Yeah, that's the way adults solve problems.)

O/T dog storm phobia

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Submitted by Merry on Fri, 05/17/2024 - 4:43am

My sweet Pittie mix has a terrible time with storms. Very little response to Prozac or Xanax and I think one other thing the vet tried. Thundershirt and hemp chewies also not effective.

She pants, drools, shakes, climbs on me, runs out into the storm if she gets half a chance. She really suffers, and so do I.

And my grumpy old lady border collie mix is super protective of me and doesn't share well.

The (almost) worst has happened

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Submitted by Merry on Sat, 05/11/2024 - 2:35pm

I left town for a few days for a much needed break to spend time with my daughter and her family. DH has not been well, but it's manageable and his doc told me there was no medical reason for me to cancel my trip. So I went. Had a great time. Spoke with DH throughout and all seemed fine, even early this morning.

I get home to him unconscious on the floor. I called the EMTs, and we're in the emergency room now while they try to figure out what happened. Doesn't appear to be heart or stroke.

SD breaks her silence

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Submitted by Merry on Fri, 05/03/2024 - 10:06am

A few days ago I heard DH on the phone, laughing too loudly, too long, too often. Oh, he must be talking to SS. But NOPE, it was SD.

DH had sent her a message saying that she doesn't have to talk about whatever he did to "hurt" her, but couldn't they still talk about the other things going on in their lives? Ok, he misses her. I get that.

Another chapter in life after Auntie

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Submitted by Merry on Tue, 04/23/2024 - 10:21am

Another discovery related to Auntie's passing two years ago.

We all loved her. DH suggested that the family (which doesn't include me, remember) establish a memorial of some sort. Great idea, oh Yes, Daddy. We want everybody to always remember Auntie. Please Daddy. We'll support it and help. (All lies. Waste of breath.)

DH discusses SD

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Submitted by Merry on Sun, 04/14/2024 - 10:57am

We are coming to the end of settling Auntie's estate and recently closed a bank account. Not a great deal of money--most of her assets were part of an irrevocable trust which has turned out to be an incredibly bad idea. Not enough in it to justify the ongoing work, but not my issue.

Anyway. DH was torn about sending some of the bank money to his kids. He asked my opinion. I have an opinion, but it's not anything I'm going to weigh in on. I will discuss facts. That got him started on the discussion about his disappointment in their behavior.

Another hospital stay, still no contact

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Submitted by Merry on Thu, 04/11/2024 - 8:27am

DH was admitted to the hospital last weekend. There is every chance he will come through this fine, but also likely that hospital stays are part of our new normal. I was looking at him laying in the hospital bed yesterday, and he looks like a frail old man. That can't be my DH!

So in a way I understand the skids' denial. That doesn't stop the march of time though.

I have not contacted them, and to my knowledge DH hasn't either. He has posted his situation on social media, which they both use. No response at all.

DH makes a funny

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Submitted by Merry on Sun, 03/31/2024 - 9:00pm

My pocket manager (my phone) has stopped talking to me. I set an alarm reminder for something today and I did not receive the expected confirmation from Siri.

I commented to DH that Siri must be tired or upset with me. DH says, "Or she's gotten instructions from SD."

Laughter all around.

SS called yesterday, finally. I didn't stick around to hear the whole convo, but what I did hear was all about SS, his latest car repair, and the great job he's sure he's on the verge of getting. I could write the script.

 

Update: Abandoned DH

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Submitted by Merry on Wed, 03/27/2024 - 4:20pm

DH's surgery went well. Expect he'll be in some pain and will definitely be going for physical therapy, but the scariest part is over. Whew.

And still not a peep from SD43ish or SS37ish. SD has made it clear that she is not speaking to him (and won't tell him why, she's so mature). SS is a little more mysterious. They seemed to be ok, but he's gone radio silent.  The fear is always that the call of addiction is back in play. I pray not.

I'm not going to bother to call them. They obviously don't care. It's so unbelievable to me.

DH all but abandoned

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Submitted by Merry on Fri, 03/22/2024 - 12:04pm

I feel so sorry for DH.

Recap: SD is not speaking with DH, for reasons unknown other than something to do with Auntie's passing two years ago. SS does speak with DH, but on his terms. Hasn't come to visit us in 10 years. All travel is on us. DH has developed serious health issues, and neither skid acknowledges that.

DH is having surgery next week. It's a common surgery but with his fragile health it is a little scary. DH texted both kids. Neither have responded or called after several days.

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