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Predictable, with a twist

Merry's picture

Submitted by Merry on Fri, 04/18/2025 - 5:07pm

Haven't checked in with an update for a while.

We left off with SD not speaking with DH for reasons unknown. They now text, but short interactions a few times a week.

And SS was looking for a job, discouraged that the 6-figure jobs weren't being laid out in front of him. He finally did get a job with a good salary, but shy of six figures. So he's been BUSY. Hasn't called DH for weeks.

Until yesterday. He's having some health issues. He does have insurance through his employer but it has a $7000 deductible. Gosh, why do you think he would tell DH about that? Just random I'm sure.

DH and I just reviewed our retirement budget and we're doing ok but there is no extra. Timing on that convo was perfect.

Today I found DH sending SS info about medical loans. DH is still paying one of his own so it was on his mind. Hahaha, I bet SS is ticked off.

Also in the money category. DH sent his grandson a check for his birthday. The kid (a teenager) washed it by mistake, so ruined. DH asked me to send a replacement check through our bank's bill pay system. Ok, not sure why that approach, but ok. I got a notice that the check hadn't been cashed after three months. I asked DH to communicate that to SD, who said she knows. ??? And that's the only reminder they will get from me. 

And none of this is mine to fix. I like being a spectator. 

Comments

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Sat, 04/19/2025 - 12:38am

It's hard to watch some of this stuff and stay detached.  I've also had the experience of sending a kid or grandkid a check and them waiting forever, or never, cashing it.  I dont get it.

Merry's picture

Submitted by Merry on Sat, 04/19/2025 - 10:20am

This grandson and I were big buddies until maybe 5 years ago. I guess SD changed her mind and, again, no explanation. I hope I can reconnect with him when he's older and on his own.

Trudie's picture

Submitted by Trudie on Sat, 04/19/2025 - 1:37pm

...that had to hurt. I, too, hope your connection can be reestablished.

I can't wait to have grandchildren! DH has one; I word it like this because I am not treated like a grandma, so I don't act like one. So many times I wonder how it will land when I have grandkids and am a 'real' grandma. If the difference in my behavior is mentioned, I will gently explain the 'why'. 

ImperfectlyPerfect's picture

Submitted by ImperfectlyPerfect on Mon, 04/21/2025 - 5:40pm

Yep, I feel the exact same way. I recieve no baby photos, no comms, no interaction and when they make announcements about stuff I am invisible - they stare directly at DH. So...I learned early on where i stood and I haven't missed it. In fact i would likely be sacrificing money, time and resources and now I am keeping these things for me and for others. It actually feels pretty good to take my hard earned money and earn myself a vacation rather than dump that in an endless and ungrateful VAT of SKIDville with gSKIDs.